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King Qrover 

Chronicles of His Reign, 



ACCORDING TO 



Simonides, the Scribe of the Tribe of Lechay. 
By JAMES S. BIERY. 



FIRST BOOK. 



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King Grover. ^^^ 

Cheohicles of His Reigk, 



ACOOKDING TO SIMONIDES, 

The Soeibe of the Tkibe of Leoiiat. 



BY / 

JAMES S. BIERY. 



ft ' 

X ^ / . FIRST BOOK. 




"And all the people shouted and said, God save the King." . 

I Samuel X., 24. . -* 1 . — » ' 



3S^3h?^ 



ALLENTOWN, PA. : 

PUBLISHED BY THE AUTHOK. 

1894. 



Copyright, 1S94. 
By JAMES S. BIERY. 



AH Rights Reserved. 



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PREFACE. 

These chapters were written during odd hours snatched 
from a busy practice of the law, and must, of necessity, con- 
tain many imperfections. 

But the reader that has followed current events will 
find in them many a grain of homely truth told in a quaint 
way. 

While the form, language and settings in which the events 
referred to are told may, perhaps, provoke an occasional 
smile, it is not pretended by the author that he is gifted 
with either wit, humor or sarcasm, nor was either of these 
aimed at. 

The effort is intended as an earnest protest against the 
acts and doings of those into whose hands the administra- 
tion of public affairs have, for the time being, been com- 
mitted ; and to awake the reader to the danger and suffer- 
ing that must follow a continuance of the policy inaugurated. 

Some of the topics touched upon— such as the tyranny 
and curse of slavery in its day, the re-establishment in 
power of those who upheld, and still believe in, that institu- 
tion, the destruction of the prosperity of this country under 
revenue tariffs and the consequent injury to domestic man- 
ufactures and suffering to labor, are subjects which have 
engaged the author's thoughts for years ; and when to these 
are added a reckless abandon of high purpose in the ap- 
pointment of men to positions in the public service, and a 
disregard for true Americanism in the administration of 
the Government, he would seize every legitimate weapon 



iy PREFACE. 

at his commaud to strike down those evils, aud extirpate 
the spirit that animates them. 

When the manner and methods of elevating to their high 
positions the men who administer the present Government 
are considered, it might well be said of the American peo- 
ple as it was of the Jews in their folly: ^^ My people doth 
not consider.''^ 

The employment, to a considerable extent, of the old 
form of the English language, and the arrangement of the 
matter into verses, was occasioned by the favorable recep- 
tion of several articles on other topics published by the 
author in the papers. In all cases of allusion or reference 
to occurences recorded in the Bible, it will be noticed that 
they relate to temporal aud historical, and not spiritual 

matters. 

James S. Bieey. 

Allentown, Pa., September, 1S94. 



KING GROVER. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 



CHAPTER I. 

GEOTER PROCLAIMS HIMSELF KIN"G. 

TT came to pass iu the year one thousand eight hundred 
ninety and three, in the third month and the fourth day 
of the montli, after Benjamin, the just, had ruled over the 
children of Brother Jonathan for the space of four years, 
that they crowned Grover, of the Buffaloes, the second time 
to rule over them. 

2. Now, Benjamin had also desired the favor of the peo- 
ple at the hustings in casting their lots, and sought to per- 
suade them to cast their lots for him. 

3. But Grover and his companions had caused it to be 
noised abroad, falsely, that Benjamin had ruled unjustly. 
and had sore oppressed the i^eople with extortionate taxa- 
tion, and that by reason of the oppression the husbandmen 
and laborers were defrauded of their rightful recompense 
for their labor by cruel taskmasters. 

4. And Grover had also for manj^ days before the time 
of the hustings proclaimed aloud from the housetops that 
he greatly pitied the common people in their downtrodtlen 
condition, and caused it to be believed that if he were chosen 
to be their ruler he would lift the heavy yoke from off their 
shoulders and would cause the land to flo'^ with milk and 
honey. 

5. And the people believed the words of Grover, and they 
cast their lots for him at the hustings, that he should rule 
over them. 

6. Ajid great was the joy of them that had chosen Grover 



6 KING GROVER. 

wlieu the lots were counted and it was found that he was 
again chosen ruler of the land. And being devout men 
they cointiuued their devotions at the shrines of Bacchus for 
many days and nights without ceasing, and made the welkin 
ring with the noise of their rejoicing. 

7. And there were those who, in former days, had be- 
longed to the people of Benjamin, the just, which also cast 
their lots for Grover, hoping thereby to find favor in his 
sight, and to be rewarded for their fealty with places of 
dignity and profit. And it was by the help of these that 
Grover was again chosen ruler-. 

8. Now, the name of the sect to which these belonged 
was Mugicump, which was composed by tlie slang-whangers 
from two words taken from the speech of the Angles. 

9. The word ''mug," seemeth to be taken from "muck," 
which signifieth dung, manure, or a vile, filthy substance. 
And the word "tcump," seemeth to be taken from "■vamp," 
which signifieth to patch or mend. Thus, by interpretation, 
the name of the sect signifieth those who have mended or 
mi.\ed their brains with some vile, filthy substance. 

10. At the same time when tlie children of Jonathan chose 
Grover to be their ruler they also chose a Common Council 
of the nation which was in accord with the mind of Grover; 
and the Chief Coxmcils of the several provinces into wliich 
the laud was divided, afterwards chose a Select Council of 
the nation, which was also in accord witli the mind of 
Grover. 

11. Seeing, therefore, that his throne was thus made sure, 
and greatly magnifying his importance, the King forgat his 
promises which he had made to the common people, and 
waxing bold, proclaimed himself, " King Ghovek, the 
Great." 

12. And behold ! when the people heard the proclamation 
of the King, a great shout went up from the faitliful all over 
the laud, from the Sea of Atlantis on the orient, to the far 
off Peaceful Sea toward the Occident, and from the land of 
Acadia on the north, even unto the land of Montezuma on 
the south, saying: " Oreat is King Grover of the Buffaloes/ 
Long live the King I" 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 7 

13. Now the luizzas of the faithful greatly pleased the 
King, who was of prodigious stature and ponderous weight. 

14. And so it was, that the King had not grown vain by 
reason of the- symmetrj- of his body, nor on account of tlie 
exceeding beauty of his countenance, the which ought al- 
ways to be considered of great virtue in a prince. 

15. And the King was gifted with wonderful traits of 
mind and manner, whereby he commanded his memory to 
forget, and it forgat : his eyes not to see, and they saw not ; 
and his mouth not to speak, and it spake not. 

16. And when King Grover was established on his throne, 
lol a great multitude of the faithful from all the ends of 
his kingdom came and gathered together in the citj-- where 
the King dwelt in his palace, making a great clamor at the 
gates of the palace to eat out of the King's fleshpots, which 
had been promised them. 

17. And when they came into the presence of the King 
they bowed to the earth and said : " O King, live forever ! 
We have come to renew our friendship of old with thee, 
and make our abode with thee, for we have been faithful 
and have come to eat the bread which is the fruit of our 
labor." 

18. But the King knew them not, neither did he recog- 
nize them when he looked upon them, nor did he answer 
tiiem when they spake unto him, because he had command- 
ed his memory to forget his friends of old, his eyes not to 
see them and his mouth not to speak unto them. 

19. For so it was, that the King had chosen new friends 
from among the faithful, and had even taken Walter, the 
doubter, a Mugwump, to his bosom, and set him on his 
right hand in the King's Council. 

20. And when the King's friends of old, who had paid 
many thousand shekels of silver and had greatly holpen in 
many other ways to make him King were much displeased 
because he knew them not, then it was that the King was 
wroth and drave them from the palace, neither did he 
hearkem imto their voice any more. 

21. But the multitude which cried at the King's gates for 
bread was exceeding hungry and thirsty, and was without 



3 KING GROVER. 

number, like unto the lociists and lice of Egj-pt in the daj^s 
of Moses. 

22. And likewise, thej'' choked the King's privy council 
chamber with their great numbers, and they clambered into 
the private apartments of the King's palace, so that the 
whole palace was filled. 

23. And when King Grover saw that he could get no peace 
because of the importunity of the multitude, he commanded 
that all mxist leave the gates of his palace and depart from 
the city, and that no bread should be given to them that 
tarried. 



CHAPTEK II. 

THE KING DREAMS A DREAM. 

A ND so it was, that many leagues towards the Occident 
from California, which was a province that belonged 
to the children of Brother Jonathan, and where there was 
much gold, there dwelt the Kanakas, among the isles in the 
midst of the sea. 

2. And there were mountains of fire in the isles, but the 
land of the Kanakas was a goodly land and fruitful, and was 
abundantly watered by the early and the latter rains. 

3. And great ships, like unto the ships from Tarshish, 
went down from Frisco, a great city by the sea in the prov- 
ince of California, laden with miich merchandise, precious 
and costly. 

4. And the ships touched at the isles of the Kanakas, 
which were called Hawaii, for to take water and other nec- 
essary things on their long journey across the sea. 

5. And the children of Brother Jonathan had made peace, 
and a covenant with the Kanakas, and trafficked with them. 

6. For there were three score thousand people that dwelt 
among the isles, which were the abode of the Kanakas. 

7. Now, the Kanakas w^ere a heathen people, and they 
were neither white nor black, but were brown intermingled 
with red, so that their color was like unto the color of tar- 
nished copper. 



CHRONICLES OF IlIS REIGN. q 

8. But they were beautiful in form and comely to look 
■upon. 

9. Now, the ruler of the Kanakas was a Queen whose 
name was Liliuokalani, which is, being interpreted, Lilli- 
walk-aleine, or Lilli-walk-alone. 

10. And it came to pass in those days that the Queen's 
Council made insurrection against her, and being crafty, 
overthrew her Kingdom. And her Chief Council ruled in 
her stead. 

11. And greatly desiring to join themselves imto the chil- 
dren of Jonathan, the rulers of the Kanakas sent embassa- 
dors to Benjamin when he was yet ruler, to make a new 
covenant with him. 

13. Now when Grover, (who was not yet crowned King), 
read in his encyclopedia that tlie women and men of the 
Kanakas were comely, and well formed, he yearned in his 
heart to join them unto his Kingdom when he should be 
crowned King. 

13. But Benjamm, being quick-minded, made a new cov- 
enant with the embassadors ere Grover was crowned Kino-, 
that the Kanakas should be joined to the children of Jon- 
athan. 

14. And Benjamin sent the new covenant unto the Select 
Council, that the Council should consent thereto, according 
as it is written in the law. 

15. But certain of the Select Council hated Benjamin and 
would not consent, neither would they suffer the new cove- 
nant to be considered. 

16. So, while the new covenant was yet before the Select 
Council, Grover was crowned King. 

17. Now, Walter, the doubter (he that sat at the King's 
right hand in the King's Council), being at enmity wfth 
Benjamin, sought to slay him, even though Benjamin was 
no longer ruler. 

18. And it came to pass at the end of one month, that 
Kmg Grover dreamed ; and behold he stood upon the Isle 
of the Manhattoes. 

19. And, behold, a well favoured bison and fatfleshed; 
and it fed in the valley. 



JQ KING GROVER. 

20. Aucl behold, a tiger which came clown from a high 
Hill, ill favoured and leanfleshed — a fierce and ravenous 
beast; and it crouched in the jungle by the side of the bison 
as it fed on the grass in the valley. 

21. And the top of the Hill whence the tiger descended, 
was cold and barren; neither did any trees or shrubs grow 
thereon. 

23. And the ill favoured and leanfleshed tiger ate up the 
well favoured and fat bison. And the King wist not that 
the Tiger's name was Tammanj'. 

23. And it came to pass in the morning that his spirit was 
troubled; and he sent and called Walter, the doubter, beside 
which there was none so wise in all the land. 

2-4. And "Walter came in unto the King, and saluted and 
said: "O, King, live forever!" 

25. And King Grover said unto Walter, "I have dreamed 
a dream, and the meaning tliercof is too deep for me; and 
knowing thy great wisdom, I have sent for thee." And the 
King told his dream unto Walter. 

26. Now, Walter being filled with hatred toward Benja- 
min, answered the King, saying, this is the meaning of the 
King's dream : 

27. " Behold, Benjamin, ere he ceased to be ruler, made 
a new covenant with the embassadors of the Council which 
rule over the Kanakas; and the Kanakas are wroth and will 
not have the Council to rule over them, neither will thej' be 
joined unto thy Kingdom. 

28. "And the Kanakas are an exceeding fierce and war- 
like people, and they eat their enemies which they take in 
war, preferring the well favoured and fatfleshed. 

29. "And so it is, that if the Select Council will consent 
to the new covenant which Benjamin made with the embas- 
sadors, it will be thence forever too late, and the Kanakas 
will be joined imto thy Kingdom. 

30. "And they will make war against thee, and will pre- 
vail against thee, and thou wilt be taken in battle. 

31. "And the fierce warriors of the Kanakas will crouch 
down like unto the tiger in thy dream, and will spring upon 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. H 

thee, and will kill thee and eat thee, as did the tiger uulo 
the bison. And this is the interpretation of thy dream." 

32. (Now, in the interpretation of the King's dream, a 
Ij'ing spirit had possessed the tongue of Walter, and he 
deceived the King). 

33. And great fear seized upon King Grover when he 
heard the interpretation of his dream (for he had never been 
in battle, but had sent his hired servant to battle in his 
stead when the war was) and his knees smote together, and 
he was moved in his bowels from fear. 

34. And Walter said imto the King: "Now haste thee 
quick, and send thy privy messenger with a message, and 
bring back from the Select Council the new covenant which 
Benjamin made with the Kanakas, ere it be too late. 

35. "And look 3-0U out a suitable man in thy Kingdom, 
and send him as 'thy commissioner' with 'paramount au- 
thority' to the Isles of the Kanakas and command him to 
undo the new covenant and pull down the banner which the 
embassador of Benjamin hath raised at Honolulu, and which 
was dearly loved by Brother Jonathan in his day, and which 
is yet loved by his children." 

36. And King Grover, not caring for the banner, heark- 
ened unto the voice of Walter, and did all those things 
which Walter commanded. 

37. And he looked about him for a suitable man ; and 
behold, was there one more suitable than James, whose sur- 
name was Blount (Blunt) (which is, being interpreted dull) 
who was Avont to pull down the banner, Avheu Abraham, the 
faithful, was ruler over the children of Brother Jonathan? 

38. And he chose James, and called him "my eomviisdon- 
er," and gave him " paramount authority ^'''' and James went 
to the Isles of the Kanakas, and pulled down the banner and 
did all those things which he was commanded to do. 



12 KING G ROVER. 

CHAPTER III. 

THE KING GOES A FISHING. 

JX the (laj-s of Abraham, the faithful, when he was ruler 
over the children of Brother Jonathan, there was war in 
the land. 

2. And the rxilers and the people of the Soutliland Avhich 
lay betwixt the great river and the gulf of the 3Ioutezunaas, 
engaged in battle against Abraham and his people. 

3. Now Jefferson, whose surname was Davis, which being 
interpreted, is Son of Saturn, (becaiise he was encircled 
with shining rings or hoops), Avas ruler of the Southland. 

4. And Ulysses was the captain of the host of Abraham, 
and Robert was the captain of the host of Jefferson., 

5. And the war waxed hot and continued for the space of 
four years. And great and might}^ were the hosts that met 
in battle. 

6. And like imto the dead which lay in heaps after the 
battle on Mount Gilboa in the days of King Saul, so lay the 
dead in heaps after the battle between the hosts of Abraham 
and the hosts of Jefferson. 

7. And as in the daj's of Rachel, so, in all the land was 
there a voice heard, lamentation, and weeping, and great 
mourning, rnothers weeping for their children, and would 
not be comforted, because they were not. 

8. And the war ceased and there was peace throiighout 
all the land of the children of Brother Jonathan. 

9. And it was ordained, that in the fifth moutli on the 
thirtieth day of the month, in every year, the people should 
cease from their labors ; and they were commanded to go to 
the graves of them that fell in battle, and them that died of 
their wounds, and put garlands and flowers upon their graves 
for a memorial unto the dead who died for tlieir country. 

10. And so it was that the people, the old men and the 
yotuig men, the old women and the young women, the 
maidens and the children, gathered at the graves of the 
dead, and they put garlands and flowers upon their graves 
as thev were commanded. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 13 

11. Aud the chief orators of the land spake unto the 
people, aud told them of the mighty deeds done in battle 
bj- them that were sleeping with their fathers. 

13. And they that made sweet music were there, and 
played upon the trumpet, the born, the timbrel and the fife. 

13. But King Grover delighted not in hallowing the mem- 
ory of them that fell in battle, neither did he go to their 
graves, nor did he strew them with garlands and flowers. 

14. But so it was, that wheu the day came, be left his 
palace and forsook the city wherein he dwelt, and went a 
fishing. 

15. And, lo ! there was an isle in the sea not far from the 
King's palace, which was called Hog Island, which, being 
interpreted, signifieth the isle where much swine was wont 
to be kept. 

16. And thither the King went and sat down by the sea- 
side to fish, and as he was fishing he looked out over the 
sea. 

17. Aud behold, a vision, as if it were moving on the 
face of the waters. 

18. And the King saw in the vision a vast host which no 
mau could number, marching with stately step, aud arrayed 
in the habit of soldiers. And in their hands they carried 
banners. 

19. And the King's eyes were fastened on the vision, 
neither could he remove them from the scene. 

20. And he forgat his fishing-tackle, and was like unto 
one that is dumb. 

21. And the vision moved on the face of the waters 
towards the King, and behold, they of the host had gar- 
lauds aud flowers and palms in their hands. 

22. Aud he that led the host was of lofty mien and stern 
countenance, and on his forehead sat a star, bright and 
shinitig. 

23. And King Grover wist by his countenance that it was 
he which is called " Father of his Country." 

24. And behold, another, following the first, with stately 
step, but bowed in form, and of mild, sad countenance, as 
of one that had known grief aud w^as burdened with sorrow. 



14 KING GROVER. 

25. And the King knew that it -was Abraham, the faithful, 
he that was ruler over the Childen of Jonathau during the 
^var. 

26. And lo, a wreath encircled the brow of Abraham, and 
in the midst of the wreath, over his forehead, a briglit jewel 
was set, which shone like the morning star. And the name 
of the jewel was fidelity. 

27. And next, following hard upon the steps of Abraham, 
came Ulj'sscs, the silent and brave, he who had been the 
captain of the hoSts of Abraham. 

28. And the vision came nigh unto the King and stood 
still, and he that was the first of the throng spake unto the 
King as one that hath authority, saj-ing : " What doest thou 
here this day ?" 

29. But the King was speechless and could not answer a 
word. 

30. Then spake Abraham, the faithful, to the King, and 
said : " Why dost thou defile my garment with which thou art 
clotJied?" (for King Grover had borrowed Abraham's gar- 
ment ere he was crowned King). 

31. And the King could not answer him. 

82. Then spake Abraham again to the King, and said : 
"]My garment ill befitteth thee, and thou art unworthy to 
be clad in it." 

33. And the King looked at his own person, and some- 
what about him, and behold! he stood in the midst of great 
herds of innumerable swine. 

34. Then Abraliam reached forth his hands and stripped 
his own garment from ofT the King's body, and left him 
standing in tlie midst of the swine in his own native nak- 
edness. 

35. Then, Abraham, surveying the King from his head to 
his feet, and with scornful countenance, said: ''Proper 
plight in a fit place for an unfit King of tJte Children of 
Brother Jonathan to be this day.'' 

36. And a sound from the throng attending Abraham, as 
of many voices, was heard, saying : " "Who is this King ?" 

37. And there was one that stood forth from the throng, 
and he spake in a loud voice, saying : " This is he that hath 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. ir 

proclaimed himself King of the Children of Brother Jona- 
than, and who, by harsh words and uncouth speech hath 
forbidden the stipend to our widows and orphans, which 
the Chief Council of the land had allowed them for our ser- 
vices to the land, and they are left without bread." 

38. And the King knew him that spake, and wist that it 
was his hired servant whom he had sent to war in his stead, 
whose recompense remained unpaid. 

39. And the vision vanished. 

40. The spirit of fishing had forsaken the King, where- 
fore, in sullen mood and with downcast countenance he 
sought his fishing tent. And he called no one to interpret 
the meaning of the vision, for he understood the meaning 
thereof. 



CHAPTEE lY. 

THE KING AND HIS LORD OF THE TEEASUEY. 

TT came to pass that after Grover of the Buffaloes had 
been chosen ruler the second time, and ere he was yet 
crowned King, that he bethought him whom he should com- 
mand to be his lord of the treasurj-. 

2. Now there were many thousands of talents of gold, and 
millions of shekels of silver in the treasury. 

3. And so it was that Daniel, whose surname was Man- 
ning, the Gothamite, had been lord of the treasury in the 
days when King Grover had been ruler before over the chil- 
dren of Brother Jonathan. 

4. And Daniel was a wise man, good and true, and he 
hearkened unto the money changers and merchants of the 
land, and did those things which were for the good of all 
the people. 

5. But Grover was sore displeased because Daniel heark- 
ened unto the money changers and merchants and obeyed 
him not in all things. 

6. So Grover in his wrath cast otit Daniel from the King's 
Council and slew him. 



1(3 KIXG GEOVER. 

7. Now, when Grover had been chosen niler the second 
time, he said in his heart that he would not again have a 
Gothamite to be his lord of the treasur}'. 

8. But he sought a man after his own heart, and that 
would obey him in all things, for Grover had now grown 
wondrous wise in his own conceit and was persuaded that 
he could tell the lord of the treasury all those things which 
he should do. 

9. Neither would he hearken unto his friends who would 
gladlj' have counseled him in the matter ; for he was per- 
verse and stiffnecked. 

10. Now Grover dwelt on the banks of an arm of the sea : 
where the gentle waves of the water laved the peaceful 
shore, and where the melodious song of the buzzard was 
heard in the land. 

11. And so it was, that he said fare-thee-well to his wife 
and his loved ones for a season, and entering his chariot, 
departed thence to journey hither and thither, and up and 
down throughout the borders of the land of the children of 
Brother Jonathan to seek him out a man which should be 
his lord of the treasury. 

12. And the chariot whereinto Grover entered was beau- 
tiful and stately to look upon. And it was furnished and 
garnished with rich drapery, costly and rare within, and was 
higlily polished without. 

13. And the chariot was drav/n by a great and mighty 
horse, whose feet were iron and turned like wheels, whose 
sinews were steel, whose breath was like unto the vapor that 
riseth from a boiling cauldron, and out of his nostrils pro- 
ceeded fire and smoke. 

14. And the highway on which Grover journeyed was cast 
up and was built of wood and stone, and iron and steel, and 
was made fast and sure so that it could not be moved. 

15. And the speed of the horse and the chariot were like 
unto the swift flight of an eagle in the air; and the tramp- 
ing of the horse was like unto the sound of tliunder. 

16. And Grover forgat not to take with him his encyclo- 
pedia into the chariot. 

17. And thus did he joiirney throughout the length and 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. I7 

breadth of the land of the children of Brother Jonathan to 
find a man who should be his lord of the treasury. 

18. And in his journeyings Grover was wholly unmindful 
of the great city of Boston, far down East, which erstwhile 
was called Shawmut by the aborigines, and was beautiful 
for situation in the midst of three hills by the sea. 

19. And he passed by the great city of Gotham, and the 
City of Brotherly Love, and regarded not the mighty city 
of Chicago on the inland sea far toward the Occident, 
which, by interpretation, signifieth the voice of the Great 
Manitou. 

20. Neither did he have regard unto any other of the 
large cities within the borders of the land wherein to find 
a lord of the treasury, but continued his journey toward the 
Southland. 

21. And he passed over the great river and came unto the 
borders of the land of the Bourbons. 

23. Now the country of the Bourbons was a goodly land 
and well favoured. 

23. And as Grover journeyed through the land of the 
Bourbons and beheld the fields, lo, the grass changed its 
color of green and became blue. 

24. And he was put in great fear, lest he might be be- 
witched, or that his wits should forsake him. 

25. So Grover opened his encyclopedia and read concern- 
ing the Bourbons and their country, and lo, it was written, 
that in divers parts of the land of the Bourbons the grass 
was blue and not green. 

2G. And as the chariot was swiftly moving along Grover 
again looked out upon the fields, and behold, great flocks 
of large birds were feeding upon the grass in the fields. 

27. And these birds had four legs and four feet and a tail, 
and their wings grew oixt of the sides of their heads, one 
wing on either side of the head. 

28. And the form of these birds was like unto the form 
of a horse, neither had they any feathers on their bodies, 
but were covered with hair like unto the hair of a horse. 
Neither did they fl)', but they walked on their four feet. 

29. And Grover was curious to find out the name of these 



J3 KING GROVEli. 

birds, aud he caused bis chariot to be stopped in the midst 
of the field, and he descended from his cliariot. 

30. Now there was a large flock of these birds where 
tlic chariot stopped, and an Ethiopian was there attending 
them. 

31. And Grover called the Ethiopian to him and inquired 
of him the name and nature of the birds. 

32. Now the Ethiopian saw that Grover was a tenderfoot, 
but wist not that be was chosen ruler over the land, and he 
conceived in his heart to deceive him. 

33. And the Ethiopian said unto Grover " these be the 
birds of the sweetest song which Noah had in the ark." 

34. Now Grover was exceeding fond of music, aud he 
commanded that the Ethiopian should cause the birds to 
sing. 

S-'). And the Ethiopian called his birds by name, and they, 
knowing his voice, ceased feeding on the grass, and raising 
their heads they all began with one voice to sing. And 
Grover held both his hands to his ears and ran into his 
chariot, for the song of the birds was most hideous. 

36. But the Ethiopian persuaded Grover to descend again 
from his chariot and told him falsely that these birds sang 
divers songs, and that they sang sweetest when they were 
tickled in the buttocks. Aud he commanded Grover to 
cause them thus to sing. 

37. And the birds seeming to be of innocent and gentle 
mood, Grover was deceived thereby, and reaching forth his 
hand sought to tickle one of them to make it sing. 

38. And the bird turned its head towards Grover and 
closed one eye, and moved its wing, and behold Grover lay 
upon the ground as one that is dead. And he wist not what 
it was that had stricken him. 

39. Now the Ethiopian was a man large and strong, but 
it was with great labor that, with the help of the driver of 
the chariot that Grover was put into his chariot, for his 
weight was three hundred pounds. 

40. And the driver of the chariot liastened on the jour- 
ney, and carried Grover unto a place called Covington, 
which is on the southern shore of the great river, in the 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. ^9 

land of the Bourbons, over against the city of the Cin- 
cinnati. 

41. Now in the city of Covington there dwelt a man 
whose name was John, the Griffin, whose surname was Car- 
lisle, and who was one of the Select Council of the people, 
and he knew Grover. 

42. And the driver of the chariot told John of the ill for- 
tune of Grover in the field with the bird. And John took 
Grover unto his own house and succored and nourished him 
until he was recovered. 

43. And John gave unto Grover to drink some of the wine 
which is made of the corn which groweth in the land of the 
Bourbons. 

44. And the wine gave much strength unto Grover, and 
the taste thereof greatly pleased him, and he drank much 
thereof, ^nd John showed imto Grover the great store of 
his wine, both new and old. 

45. And Grover spake unto John and said, " Command 
what thou desirest when I shall be crowned King, and it 
shall be given unto thee, even to the half of my kingdom." 

46. And John answered and said, "If now I have found 
favor in thy sight, I would be thy Lord of the Treasury, and 
thy will shall be my will, and thy ways shall be my ways, 
and thy commands shall be a law imto me as thy Lord of 
the Treasury." 

47. And Grover said unto John, "Swear unto me that thou 
wilt not hearken unto the money changers nor the mer- 
chants, nor unto them that make much fine goods in the 
land, and it shall be imto thee even as thoxi hast desired." 

48. And John said unto Grover, "I swear." 

49. And when Grover was crowned King he commanded 
that John be Lord of the Treasury even as he had promised 
him in the land of the Bourbons. 

50. And behold, the acts of John, the Griffin. Lord of the 
Treasury, are they not written in the book of the Chronicles 
of the Reign of King Grover ? 



20 KING GROVEIl. 

^ CHAPTEK Y. 

THE laXG's rUEPOSE AND THE EULE OF THE GOD PAN. 

MOW, when John, the Griffin, had become the King's Lord 
of the Treasury the King sent for him. 

2. And when John came into the presence of the King he 
saluted and said, " O King, live forever." 

3. And John said, "Wherefore hath the King sent for his 
servant, and what would he have him do ?" 

4. And the King answered and said: "I have sent for thee 
that thou mayest know my will concerning them in my 
kingdom wlio have robbed m}' people these many years. 

5. "They are they who have eaten out the substance of 
the husbandmen and the laborers, and have grown fat by 
the making of much tine merchandise, and extorting unjust 
prices therefor from the poor. 

6. "And so it is that the dwellers in the land of Acadia, 
in the land of Britannia, in the laud of Gallia Belgica, in 
Frankland, and in other lands beyond the great sea have 
much goods and merchandise in store which they would 
sell unto my people for a small price. 

7. "But behold, in the days of Abraham, whom they call 
the faithful, when he was ruler over the children of Brother 
Jonathan, they built a wall, high and strong, around their 
country, on tlie borders thereof, and fastened the gates 
thereof. 

8. "And so it is that tlie kinsmen and followers of Abra- 
ham have continued to renew and strengthen the wall 
hitherto. 

9. "And Benjamin, who ruled over the land ere I was 
King, being joined by William, whose surname is McKinley, 
built the wall anew and laid deep and strong the founda- 
tions thereof and made it sure. 

10. "And the name of the Avail is Tariff, and they would 
feign make my people believe that the purpose thereof is to 
protect them in the means of their living against the incur- 
sions of the foreign makers of goods and merchandise, wlio 
sore oppress their people in their own countries. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 21 

11. " I ;ut SO it is that the friends and followers of Benja- 
min and William are deceiving my people, for lo, are tliere 
not millionaires in the land who have built their shops and 
their mills within the protection of the wall, and have growm 
fat upon the labor of the artizans, the husbandmen and them 
that are skilled in handicraft? 

13. "And these have become the 'robber barons' of the 
land, and they seek the shelter of the Avail in order that they 
may extort a great price for their merchandise which they 
make, from them that labor for them, and from my people. 

13. "For I have purposed in my heart to raze the wall 
■which is called Tariff, and to lay low the towers and strong 
places thereof, anel to break down the gates. 

14. "And I will utterly destroy the robber barons through- 
out the land and close up their mills and workshops. And 
there shall be no more protection for them. 

15. "And I will invite my friends from foreign lands to 
bring their goods and merchandise into my country upon 
payment into my treasury of meagre customs, so that my 
people may purchase them for a small price. 

16. "Go to now and make known the will of thy King 
unto them of the Select Council and Common Council of the 
people, so that when they shall meet they may be ready to 
fulfil my will." 

17. And when it was noised abroad throughout the land 
that King Grover had purposed in his heart to break down 
the great wall of protection, great fear fell upon all those 
who were making goods and merchandise. 

18. And they said unto themselves we must limit our pro- 
duction and must make no more goods than we can speedily 
sell. And they did so. 

19. And they that purchased from the makers of the 
goods, in large quantities to sell again to the dealers among 
the people, likewise curtailed their demands upon the mak- 
ers of the goods and purchased no more than they could sell 
speedily. 

30. And the dealers among the people bought no more 
goods than the people would purchase from day to day, and 
would keep no great quantity of goods in store. 



22 KING GROVER. 

21. And every man kept in his bag all the money he could 
get and refused to lend it to the money changers. And the 
money was no longer passing from each man to his neigh- 
bor as it was wont to do. 

23. And so it was that when the people saw what thing 
the King had purposed in his heart to do that great fear fell 
on all the land. 

23. And the makers of goods, the merchants, the mone}- 
changers, the husbandmen and the laborers ran hither and 
thither, and wist not what to do to save themselves. 

24. And the god Pan ruled among the children of Brother 
Jonathan, and there was great confusion and tumult through- 
out the land. 

25. The maker of goods could no longer pay his laborers, 
because there was none to buy from him, the merchant 
could not pay, for there was none to buy his goods in store, 
and the dealers among the people coxild not pay, because 
the laborers had been forced to cease their labor, and the 
mills and the shops were closed, and the men had no money. 

26. Nor could the husbandmen sell their corn, because 
they that had need of it had no money wherewith to buy. 

27. And tlie coffers of tlie moneychangers became empty, 
for there was no one to place his money therein, and those 
who had loaned their money to the moneychangers reqiiired 
repayment thereof. And the money changers were likewise 
forced to close their doors. 

28. So the god Pan reigned supreme, like \mto his rule in 
India when he was the great captain of Bacchus, and there 
was confusion worse confounded. 

29. And now it was that certain of the money changers 
and merchants went down from the great city of Gotham to 
see King Grover in his palace in order that he might help 
them to stay the reign of the god Pan. 

30. Now King Grover was a devout worsliipper at the 
shrine of Bacchus, and was loath to prevent the reign of 
Pan, the captain of Bacchus. 

31. And when the money changers and merchants from 
Gotham had made their plaint to the King he stretched out 
both his arms and yawned as one that waketh from sleep, 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 23 

and spake iinto them, saying: "Gentlemen, keep cool as I 
do." Neither was the King tender of heart, for he had been 
hangman among the Buffaloes. 

32. (Now, the King received eighty thousand shekels each 
year for his wages, besides numerous servants, and he 
cared naught for the people). 

33. So the men from Gotham were much displeased with 
the King and they departed imto their own home. 

34. Afterwards the King sent John, the Griffin, his lord of 
the Treasury, to the city of Gotham to learn what should be 
done to stop the reign of the god Pan. 

35. But when John saw the great city and the large build- 
ings thereof, and the multitude of its people running hither 
and thither, he became bewildered and lost his way, wan- 
dering about in the highways, the byways and the hedges of 
the great city. But he could not find out what should be 
done to stop the reign of the god Pan. Neither did he go to 
see any of the money changers or the merchants. 

36. So John, the Griffin, returned unto the King's palace, 
being unable to tell the King any new thing. 

37. Whereupon the King and his lord of the Treasury 
agreed between them that thej^ would make known through- 
out the land that it was by reason of the great increase of 
the shekels of silver that the god Pan ceased not his reign. 
And they unjustly laid the cause of the evil at the door of 
one John, whose surname was Sherman. 

38. And the King called the Select Council and the Com- 
mon Council to come together on the seventh day of the 
eighth month, to make void the decree which ordained the 
making of so many shekels of silver. 

39. And meanwhile the King went a fishing by the sea 
where the buzzard sings his raatin song to its mate. 



24 KING GROVER. 

CHAPTER VI. 

hokesmtth's decree against the soldiers. 

A ND so it was that King Grover loved not the sokliers that 
fought in the army of Abraham, the faithful. 

2. But he hated them and reviled them in his edicts when 
he was ruler over tlie children of Brother Jonathan the first 
time. 

3. And he forbade unto them the stipend which was al- 
lowed imto them from the Treasury by the Chief Council 
and by Benjamin, the just, when he was ruler over the land. 

4. Now, many of the soldiers of Abraham's army were 
old and poor, and many others of them were sore distressed 
by reason of their often infirmities, neither could they labor 
for bread any more. 

5. But they received, each, every month, his stipend for 
to buy bread, because, else they could get no bread to eat. 

6. But King Grover said in his heart — "I will have no 
mercy on the soldiers of Abraham's army because they 
fought against the people of Jefferson, who are my friends." 

7. And it was so that the lord of the Interior, who was 
also of the King's Council, was chief judge over the soldiers 
respecting the stipend allowed them. 

8. And the King purposed in his heart to choose a man 
to be lord of the Interior who would fulfill his will concern- 
ing the soldiers, and mete out his wrath against them. 

9. And he chose a man from the Province of Georgia 
whose name was Ilokesmith, which being interpreted signi- 
fieth son of Vulcan, and made him lord of the Interior. 

10. Now Ilokesmith was a giant, and was a fierce man 
who was wont to eat fire, and there was no mercy in him. 

11. He was the son of a physician, and was learned in all 
the learning of his father. 

13. At the tender age of seventeen years he chose to be an 
advocate rather than to be a physician, and straightway he 
entered upon the labor of his calling. 

13. Being a devout disciple, he diligently searched the 
text of the law and read "all the decisions of the" Areopa- 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 95 

gus, and also the decisions of the Chief Court of the Prov- 
ince of Georgia. 

14. He waited not that any man's cause should compel 
him to find out the law thereunto pertaining, but rather 
labored that he might know it all, that he might be ready 
for any cause wherein he should be employed. 

15. Wherefore, he preferred the law, and modesty forbade 
that he should hold any office of the people, until he was 
made lord of the Interior by King Grover. 

_ 16. And he entered into his office in the year one thousand 
eight hundred ninety and three, in the third month and on 
the seventh day of the month, filled with wisdom and full of 
years, at the exceeding great age of thirty and seven years 
six- months and five days. And all the world wondered. 

17. And, behold, are not these things written in the book 
of the "Official Congressional Directory?" 

18. And Ilokesmith was greatly rejoiced to know that he 
should now be able to be revenged of those who fought 
against his people, and who prevented them from fulfilUng 
their rebellious purpose. 

19. And so Hokesmith was made lord of the Interior and 
judge over the soldiers respecting their stipend; and Kino- 
Grover said unto him, "See, I have chastised the soldiers 
of Abraham's army with whips, but do thou chastise them 
with scorpions." 

30. And Hokesmith answered and said, "My little finger 
shall be thicker unto tliem than were thy loins." 

21. And as certain of the poets have said, so, likewise, 

"High on a throne of royal state, which far 
Outshone the wealth of Ornius, and of Ind, 
Or where the gorgeous East with richest hand 
Show'rs on her kings Barbaric pearl and gold 
Hokesmith exalted sat." 

22. And, filled with malicious hate, before him he called 
three hundred thousand of the soldiers of Abraham's army. 

23. And lo, the great multitude of them tliat had by just 
witness established their cause, and with right received 
their monthly stipend from the Treasury, came before the 
unjust judge. 



2Q KING GKOVER. 

24. And there appeared before him the lame, the halt, the 
blind, the deaf, the \vo\inded, the sick, the distressed, the 
suffering and the aged, to hear the decree of Hokesmith, the 
\injiist judge. 

25. For thirty years had now passed since the daj's of 
Abraham and many of these were now suffering because of 
their service in his army. 

26. Now, the judge being an austere man, and of haughty 
mien, and the wrath within him burning, said unto the mul- 
titude before him — "Ye fraudulent and deceitful, ye are 
robbing the Treasury of that which belongeth not to you. 
Ye are wasting thirty-two million shekels of the money of 
the Treasury every j-ear." 

27. And he made a decree against them, that they should 
not receive their stipend from the Treasxiry any more ; save 
that he who could establish his cause anew within two 
months should again receive his stipend. 

28. And many of them that heard Hokesmith's decree had 
cast their lots for Grover at the hustings, and it repented 
them that they had cast their lots for him. 

29. Now, it had not been heard in all the land since the 
days when the fathers established the Government, that any 
man could be condemned ere his cause was heard, neither 
could that be taken from him without witness, which, by 
just decree, had been given imto him. 

30. Nor was it ever heard in the land, that anj- man coidd 
be adjudged guilty of fraud tmtil the fraud had been tirst 
fully proven. 

31. And when the multitude heard the decree of the un- 
just judge, their hearts fainted within them, and thej' cried 
unto the judge for mercy and for justice, because they 
knew that they must famish for lack of bread. 

32. But Hokesmith, the King's lord of the Interior, the 
unjust judge, answered them with scorn, saying: '■'Away 
iri'th you, Tanks, ye have heard the decree of the Cou7-t." 

33. And he drave them from the judgment seat. 

34. And the decree of the lord of the Interior greatly 
pleased the King. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 27 

CHAPTEE Vn. 

MEETING OF THE SELECT AND COMMON COUNCIL. 

A ND it came to pass iu the eighth month, on the seventh 
day of the month, that the Select Council and the 
Common Council of the children of Brother Jonathan met 
in obedience to the King's command. • 

2. And the members of the Chief Council gathered to- 
gether in the council chamber in the great temple iu the 
city of the King, where it was ordained by the fathers that 
the Council should sit. 

3. And the members of the Council came from the East 
and from the West, and from the North and from the 
South, from every province throughout the laud. 

^ 4. And among them that came were Richard, the Bland, 
from the provmce of Missouri, which is, being interpreted, 
muddy water, and Richard had caused many millions of 
shekels of silver to be made. 

5. And there came also from the province of the Suckers, 
William, whose surname was Springer, which is, being in- 
terpreted, a runner. 

6. And there came also, from the province of Kansas, 
Jeremiah, whose surname was Simpson, which is, being in- 
terpreted, " Sockless Statesman." 

7. And there came also, William, whose surname was 
Peffer, whose soul first dwelt in a body which he called 
PfeifEer, and was thence, by metempsychosis, translated 
into the bodies called — Pifer, Pfeflfer, Piper and Pepper. 
And it was he that was the spice of the Select Council. 

8. And there came also, Thomas, from the province of 
the Pine Tree, far down East, whose surname was Reed, 
and this Reed was not broken, but was every whit whole. 

9. And there were many other members that gathered, 
(for there were three hundred and fifty-six of the Common 
Council, and eighty-four of the Select Council) the record- 
ing of whose names would be too tedious in this place. 

10. And so it was that when the Council was gathered to- 
gether iu its place, that King Grover sat on his throne, and 



28 KING GKOVER. 

be sealed a message uud sent it unto the Select Council, and 
unto the Common Council by his messenger. 

M. And tlie King wrote in his message that the people 
were suffering by reason of tlie closing of the doors of the 
money changers, and the stopping of the mills and work- 
shops of them that made mucli fine goods and gave labor 
and recompense therefor unto many thousands of men and 
women. 

12. And also, that it was not for lack of abundance in the 
land that these calamities had come, but because the Grov- 
ernment, under Benjamin, tlie just, when he was ruler, had 
made and given unto the people a superabxmdance of shekels 
of silver. 

13. And the King commanded that the Council do ordain 
b}' an ordinance that no more shekels be made. 

14. And the King also writ in his message saying that the % 
wall, called Tariff, must also be speedily reformed, which 
signifieth, tlmt it shculd be destroyed. 

15. And the King commanded his messenger that he tarry 

in the Council Chamber and hearken what they of the C-oun- 

cil would say concerning liim and his message, and bring 

him word thereof. 

I 

16. And the King's messenger did as he was commanded. 

17. And so it was that when the King's message was read 
aloud in the Council, some of the members said in a loud 
voice concerning the King — " Meiu, mene, tekel, uphnrdn.'^ 

18. And when the messenger returned the King said luit'O 
him, tell me what said the Council concerning me and my 
message. 

19. Now, the messenger was sore afraid, for he had not 
imderstood the words which he had heard in the Council, 
because they were spoken in a strange tongue. And the 
messenger halted and stammered. 

• 20. But the King was impatient and commanded that tlie 
messenger must answer; and the messenger said— O, King, 
lay not the charge to thy servant's door for thou compellest 
him to answer, because these are the words which seemed 
to be spoken by some of the Council, concerning the King— 
" Many, many are tickled with your farce. ^^ 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. £9 

21. And the King was wroth and rent his garment and 
smote his breast with his fist, and he sent for Daniel, whose 
surname was Lamont, which is, being interpreted, tbe moun- 
tain, but they that mocked said that his name ought to be 
Mo nticello— the little mountain. 

23. And tlie King told Daniel of the answer which his mes- 
senger had brought from the Council concerning him, and 
he rehearsed unto Daniel the whole matter. 

23. (Now Daniel had written the message himself for the 
King.) 

24. And Daniel thought himself to be wise, and an inter- 
preter of unknown tongues, and he spake and said, O, King, 
the words which the messenger brought unto thee are not the 
words which were spoken in the Council, but the words which 
they spake were these— " Mene, merie, tekel, upJiarsin." 

2.3. And the King said unto Daniel, what mean these 
words, and what is the interpretation thereof? Now, Daniel 
was not learned in all the learning of the Chaldeans, and he 
answered and told the King, this is the interpretation of the 
words— "Thou art weighed in the balances, and it hath been 
found that thy body is too he&Yj and thy head is too light." 

26. And the wrath of the King was greatly increased, and 
he stamped on the floor with his foot so that the whole pal- 
ace shook, and he breathed out threatenings against the men 
of the Council, saying— "not one of them shall have a post- 
office building— for every SoM'den there shall be an Allen, 
town " 

27. But the Council feared not the King, and there were 
an hundred men of the Common Council who banded to- 
gether and vowed that they would not bow the knee xmto 
Baal, but there must be freedom to make unnumbered shek- 
els of silver, and they selected one man from every province 
in the land and called them ''w7iips." 

28. But there were others, namely, Bourke, whose surname, 
■was Cockran, of the tribe of Tammany, and Geisehainer, 
which was aforetime Geisenheimer, which is, being inter- 
preted—he that Cometh from the home of llie goa'ts, and 
still others who favoured the King and strove to have no 
more shekels of silver made. 



30 KING GROVER. 

29. And tliese counseled with John, the Griffin, lord of the 
Treasury, wlio commanded that they must fullil the King's 
desire. 

30. Now, in the Council there were also those who made 
a tumult and clamored for both shekels of silver and talents 
of gold, and furthermore, others cried for "shinplasters." 

31. And it was so that there was a great noise, tumxdt and 
confusion, some crying for one thing and some for another, 
like unto the confusion of tongues in the days of the build- 
ing of the tower of Babel ; and no man could tell what they 
cried. 

32. And besides there was none to hire them that labored, 
for the " mills had shut down," and many of them that had 
cast lots for Grover at the hustings repented of their doings, 
but that helped them not to buy bread for their women and 
their children. 

33. And when the King, sitting on his throne, beheld the 
tumult in the Council and the sufferings of the people 
which he and his friends had created, his heart fainted 
within him, and he said in his heart—" let the Council light 
it out and swelter in the heat." 

34. And the King grew worse and was sick of a Quincy, 
and his heart yearned for tne cooling winds of the North- 
land, and the sweet song of the Buzzards by the seaside. 

35. So the King gave unto Daniel his "whip" wherewith 
to goad those of the Council who were contrary-minded, 
and left the palace and went a-fishing by the sea. 



CHAPTEE YIII. 

THE KING GOES TO THE MOUNTAINS. 

A ND so it was that the heat of the summer was very great 
even by the side of the sea where the King dwelt, and 
he was ill at ease for he was fat-fleshed and suffered from a 
toothache. 

2. And he sent for his physician and said unto hhn, "I am 
weary of this place because of the heat of the summer, and 



CHRONICLES OP HIS REIGN. 3 J 

I am in great pain from a decayed tooth. ' Whitlier shall I 
go to find rest ?' " 

3. And his physician answered and said unto him, "Make 
ready now and I will take thee out upon the sea in a yacht." 

4. And the King did as he was commanded, and his physi- 
cian, and another physician from the city of Brotherly Love, 
and another man with a scientific gas-bag, took the King 
out upon the sea. 

5. And when they had gone out a great way, they cast 
anchor and caused the King to smell of the gas which was 
contained in the bag, and the King fell into a deep sleep. 

6. And the two physicians cut the flesh of the King's jaw- 
bone and removed the tooth which had greatly troubled 
him, and closed over the flesh again, like unto the side of 
Adam whence the rib was taken. 

7. And they returned not to the land for many days, but 
tarried a great way out upon the sea, lest the people should 
find out that the King had lost a tooth, for he was exceeding 
tender about the matter. 

8. And when the wound was healed, they returned to the 
land, but the King had suffered much pain, and his full 
strength had not yet returned unto him. 

9. And he spake again unto his physician, saying, "Whith- 
er shall I go to recover strength ?" 

10. And his physician answered and said, "Get thee up 
now and hasten unto the mountains, where thou shalt surely 
be restored." 

11. And the King made preparation and betook himself 
unto the mountains of Berkshire, which were in the Prov- 
ince of Massachusetts, nigh unto the western border thereof. 

12. And in his journey thither the King must needs go 
through many cities. 

13. Now, the land in the Province of Massachusetts was 
not fruitful, but barren, and the people thereof had built for 
themselves many large mills and workshops, wherein many 
thousands of men, women and youths labored making much 
fine goods and merchandise. 

14. Whereby they got honest gain and obtained their daily 
bread. 



32 KING GKOVEK. 

15. And the owners of the mills and workshops traflQcked 
with the merchants of the cities of the other Provinces of 
the land, wherewithal they prospered. But so it was that 
when the King passed through those cities, and beheld the 
mills and workshops, lo, they were shut down and the peo- 
ple were idle, nor could they find labor, for there was no one 
to hire them. 

10. And many of them that had not known want at any 
time, began to want for bread, botli for themselves, their 
wives and their children. 

17. And great was the distress and lamentation of the 
people for bread, and they made their plaint xmto the King, 
and with great importunity would persuade him to appease 
the Avrath of the god Pan. 

18. But the King made answer, that it was not he that 
could satisfy the god Pan, but they must make their plaint 
unto the money-changers who were in fault. 

19. But the people ceased not their importunity unto the 
King, but cried the more unto him, "give us bread or we 
die." 

20. Whereupon the King hastened with great speed from 
their presence, and journeyed toward the Occident until he 
came into the bailiwick of Berkshire, nigh unto the border 
of the Province of New York. 

21. And after the King had taken rest, and had taken re- 
freshments the which he had brought from the cellar of 
John, the Griffin, his Lord of the Treasury, he rose up early 
ia tlie morning and ascended the mountains of Berkshire to 
spend the day in meditation upon the woes of the children 
of Brother Jonathan. And he took refreshments with him 
to the mountains, lest he should faint by the way. 

22. (Now the people had complained unto the King that 
they were cast into idleness and suffered hunger because he 
sought to destroy the wall of protection, called Tariff). 

23. So, the King was greatly troubled in spirit, not that 
he cared for the good of the people, for he told them they 
ought to have an " object lesson," but lest they should turn 
their face against him and should take the kingdom from 
him, and give it to another. 



CHRONICLES OP HIS KEIGN. 33 

34. And as the King was airing himself on an high pinna- 
cle among the tops of the mountains, these were the words 
of his lamentation: " Surely the children of Brother Jona- 
than have turned their faces against me — how shall I escape 
the wrath of the children of Brother Jonathan?" 

35. And the King was greatly troubled. 



CHAPTER JX. 

THE KING ON THE MOUNTAINS. 

A ND the King sat upon a stone on the top of the moun- 
tains of Berkshire, casting a vacant look eastward over 
the Province of Massachusetts, as of one lost in deep thought 
because of trouble. 

2. And, lo, a sound of music, sweet and strong came float- 
ing on the mountain air, and the sound thereof was like 
iinto the soimd of the sackbut. 

3. And the strain was familiar, but in accord therewith 
other sounds were wrought into a variety of tunes the which 
were inexpressible melodious, and altogether different from 
anything the King had ever heard. 

4. And when the music of the instrument had ceased, 
there came the voice as of some one singing, and the song 
M'as sung in the strain of the musician that had played upon 
the instrument. 

5. And these were the words of the song : — 

" My conntry 'tis of thee. 
Sweet land of liberty, 
Of thee I sing. 
Land where my fathers died. 
Land of the Pilgrims' pride, 
From every mountain side 
Let freedom ring." 

6. And so it was, that the singer ended his song, and the 
King cast his eyes towards an high rock on the top of the 
mountain. 

7. And by the side of the rock there stood one whose 
countenance was altogether fair, in whose hands there was 



34 KING GROVEK. 

a shepherd's staff, and whose garments betokened him to 
be one of old. 

8. And the shepherd, (for so he seemed unto the King,) 
beckoned xmto the King to come unto him. 

9. And the King arose and went unto the shepherd and 
fell at his feet and wept, because the King's heart had been 
touched by the music. 

10. And the shepherd lifted the King up from the ground 
and said unto him : "Arise, Grover, and fear not, for I too, 
am a man." 

11. And the King stood up and trembled, and asked, 
"Who art thou, and whence hast thou come ?" 

12. And the shepherd answered and said : "I am Brother 
Jonathan, the father over whose children thou wouldst make 
thyself King." 

13. And Grover feared the more, lest the wrath of Brother 
Jonathan should be kindled against him. 

14. But Brother Jonathan said again unto him: "Fear 
not, but hearken unto my words which I shall tell thee." 

15. "I have heard thy lamentations and have come to tell 
thee what thou must do to escape the wrath of my children, 
for though they be kind and long-suffering, their wrath, 
when it is kindled, is terrible. 

16. "I know wherefor my children are suffering this day, 
and the cause for their lack of bread; and being instructed 
in the teachings and doings of their fathers, they also know 
the ca\ise thereof. 

17. "Ere thou wert chosen riiler the second time, and when 
thou didst seek the favor of my children, and thy friends 
did ask them to cast their lots for thee at the hustings, thon 
didst promise to continue in giving my children bread ; but 
thou hast given them a stone. 

18. "Thou hast regard imto strangers that are not within 
thy gates, and seekest to feed them with the bread which 
thou hast taken out of the mouths of my children. 

19. "Thoxi hast set thy face against the people that have 
holpenthee into high places, and lovest the flatteries of their 
enemie?, and makest thy bed with them. 

30. "Thou has forsaken the instructions of thy fathers 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 35 

whicb I gave unto them before thou wert born, and like 
unto Rehoboam of okl, thou liast hearkened tiuto the coun- 
sel of the young men of thine own generation. 

21. " Thou are seeking to pull down and destroy the wall 
of protection, called Tariff, that the stranger may enter thy 
gates and despoil the prosperity of my children. 

22. " Thou hast forsaken the teaching which saith, ' If any 
provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own 
hoiise, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel.' 

23. "Thou art deceiving my children in saying that by 
reason of the abimdance of shekels of silver in the land, 'the 
mills are shut down,' and therefore they are suffering. 

24. "And thou dost grievously err in that thou hast chosen 
thy friends and companions from among them that soxight 
to destroy the land in the days of Abraham the faithful. 

25. "Thou hast no heart and art altogether selfish, neither 
doth it concern thee whether my children have bread to eat 
or not. 

26. "Now hearken unto my words, therefore, and give 
heed unto my warning : forsake the path unto which thou 
hast been led by false counsel. 

27. " Say unto my children, ' the wall of protection shall 
not be destroyed nor in anywise made weak, but it shall re- 
main as a shield unto you and your children.' 

28. "And do thou proclaim throughout the land that 
thou art not a king, but the servant of my children, lest thy 
boasted kingdom come to naught, and the scepter be taken 
from thee and given to another." 

29. And the King was dumb before Brother Jonathan. 



CHAPTER X. 

BKOTHEK JONATHAN REVEALS THE POWER THAT CON- 
TROLS THE KING. 

A ND Brother Jonathan said unto the King, "follow thou 
me and thou shalt see for thyself whence cometh the 
power that persuadeth thee." 



36 KING GROVER. 

2. And he led the King to the highest pinnacle of the rock 
and placed him upon it, and said unto him, "cast thine eyes 
southward and westward, and tell me what thou seest." 

3. And the King did as he was commanded, and said, "I 
see a great country, and the people who dwell therein are 
many millions. 

4. "The length thereof from the Sea of Atlantis on the 
east even unto the Peaceful Sea on the west is one hundred 
and fifty days' journey, and the breadth thereof is one hun- 
dred days' journey, from the Laud of Acadia on the north, 
even unto the Gulf of Montezuma on the south. 

5. "And behold, the high mountains, the broad valley, the 
great rivers of water, the deep inland seas and the large 
cities in all this land ; and it is a fruitful land. 

6. "And the land is divided into two parts, the one part 
thereof is called the Northland, and the other part thereof 
is called the Southland. 

7. "And lo, the sun shineth upon the Northland, but thick 
clouds of darkness overshadow the Southland." 

8. And Brother Jonathan said: "The land which thou 
seest is the rich heritage of my children which they received 
from their fathers, and it is greatly blest of Heaven. 

9. "Thou seest the land aa it was in the ancient daj'S — be- 
fore there was war between Jefferson and Abraham. 

10. "The Northland was free as the sun that shineth upon 
it, but the Southland was a land of bondage, dark as the 
clouds that hang over it. 

11. "Because four millions of Ethiopians were held in 
bondage by their masters, and woe unto him who vouch- 
safed instruction imto the bondmen, for, him the masters ill- 
treated and cast him into prison. 

12. "And him that labored with his hands, whether he 
•was white or black, the masters held in derision. 

13. "For greater store did they set by the Ethiopean bond- 
man, than by the freeman that labored, because the bond- 
man could be sold for a great price." 

1^. " Look again," said Jonathan unto the King, "and tell 
me what thou discoverest." And the King said : "Behold, 
a great Eagle which spreadeth her wings over the Northland 



CHEONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 37 

from the se:. of Atlantis on the east, even unto the Peaceful 
Sea on the west. 

15. "And lo, a great dragon, spreading its wings over the 
Southland, from the Sea of Atlantis, even beyond the Missis- 
sippi, which is, being interpreted, the 'Great Water.' 

16. "The dragon hath the head of a tiger, the teeth and 
claws of a lion, the wings of a bat, the tail of a serpent, the 
sting of a scorpion in the end of its tail, ej-es like unto coals 
of fire, and out of its mouth proceed fire and smoke and a 
dreadful noise." 

17. Brother Jonathan said : "The Eagle which thou seest 
is the spirit of freedom that cannot be bound, and it reigned 
over my children of the Northland. 

18. " But the dragon is the spirit of bondage which ruled 
over my children of the Southland. 

19. "It is that old serpent which reigned in the land of 
Egypt in the days of Pharoh four thousand years before 
thy day. 

20. " It bound in chains six hundred thousand of the sons 
of Israel, besides their women and children, in those days. 

21. "Likewise, it bound four millions of the Ethiopians 
in the Southland. 

22. "Look again," said Brother Jonathan, "and tell me 
what thou discoverest beneath the cloud." 

23. And the King said, " Behold, the chief rulers of the 
Southland bow down and worship the dragon. 

24. "And they obey its commands, and all the people of 
the SoTithland are subject to its decrees." 

25. Then said Brother Jonathan, "As in the days when 
the serpent beguiled our mother in the garden, which led 
unto destruction, so led the reign of this beast also to de- 
struction. 

26. "For, lo, when, after two hundred years of bondage, 
the Ethiopians continued to lift their hands bound in chains 
towards Heaven, crying : ' How long, O, God, how long,' 

27. " And when the sceptre had been in the hands of the 
rulers of the Southland for many years, 

28. "And they had ordained an ordinance wherein all 
men in the whole land were commanded to aid in seizing 



38 KING GROVER. 

liim that fled from bondage, aud to deliver him again to his 
master, 

29. "Aud when they sought, furthermore, to make my 
children of the Northland subject unto their dominion, 

30. " Then it was that the spirit of the great Eagle which 
thou hast seen entered into the hearts of my children of the 
Northland, and they said unto them of the Southland, 'Thus 
far, but no farther.' " 

31. And they of the Southland strove to reign over all the 
land, but they of the Northland would not consent thereto. 

32. " Now, so it was, that when, in the latter daj-s of 
bondage, the rulers of the Southland worshipped the drag- 
on, they were partakers of its nature in their hearts. 

33. "And the nature of the beast was hardness of heart, 
arrogance, avarice, envy, hatred, malice, injustice, tyranny, 
cruelty and murder — j-ea, ' the sum of all villainies.' 

34. "Therefore, the Ethiopians who cried imto Heaven 
in secret places sought deliverance from the yoke of their 
bondage. 

35. "And in those days my children in the Southland 
dwelt under thick clouds of darkness, for tlieir rulers loved 
darkness rather than light, because their deeds were evil." 



CHAPTEE XI. 

KING GROYER VIEWS THE NORTHLAND. 

"TTHEN King Grover lifted up his eyes and looked upon 
•^ the Northland, and said, "Behold a goodly land and 
fruitful ! 

2. "Is not the sun the light thereof, and are not the peo- 
ple blessed that dwell therein ? 

3. "Is the lash of the taskmaster felt, or the cry of the 
bondman heard in all the borders thereof ? 

4. "Are not all the people therein, who love peace and 
obey the law, free ? 

5. " And is not their prosperitj' great beyond the prosper- 
ity of them that dwell in the Southland, and doth not the 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 39 

stranger, from a far countr}- even, delight to make his abode 
with them ?" 

6. And Brother Jonathan answered and said, "Yea, 
verily, but in those days the thick clouds of the darkness 
of bondage oftentimes cast their shadows even over the 
Northland. 

7. " And it did not then appear what the country of my 
children should be, because they were greatly hindered by 
the power of bondage which bore the sceptre. 

8. "Wherefore, when my children of the Northland pros- 
pered more than did they of the Southland, then were they 
of the Southland filled with envy against them. 

9. " The Southland was given unto husbandry, j'et the 
master labored not with his hands, but compelled his bond- 
men to labor for him. 

10. " And unlike the Athenians which were in Mars' hill 
in the days of Paul, who spent their time in nothing else but 
either to tell or to hear something new. 

11. The rulers of the Southland in those days spent their 
time in cunning devices, whereby they might rule the peo- 
ple of the whole land and oppress them that labored. 

12. "But my children of the Northland labored with 
their own hands, both in the fields and in the mills and 
workshops. 

13. "And because they went, one to his husbandry, an- 
other to his handiwork, and another to his merchandise, and 
dwelt together in peace, the one buying from the other that 
whereof he had need, they prospered. 

14. " But they of the Southland forsook the ways of their 
fathers and obeyed not their teachings, because they pulled 
down their furnaces and built neither mills uor workshops. 

15. " But they proclaimed throughout all the land : 'Cot- 
ton is king,' and the merchandise whereof they had need, 
they bought in exchange for the products of their fields." 

16. Then spake Grover unto Brother Jonathan, saying: 
"Wherefore did thy children of the Southland not do as 
did they of the Northland, and prosper likewise?" 

17. And Jonathan answered and said : " In the beginning 
the condition of mine house was not so. Of a truth the 



40 KING GROVER. 

bondman was in the laud ere my Government was estab- 
lished, 

18. " But the spirit of bondage reigned not in those days 
like as thou liast seen its dominion in the latter days. 

19. "Then all were poor, because oiir fathers had been 
sore oppressed under the reign of the King of Britannia who 
had dominion over them, 

20. " And they all labored with gladness of heart and a 
willing mind for the common wealth of my country. 

21. "And when the Britannians threatened to enter the 
borders of my country with their merchandise, and keep my 
children poor and subject unto their dominion by tempting 
the avarice of the baser sort, 

22. "Then it was, in the j'ear one thousand seven hundred 
eighty and nine, that my sons builded a wall of protection 
round about the borders of our land, and fastened the gates 
thereof against tlie Britannians, 

23. " Nor would they suffer any merchandise to be 
brought within the gates until the customs thereon were 
first paid. 

24. " And it was so, that the land being blest with iron, and 
copper, and potter's clay, and a fruitful soil, and such like, 
my people built for themselves the furnace, the mill and the 
workshop, and greatly prospered throughout all the land. 

25. " But when the masters of the bondmen were become 
rich, they trafficked with the Britannians, and seeing the 
manner of the lords in Britannia, they envied their lordly 
estate, and strove to be like unto them. 

26. " Therefore, when the makers of goods and merchan- 
dise in Britannia heard that my children prospered in their 
day by reason of the wall of protection, they conspired with 
the masters of the bondmen in my country. 

27. And they said unto them, " Do not your brethren that 
make goods and merchandise in your own laud take so 
much therefor, behold we will sell ours for so much." 

28. " And when the masters saw that they could buy for a 
less sum from the Britannians, upon condition that the wall 
of protection be destroyed, they consented unto the words 
of the Britannians. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 41 

39, "And the rulers of the Southland said unto them of 
the Northland, 'Your wall that is a protection unto you is a 
grievous burden unto us,' and they cried, ' Raze it !' 

30. " But they of the Northland answered, 'Nay, not so, 
for if the wall be broken down, then shall we be undone, 
and in due season the Britannians will be extortioners both 
unto you and unto us. 

31. " ' Moreover, we shall no longer be free, but will again 
be subject to the dominion of them that oppressed our 
fathers.* 

32. "And from that day did the tariff wall become a 
brand of fire between the Northland and the Southland. 

33. "And the strife waxed hot. The rulers of the South- 
land cried, ' Raze it, raze it!' And the people of the North- 
land cried, 'Uphold it, uphold it!' 

34. "And twice, nay thrice, was the wall much broken by 
the rulers of the Southland when the sceptre was in their 
hand. 

35. "But when the people were all in distress, and all the 
land lay waste, and the cry of hunger was heard in all the 
land, by reason of the breaking of the wall, 

36. "Then it was that my children of the Northland said: 
'Come, let us build again the wall of protection which our 
fathers builded, that we be no more a reproach.' 

37. " And in their might they rose up and took the sceptre 
out of the hand that oppressed them and unjustly ruled over 
them, and gave it to another. 

38. "And as in the days of Nehemiah, who built the 
broken wall round about Jerusalem, so builded they the 
wall of protection again round about my country. 

39. "Distress and hunger was in all the land whensoever 
the wall was broken, and when it was built again there was 
great plenty, and the land flowed with milk and honey. 

40. " And once upon a time, when in the daj^s of Andrew, 
surnamed Jackson, which is, by interpretation, 'Old Hick- 
ory,' they sought to build the wall anew, they were greatly 
hindered. 

41. "For John Caldwell, surnamed Calhoun, and Robert 
Y., surnamed Hayne, who sat in the Select Council from the 



42 KING GROVER, 

Province of South Carolina, gave their voices against tlie 
work. 

42. "Therefore, after the wall had been restored, to wit: 
in the year one thousand eight hundred thirty and two, in 
the eleventh month on the twenty-fourth day of the month 
did the people of that Province rebel against the Govern- 
ment. 

43. "Yea, they made an ordinance saying that it was not 
lawful for the Chief Council to ordain and build the wall 
'for the protection of domestic manufactures.' 

44. "And the ordinance was called 'Nullification,' and 
therein the people of that Province proclaimed themselves 
free, and no longer subject unto the law which was ordained 
by the Chief Council. 

45. "But when Andrew, the ruler, threatened to hang 
them that rebelled, they ceased their rebellion. 

46. "Moreover, during the reign of James Knox, sur- 
named Polk, and during the reign of James, suruamed 
Buchanan, the wall was again broken down, and my chil- 
dren endured sore distress for they had no bread to eat. 

47. "And when the taskmasters and rulers from the 
Southland, and their kinsmen from the Northland, had 
fallen out by the way, it came to pass that Abraham, the 
faithful, was chosen ruler over my children. 

48. "And the rulers from the Southland rose in rebellion 
against Abraham and against the Government, and the war 
continued for the space of four years, and great was the 
slaughter thereof." 



CHAPTER Xn. 

KING GEOYEE SEES THE BATTLE. 

]\jOW, so it was, that during the war, the hosts of Abra- 
ham were everywhere revived by the spirit of the great 
Eagle, and the hosts of Jefferson were moved by the dragon. 
2. And Brother Jonathan said unto the King: "Look 
again and tell me what thou disceruest." 



CHRONICLES OF HIS EEIGX. 43 

3. And the King said, " Behold, the army of Abraham is 
set in array of battle against the army of Jefferson, and they 
make read}' to fight." 

4. The King continued to gaze upon the two armies, but 
held his peace. 

5. But like unto David, -when he went to see his brethren 
in the army of King Said iu the valley of Elah, even so King 
Grover's virtue was kindled in his heart to do battle for his 
countrj-. 

6. But he had not a staff in his hand, neither had he taken 
any stones from the brook, nor had he a sling in his hand, 
or any other Aveapon. 

7. Now his spirit, indeed, was willing, but the flesh was 
weak. 

8. And when he saw the soldiers rushing into battle and 
heard the shouting, the spirit of war was indeed upon him, 
and for verj' zeal he shouted: "^4 substitute/ a substitute! 
tny kingdom for a substitute !" 

9. Ajjd when he had looked upon the battle for a long 
time he shouted again : " Behold, they flee !" 

10. Quoth Brother Jonathan, "Who flee?" 

11. And the King answered and said: "The soldiers of 
Jefferson flee, and the army of Abraham pursiieth them. 

12. "And behold, the great Eagle teareth the dragon in 
the air, and the soldiers of Abraham smite the soldiers of 
Jefferson, hip and thigh. 

13. " And they that are not slain are taken in battle. 

14. " The Eagle, also, hath sorely wounded the dragon iu 
the head, and hath cast it bleeding to the ground. 

15. " And great is the shouting of the people of the North- 
land, saying: 'Victory, and honor, and glory be unto Abra- 
ham and unto the soldiers of his army ! the great dragon is 
slain !' " 

16. And behold ! in a moment, the shouting of the people 
ceased, and silence prevailed, and the blackness of darkness 
gathered over all the laud, and the voice of weeping and 
lamentation was heard throughout all the borders thereof. 

17. And the King turned unto Jonathan and said, "What 



44 KING GROVEK. 

meaneth this weeping and lamentation, and wherefore is thy 
coiinteuance cast down ?" 

18. And Brother Jonatlian said, "Look thou, and see for 
thyself." 

19. And the King looked and said : " Behold the great 
dragon is wounded and is bleeding. It struggleth in death 
and hath lashed about with its tail and hath stricken Abra- 
ham and wounded him in his head with the sting in its tail, 
so that he died. 

20. "And all the people of the Northland are weeping and 
mourning, and have put on sackcloth. 

21. " They have put ashes upon their heads, and refuse to 
be comforted, because Abraham, the faitliful, the ruler of 
the laud hath been slain." 

22. And Brother Jonathan wept, and lifting up his voice 
he cried: "Woe is me and unto my children, for my son 
that was chosen to execute the decree of Heaven among his 
brethren, is slain." 

23. And fear gat hold of all the people of the Northland 
and they wist not Avhat they should do. 

24. Then Brother Jonathan said: " Take now thine eyes 
from off this vision, and look no more upon it, but follow 
thou me." And the King did as he was commanded. 



CHAPTER Xm. 

ANOTHER VISION. 



"THEN led Brother Jonathan King Grover down by the 
side of the mountain. 

2. And when tliey had come to the mouth of a cave in the 
mountain, Brother Jonathan stretched out his shepherd's 
staff thrice over the King's head and said : " Follow thou 
me." 

3. And Jonathan led the way into the cave, and Grover 
durst not refuse to follow him, because he could not resist 
the charm of the shepherd's staff. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 45 

4. Now, the cave was exceeding dark, and great fear fell 
upon Grover, lest lie should never see the light of day any 
more. 

5. Therefore, he cried unto Brother Jonathan, saying : "I 
pray thee, let me return out of this darkness and this nar- 
row place into the light of day." 

6. And Brother Jonathan said : " Surely thou shalt return 
again unto the light of day, but not now ; for it must needs 
be that thou pass through this darkness into the light which 
I will shew thee, of which thou hast great need." 

7. And Brother Jonathan led the King still farther into 
the cave. And the rock above their heads became exceed- 
ing low, and the walls of the rock pressed heavily upon the 
King's sides, for he was fatfleshed, whilst Brother Jonathan 
was leanfleshed. 

8. Now, Brother Jonathan went before and King Grover 
followed after him, and they both crawled on their bellies, 
because the place was exceeding strait. 

9. So, when Jonathan had passed through the most nar- 
row part into a wider place, the King was fast and cried 
again, saying: ",I can go no farther, for this place is too 
strait for me, neither can I breathe. Help me or I die." 

10. But Jonathan said unto him : " Canst thou not endure 
to be in a strait place for a little while, when thou hast 
forced millions of my children into a place straiter than 
this." 

11. And Grover wist that Jonathan spake of the ills which 
afflicted his people. 

12. Therefore, he held his peace, but struggled with great 
labor that he might force his body through. 

13. But he could not move, either forward or backward. 

14. Then cried Grover the third time, saying : " Help me, 
O, Jonathan, or I die, for I am fast in this terrible place. 
'It is a condition and not a tlieory that confronteth me." 

15. And Jonathan answered : " Unto this end have I 
brought thee into this plight, that I might teach thee by ex- 
ample how terrible is the condition whereunto thou hast 
thrust my children. 

IG. "For, in a land of plenty thou has taken from them 



46 KI^-G GROVER. 

the light of prosperity, and thnist them into a (hina:eou of 
darkness. 

17. "Thou has hedged them in on everj- side and put 
them in a strait place, so that they cannot breathe the air of 
freedom, neither can they move forward or backward. 

18. "Upon their bellies, in humiliation, hast thou made 
them crawl to do thy will. 

19. " Unto thee have they cried for help, and thou hast 
not heard them; they have asked for bread, and thou hast 
given them a stone. 

20. "They have called upon thee for relief, but thou hast 
given them ' an object lesson.' 

21. "Tea, all these things hast thou done unto my chil- 
dren, and it is in thine heart to multiply their distress yet 
more. 

22. ""Wherefore, thy lot in this place hath been made a 
hard one, that thou maj^est repent and relieve the distress 
of my children. 

23. "But thou art not without praise, for in thy reign 
great works have been established. 

24. "Yea, in everj- Province and in every city in the land 
have they been established. 

25. "By them that have hearts big with mercy, and that 
are kind and given to charity, have they been established. 

26. "These works are called 'Soup Houses' wherein my 
famishing children are fed. 

27. "Because of thy great folly do they stand idle, and 
there is no one to hire them, and they have no bread to cat. 

28. "And against their will have they been brought into 
distress, neither can they help themselves any more. 

29. "Verily, I say unto thee, wheresoever men shall speak 
concerning thy reign, there shall also this, the necessity of 
the soup houses be told for a memorial against thee, and 
' TJie Soup House Administration'' shall be the name of thy 
reign, even unto all generations. 

30. "But that thou mayest be instructed in that which 
maketh for the good of my children, follow thou me." 

31. And so saying. Brother Jonathan smote the walls of 
the rocks on either side of the King's body with his shep- 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 47 

herd's staff, and lo, the walls parted, the King was released, 
and he followed Jonathan. 



CHAPTER XIV. 

THE KING SEES A GREAT LIGHT. 

NOW, when Jonathan and the King had gone but a little 
way, they entered into a large chamber of the cave. 
2. And in a moment, in the twinkling of an eye, a light 
above the brightness of the sun lighted every part of the 



cave. 



3. And the King fell to the ground because of the bright- 
ness of the light. 

4. But Jonathan lifted him up and set him on his feet, say- 
ing unto him: "Rise, Grover, and fear not, for this is the 
emblem of that light whereof I spake unto thee, and of 
which thou hast great need." 

5. No man could tell whence came the light, for there was 
no lamp, neither was there any torch to give light. 

6. And every part of the cave was lighted alike, and there 
were many chambers in the cave. 

7. Now, when the King's eyes could bear the lisbt, he 
lifted up his countenance, and behold, the glory of the cave 
was luispeakable. 

8. On every hand there dropped stalactites from the roof 
of the cave, and stalagmites rose from the bottom thereof. 

9. Stately pillars likewise rose from the bottom of the 
cave even unto the roof thereof. 

10. Ten thousand times ten thousand jewels, like unto set- 
tings of the topaz, the sardius, the chalcedony, the sardo- 
uix, the ruby, the onyx, the beryl, the emerald, the sap- 
phire and the diamond mingled the glory of their light 
from the walls and the pillars of the cave, and from the roof 
thereof. 

11. And when the King beheld the exceeding beauty of 
the cave, he was much troubled in his cogitations, and his 
countenance changed within him. 



48 KING GKOVER. 

12. Then said Brother Jonathan \mto him : " Come, and I 
will shew thee this place and all the glory thereof." 

13. And the King followed Jonathan whithersoever he 
•went in the cave, and lo, there were many and divers cham- 
bers therein, both great and small. 

14. And each chamber differed in beauty from the other 
chambers. 

15. Now, -when they were come into a large chamber in 
the midst of the cave, Brother Jonathan sat King Grover 
upon a large stone which had erstwhile fallen from the roof 
of the cave. 

16. And the stone whereon the King sat was white as 
snow, for it was covered with the substance of the sta- 
lactite. 

17. And behold ! on every hand great white pillars were 
set round about. 

18. Then said Jonathan unto the King: "Examine now 
these pillars and tell me what thou discoverest in them." 

19. And Grover said: "Behold I in the pillars, images, as 
it were of men's faces, set in the side of the pillars. And 
every image is set in its several pillar." 

20. Asid Jonathan said: "These are my sons, and they 
are the fathers of my children over whom thou wouldst rule 
as a King. 

21. "And this chamber is none other than the ^Council 
CJiamber of Wisdom,^ whence proceedeth naught but truth." 

22. Then spake Brother Jonathan unto the images, say- 
ing: "Hearken imto me my sons, and give ear unto my 
voice. 

23. "Whilst I Avas walking on the tops of th^se moun- 
tains, watching over mj' children in their distress, I espied 
a man full of trouble. 

24. " For he cried aloud: ' Surely the children of Brother 
Jonathan have turned their faces against me. How shall I 
escape the wrath of the children of Brother Jonathan ?' 

25. "Knowing, therefore, that it was he who was chosen 
to be the ruler among my children, I spake unto him, and 
brought him hither and set him in your midst that he may 
receive light, and peradveuture forsake the error of his way. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 49 

26. " The sect among my children whereunto he belongeth 
have declared conceiving the Tariff wall, which is like unto 
that which ye builded in your day for a protection imto my 
land, 

27. "That it is 'a fraud, a robbery of the many for the 
benefit of the few, and that it is not constitutional.' 

28. "And he, himself, hath declared that it is a 'vicious, 
inequitable and unnecessary tax.' 

29. "And now he seeketh to destroy the wall, even unto 
the foundations thereof, and to let the stranger come in and 
eat up the fat of the land that my children may perish for 
very want. 

30. "And now, that his sin hath found him out he lament- 
eth saying: 'It is a condition and not a theory that con- 
fronteth me.' How shall I escape the wrath of the children 
of Brother Jonathan ?" 

31. "Notwithstanding, his reign is like unto that of a 
King and master, and not as the servant of the people which 
it ought to be. 

32. " He hath himself said : ' Public office is a public, trust.'' 
Yet, hath he not fulfilled that trust. But he and his friends 
have found another Trust, which is, unto them, sweeter 
than honey and the honey-comb. 

33. "Ye, rhy sons, know well the foundations whereon ye 
builded my Government, and some of you also helped to 
make the supreme law of the land, and called it the ' Con- 
stitution.^ 

34. "Therefore, will I call upon you, that ye speak and 
instruct this ruler in the teachings of his fathers, that he 
may see the error of his way; 

35. "That he may repent and forsake the purpose of his 
heart, and ceasing to do hurt unto my children, reign with 
wisdom." 



50 KING GROVEK. 

CHAPTER XV. 

NAMES OF THE FATHERS. 

MOW, so it was that from every side, the faces of the 
images of the sons of Brother Jonathan were turned 
towards the King, and he sat in the midst of them. 

2. And these were the sons whose images were set in the 
face of the pillars : George, whose surname was Washing- 
ton who was the Father of Ms Country. 

3. Alexander, surnamed Hamilton, and James, whose sur- 
name was Madison. 

4. Thomas, surnamed Jefferson, (now this was not he that 
doubted,) who spake with authority ; and the words that he 
spake were words of wisdom. Moreover, he was the begin- 
ner of the sect whereunto Grover belongeth. 

5. Benjamin, whose surname was Franklin; and he it was 
that played with the lightning of the heavens, and therewith 
did he light the cave. 

G. A certain Lyman, whose surname was Beecher. (Now 
Lyman was a priest). 

7. James, whose surname was Monroe, and Andrew, sur- 
named Jackson. 

8. Henry, whose surname was Clay, which is bj' interpre- 
tation, earth, and he came from the land of the Bourbons. 

9. Thomas, surnamed Ewing, who was of the Province of 
the Buckeyes. 

10. And Daniel, whose surname was Webster, which is by 
interpretation, "son of thunder," and he came from the 
Province of Massachusetts. 

11. He was a mighty man, and valiant in the battle of words. 

12. Now, this was not he that was cast in the lions' den in 
the land of Babylon, nevertheless, this Daniel was also cast 
in a den of lions (?) in his daj'. 

13. And the lions feigned not to fear Daniel, and Dan 
feared not the lions. 

14. But as did Samson of old unto the Philistines when he 
slew them with the jawbone of an ass, even so did this 
Daniel in his day. 



CHEONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 5X 

15. Yet not 'witli the jawbone of an ass did he slay them, 
but them that imagined themselves lions in his day, he slew 
with the jawbone of a giant as if they had been asses. 

16. And manj^ other images of the fathers were set in the 
pillars round about, the which it would be too tedious to 
mention in this place. 

17. There were also the images of some of the great ones 
among the children of Brother Jonathan of the King's own 
day. 

18. And these were Abraham, the faithful; and James 
Abram, whose surname was Garfield, a just man, good and 
true. These twain were the martyrs among the rulers. 

19. Also, of James Gillespie, surnamed Blaine, the orator 
and wise counsellor, who sat at the right hand of Benjamin, 
the just, in the Ruler's Council, when he was ruler over the 
land. 

20. Also, of Ulysses Simpson, surnamed iSrant, a meek 
man and of few words, but mighty in battle, for he was the 
captain of the host of Abraham. 

31. There was also the image of Benjamin Franklin, sur- 
named Butler, the advocate. 



CHAPTER XVI. 

KING GROVEB RECEIVES INSTRUCTIONS. 

'THEN spake Brother Jonathan unto Thomas, saying : 
* "Speak thou first and declare unto this ruler of my 
children wherefore ye established my Government, and the 
foundation whereon ye builded it." 

2. And a voice proceeded from the image of Thomas, say- 
ing : " In the days of my youth the King of Britannia reign- 
ed over us. 

3. "A cruel and crafty King was he, and he dealt unjustly 
with his people. 

4. "Unto them he was an usurper, and grievous injuries 
did he often times inflict upon them. 



52 KING GROVER. 

5. "He sought to make of his people in these Provinces, 
hewers of wood and drawers of water unto him and his 
lords which dwelt beyond the sea of Atlantis. 

6. " When his 3-oke was too grievous upon his people, and 
they could bear it no longer, the Chief Council of these 
Provinces assembled and counseled together, and they made 
a writing attested by the superscription of them that sat in 
the council, 

7. "Saying that 'all men are created equal,' and that 
thenceforth these Provinces should be free, and should be 
no more subject unto the King of Britannia forever. 

8. " And when mighty men of valor had fought against 
the King for the space of eight years, they obtained the vic- 
tory over the King's host, and his dominion over the Prov- 
inces ceased thenceforth forever. 

9. "And thy sons, O, Jonathan, being banded together, 
made a law for all the land, which was approved by all the 
people thereof, whereby the foundation of thy Government 
was established. 

10. "And the foundation thereof was laid deep and 
strong, for it was engraven on the hearts of the people, that 
it should not be moved forever. 

11. Moreover, they builded a wall of protection round 
about thy land, that they might remain free, and nevermore 
be subject unto any King. 

12. "Therefore, he that is against manufactures among 
thy children, must needs desire that they be again made 
subject unto other nations, or that they be clothed in skins 
and dwell like beasts in dens and caverns. 

13. "I am thankful that I am not one of them. Exi>eri- 
ence bath taught me that the fruits of handicraft are as 
necessary unto the freedom of thy children as unto their 
comforts." 

14. Then spake Brother Jonathan unto Alexander, saying : 
"Thou wert the Secretary of my Treasure' in the beginning, 
speak thou, and teach this ruler of my children what he 
must do to restore again prosperity among them." 

15. And a voice spake from the image of Alexander, say- 
ing : " Great must be thy markets, O, Jonathan, wherein the 



CHRONICLES OF UIS REIGN. 53 

husbandmen among thy children may sell the fruits of their 
fields. 

16. " Such is, above all things, most needful, that the hus- 
bandman may floiirish. 

17. To create sxich a market there is none other aid than 
to promote ' manufacturing establishments.' 

18. "To multiply these doth furnish a market for that 
merchandise which was wont to be made abundautlj-, and 
likewise begetteth a desire for such as hath been hitherto 
unknown. 

19. "The encouragement and exercise of handicraft is 
profitable unto any nation that seeketh to do good unto its 
people continually. 

30. "He that buyeth from the stranger the fruits of his 
handicraft, and buyeth not from his brother, giveth unto the 
stranger the increase and profit thereof. 

21. " Emulation among them that labor in handicraft in 
their own country is profitable unto him that consumeth the 
fruits of their labor, because, thereby the price of their mer- 
chandise will be less. 

22. "Unto this truth testify both reason and experience." 



CHAPTER XVn. 

BENJAMIN TEACHES THE KING. 

nrilEN spake Brother Jonathan unto Benjamin, surnamed 
•' Franklin, saying: "Speak thoii and declare wherefore 
my Government was builded, and the glory whereuuto my 
country shall attain." 

2. And a voice from the image of Benjamin spake and 
said: "In the days when thy sons, O, Jonathan, went to 
battle against the King of Britannia, kings and lords- ruled 
in all the earth, and the poor were trodden under foot. 

3. "And when the sword of thy children prevailed against 
the King's host, they were free forever, even from the least 
unto the greatest 



54 KING GROVER. 

4. "And the foundations of thy Government were laid 
deep and made sure. And he that beareth the sceptre shall 
be the servant of all. 

5. "No king sliall rule again over thy children forever; 
but the people shall rule and be free, and shall not be be- 
holden or subject unto another. 

6. ' ' Neither shall any ruler among thy children be suffered 
to establish kingdoms, thrones and principalities in the 
earth. 

7. "For thj^ Government shall be an ensample unto all 
nations, that the}' may pattern after. 

8. "But the glory whereunto thy country shall attain, it 
is not possible for man to tell. 

9. "Behold! did not thy servant stretch forth his hand 
into the cloiid and seize the thunderbolts of heaven ? 

10. " Did he not hurl them against the citadel of ignorance 
and superstition and break down the great walls and strong 
towers thereof ? 

11. "Did he not chain fast the lightning to the key to 
foretell the day that should come, and now is, when thereby 
the secret chambers of knowledge should be unlocked and 
the treasures of wisdom brought forth from the place of 
their hiding ? 

13. "Yea, in the secret watches of the night thy servant 
slept not, neither did he slumber, for his cogitations and in- 
ventions suffered him not to sleep. 

13. " Nor do they who follow in his footsteps take their 
ease \ipou their beds, but day and night do they toil. 

14. "Until the very elements of the air, erstwhile deemed 
the enemy of man, have been yoked and made obedient unto 
the will and dominion of man. 

15. "And as a good and faithful servant obeyeth his mas- 
ter, so, likewise, do these obey the commands of the chil- 
dren of men. 

16. "In my da}- thy nation was like a man's hand, but lo, 
what a mighty people hast thou become ! 

17. " Thou art grown great among the nations of the 
earth, and in thy wisdom and power art thou second unto 
none. 



CURONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 55 

18. "Thou hast waxed mighty in knowledge and in deed, 
• and knowledge shall be increased ' yet more, and the end 
thereof is not yet. 

19. "As a nation thou shalt shine as a star of the firma- 
ment, and Shalt be had in reverence by all men everywhere. 

20. "Yet, if thy children be foolish, and depart from the 
faith and forsake the ways of their fathers, or be subject 
unto another, or shall suffer any other nation to have do- 
minion over them, 

21. "Then shalt thou be cast down and become a mockery 
and a by-word among all nations, and there will be none to 
help thee. 

22. "But woe unto him through whom this calamity 
Cometh." 

23. And the voice of Benjamin ceased. 



CHAPTER XVin. 

THE BUILDEKS OF THE GOVEENMENT TEACH THE KING. 

'pHEN spake Brother Jonathan unto James, and said: 
"Thou art Madison, and knowest well the foundations 
of my Government, for thou art one of the chief builders 
thereof. 

2. "Behold Grover, the ruler among my children. Him 
have I brought hither and sat him in your midst that he 
might receive light, because he is in great darkness. 

3. "He hath proclaimed himself a follower of Thomas, 
yet hath he eschewed the words and doctrine of Thomas, 
and followeth after the counsel of those who love not my 
people. 

4. " And they have banded themselves together to destroy 
the wall of protection, the like whereof ye builded in thy 
day when thou wert the chief builder thereof. 

5. "Wherefore, fear hath seized on all them that make 
goods and merchandise, and the ' mills have shut down' in 
all the land. And the husbandmen have no market for their 
grain. 



56 KING QROVER. 

G. "And millions of my children that are skillful in handi- 
craft, and they that labor are standing idle, because there is 
no one to hire them ; and there is famine in the land that 
was wont to flow with milk and honey. 

7. "Therefore, have my children turned their faces 
against this ruler, and he is greatly troubled and seeketh to 
escape their wrath. 

8. "Now, therefore, speak thou, and declare unto him 
whether the wall of protection be against the supreme law 
of the land, as he and his sect have declared." 

9. And a voice from the image of James spake, saying : 
"Is not this the old question which arose in my day, 
whereof I then spake ? 

10. "Doth not the supreme law of the land declare: 'The 
Congress shall have power * * * * to regulate com- 
merce with foreign nations ? ' 

11. "And in yielding consent unto this law, did not the 
Provinces also yield unto the Chief Council their wonted 
right and power to maintain the walls of protection which 
some had built round about their borders ? 

12. "Tea, verily. Else had Brother Jonathan been alone 
among the nations of the eartli bereft of that power which 
is a shield against the power of other nations. 

13. "Now, in those days, they that knew not the law, but 
were wise in their own conceit, strove concerning the inter- 
pretation thereof, ' That tlie object be not an encouragement 
of domestic manufactures.' 

14. "And above thirty years after the making of the su- 
preme law it was that this contention arose for the first time. 
From the beginning it was not so. 

15. "For, behold, of them that sat in the council which 
ordained the supreme law of the laud were these : Nicholas 
Gilman, Elbridge Gerry, Roger Sherman, George Clymer, 
Thomas Fitzsiramons, James Madison, Jr., (thy servant), 
and Abraliara Baldwin. 

16. "And the same sat, also, in the first Chief Council of 
the nation which ordained and builded the first wall of pro- 
tection, round about the land, which was like unto the wall 
that was built in the days of William, surnamed McKinley. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 57 

17. "And lo, was it not written in the statute that the 
purpose of that wall was ' the encouragement of manufac- 
turers ' in our own land ? 

18. "Now, he that is called 'the Father of his Country' 
was the ruler of the Council which ordained the supreme 
law of the land, and with his superscription did he attest 
that law. 

19. "The same was also the ruler of the land when the 
Chief Council ordained the statute for the building of the 
first wall of protection, which statute he also attested. 

20. " And, although some there were who favored not the 
building of the wall, was there any who made bold to say 
that it was not ' constitutional? ' Nay, not one. 

21. "Whether, therefore, the children of this generation 
be wiser to judge of the law than were their fathers who or- 
dained and interpreted it by word and deed, judge ye. 

23. "And, though they that have set their faces against 
protection, have sought to destroy the wall since my day, 
yet hath it been built anew time and again hitherto, by the 
Chief Council. 

23. "And what shall we say concerning the often decrees 
of the Areopagus, whereby it is declared that the Chief 
Council hath power to ordain, build and uphold the wall ? 

24. "Najs nay. Let no man say that the wall of protec- 
tion is forbidden by the supreme law of the land. 

25. "And they that speak contrarywise are foolish and 
love not their own countrj', but would break down the 
sheepfold and let the wolves come in and destroy the 
sheep." 

26. And the voice of James c«ased. 



CHAPTER XIX. 

GROYER HEARS DANIEL AND ANDREW SPEAK. 

•yHEN called Brother Jonathan upon Daniel who was of 

•* thfe lineage of interpreters of the law, and an advocate. 

2. And Daniel spake and said: "The tradition of our 



58 KING GROVEIt. 

fathers teacbetli that the supreme hiw of the land was made 
for the sure protection of the hiborer within their gates, re- 
specting his handicraft, against the hurtful competition of 
the stranger. 

3. "And this purpose, and the power of the law to com- 
pass the same, must never be yielded or betrayed in the 
least. 

4. "A small recompense of reward for labor hath often 
been tried. And behold the fruits thereof in Asia and 
Europe. 

5. "We know what those countries be, and the state of 
the people that dwell therein. 

6. "Moreover, we have witnessed the fruits of an abun- 
dant recompense given for labor ; and hath it not brouglit 
forth blessings to our people, hath it not wrought out unto 
them all the greatest happiness upon the face of the earth ? 

7. " Our fathers knew well the meaning of the doctrine of 
protection in their day. 

8. "And tradition teacheth that they taught everywhere 
in their assemblies, that without protection there could 
be no prosperity, neither could handicraft prosper in the 
laud. 

9. "Nor, indeed, is it possible for the cunning craftsman 
to flourish if he be not protected throughout the borders of 
all our land. 

10. "And behold, was not protection almost, nay entirely, 
the chief purpose, both in the Northland and in the South- 
land, for the making of the supreme law? 

11. "Neither would that law have been received by the 
people, but for the doctrine of protection." 

12. iVnd the voice of Daniel was silent ; but from every 
image in the chamber there came a voice sajiug: "Amen !" 

13. Then commanded Brother Jonathan that Andrew 
should speak. And Andrew spake and said : " Heaven 
smiled upon us and gave us freedom. 

14. "By that same Providence are we blessed with the 
means of national freedom and national defence. 

15. " If we receive not the gifts which lie hath extended 
unto us, then are we no longer worthy of Ilis blessing. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 59 

16. "He hath filled our mountains and our valleys with 
lead, iron and copper. 

17. "He hath set our habitation in a goodly land, abound- 
ing in plenty, fit for the growing of hemp and wool. 

18. "These be sure means of our defence, and xmto them 
men ought to extend rightful protection, lest the handi- 
craftsman and laborer of Europa obtain the advantage over 
them that are of like craft in our land. 

19. "And in time of war it must needs be that we have 
within our own land that which is needful for our defence. 

20. "Too long were we subject and beholden unto the 
reign of the merchants of Britannia. 

21. "The time is at hand when we should seek the good 
of our own, and cease to nourish the poor among the labor- 
ers in Brittania, lest by so doing we shall quickly become 
poor ourselves." 

23. Then ceased the voice of Andrew. 



CHAPTEK XX. 

HENEY AND OTHERS OF THE FATHERS TEACH THE KING. 

•yHEN spake Jonathan unto Henry and said: "Speak 
thou, and out of thine abundance of knowledge con- 
cerning this great matter teach this ruler of my children." 

2. And Henry spake and said : "Were I to choose seven 
years sithence the making of the supreme law of the land, 
when dreadful dismay and desolation was abroad in all the 
laud, I would choose that space of time immediately before 
the building of the Tariff wall iu the year one thousand 
eight hundred twenty and four. 

3. "Were I to choose seven j-ears wherein the greatest 
prosperitj- blest this people sithence the making of the su- 
preme law, I would choose the time following the building 
of that wall. 

4. "And can any man gainsay that all those things need- 
ful for the people within the shadow and protection of the 



60 KING GROVER. 

Tariff wall, whicli was built in the year one thousand eight 
hundred twenty and four, were bought for a less price than 
before. 

5. " I call upon all men everywhere to witness unto the 
truth of my speech. 

6. "I call upon the husbandman to testify unto the truth 
that he buyeth for a less price his iron, his salt, his sugar, 
his linen and woollen garments for his laborers. 

7. "And I ask him that planteth the cotton to testify unto 
the truth that for a less price doth he buy the bags where- 
into he putteth his cotton for the market. 

8. "And upon this fovmdation of small pi-ice and great ex- 
cellence of those things whereof we have need, I plant ray 
feet as upon a rock that cannot be moved. 

9. "A thousand inventions of men maybe tried to blot 
out this truth, but the truth will remain forever. 

10. "The woollen garments which were cast within the 
wall of protection that was built in the year one thousand 
eight hundred twenty and eight were sufficiently protected. 

11. "Thereby hath the handicraftsman of our own land 
been able to take full possession of our own market ; and 
now behold the triumphant effect thereof. 

12. " In my hand I hold a writing, made by an upright 
merchant, wherein the price of sundry merchandise is con- 
tained, and so it is, that the price thereof hath greatly fallen 
by reason of the establishment of our own handicraft within 
the wall." 

13. And again a voice from every image in the cave cried : 
"Amen, and Amen !" 

14. And in like manner spake voices also from the images 
of Lyman, the priest, and James, surnamed Monroe. 

15. Then spake Jonathan imto Thomas, surnamed Ewing, 
the Buckeye, and said: "Speak thou." And a voice from 
the image of Thomas spake and said : 

16. " The people of a land whose husbandry flourisheth, 
are the sure foundation of a nation that prosperetli. 

17. " Even so of our land, blest with broad and fruitful 
fields, watered with the early and tlie latter rain. 

18. "And with an eye single to enlarge the welfare of the 



CHKONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. Ql 

husbandman of the Occident, I gave mine aid in the build- 
ing of the wall of protection in the year one thousand eight 
hundred thirty and two. 

19. "Born and brought up in that part of our country 
which hath been hitherto, and now is given to husbandry, 
and knowing the condition of my people, I know also their 
wants and understand their necessities, and I shall essay to 
speak their language. 

20. "Our wisest merchants sought out every portion of 
the world, and all united furnished not a market sufficient 
to consume the excess of our corn. 

31. "Every husbandman in the Province of the Buckeyes 
knew for a long time the sore distress of this condition. 

23. " Often did their wheat perish unthreshed in the field 
because there was none to buy it. 

33. " And behold, were not forty bushels of wheat sold for 
' one pair of boots ?' 

34. " Such was the condition of the people in the land of 
the Occident before the renewing of the wall of protection 
in the year one thousand eight hundred twenty and four." 

35. And the voice of Thomas ceased. 

36. Then Jonathan commanded John Quincy to speak, and 
he spake and said : 

27. "The Tariff wall which was built in the year one 
thousand eight hundred forty and two hath wrought great 
wonders for the purposes whereunto it was ordained. 

38. "It was ordained to fill the Treasury with money, and 
to protect the people in their free labor. 

39. " Its promise hath been abundantly performed in gath- 
ering money into the Treasury. 

30. "The palsied credit of tlie nation hath been restored, 
and the coffers of the Treasury have been filled. 

31. "Money in abundance hath been gathered by reason 
thereof to pay the expenses daily, and also the debts of the 
Government which have, in part, been paid." 

32. Then said Jonathan unto James Abram, saying : "Thou 
art of this ruler's own generation, speak thou concerning 
this matter." 

33. And James said : " It was so when the wall of pro- 



62 KING GROVER. 

tection had been broken down in the year one thousand 
eight hundred forty and six, 

34. "And liad been brought into utter ruin in the year one 
thousand eight hundred fifty and seven, 

35. " That distress and calamity covered all the land, as 
do the waters the mighty deep. 

36. " Tlierefore, did the Chief Council bwild the wall again 
in the year one thousand eight hundred sixty and one. 

37. " And the sceptre passed from the hand of James, and 
was given unto Abraham, the faithful. 

38. " And the wall continued strong and sure imto the end 
of my days, nor cotdd the enemies thereof destroy it, though 
they often essayed to batter it down with the ram. 

39. "And the people greatly prospered in all the land by 
reason of the wall." 

40. Whereupon, King Grover, being no longer able to con- 
tain himself, cried out : ^^ Almost ye jwi'suade me to he a pro- 
tectionist.'''' 



CHAPTEE XXI. 

THE UKFArrHTDL KESTOEED. 



■yHEN spake Brother Jonathan unto James Gillespie, and 
said : "Thou my son, ever faithful and true, art witness 
concerning those things which have caused the distress and 
calamity of my children, which now is. 

2. "Speak thoxi, that this ruler may be instructed in 
knowledge and wisdom, if, peradventure, he may compre- 
hend, that he may have none excuse to continue in his 
folly." 

3. And a voice from the image of James spake, saj'ing : 
"The cause of the affliction of my brethren in the llesh is 
not of yesterda}- ; 

4. " But the root of the matter is laid deep in the hearts 
of them that were overthrown in the war between Abraham 
and Jeflerson. 

5. " It came to pass in the da3S when Abraham, the faith- 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. gg 

ful, had been slain with wicked hands, that Andrew, sur- 
named Johnson, niled in his stead. 

6. "(Now, this was he whose wife taught liim to read, 
and whose fame filled all the land wlien he ' swung around 
the circle.') 

7. "This Andrew came from the land of the Bourhons, 
and made great pretense how he loved his country. 

8. "And he breathed threatenings against them which had 
risen in rebellion against Abraham, saying: 'Treason must 
be made odious.' 

9. "But the rulers of the Southland, who had been con- 
quered in the war, knowing the vanity of Andrew, wliispered 
in his ear, saying : 

10. " 'Inasmuch as thou art no longer of low estate, but 
art ruler of this great people, thou art worthy to be received 
among us, and be counted with us, 

11. " 'Therefore, give ear xinto our counsel and do that 
which we entreat thee to do, and thou shalt be counted one 
of the great ones of the world, from generation to generation. 

12. "'And wdio shall withstand thee? For behold! art 
thou not the Chief Commander of all the army and all the 
ships of war ? 

13. " 'Therefore, seeing that we are aliens from the com- 
monwealth of the children of Brother Jonathan, by reason 
of our rebellion, 

14. " ' Go to now, and make an edict and receive us within 
the gates, lacking no wonted power. 

15. "'And, together with our brethren from the North- 
land, aided by thy great power, we shall again rule all the 
land.' 

16. " And these flattering sayings greatly pleased Andrew, 
and he w-rote an edict as he was entreated to do, and called 
it 'My Policy,' whereby he sought to restore the fallen rulers 
of the Southland within the gates, without repentance. 

17. "But the Chief Council would not consent thereto; 
and there was strife between Andrew and the Chief Council. 

18. "And when the strife waxed hot between Andrew and 
the Council, he threatened the Council, and harangued the 
people from the porch of the palace. 



64 KING GROVElt 

19. "Therefore, the Chief Council ordained a statute, over 
the forbidding voice of Andrew, wherewith tliey bound him 
hand and foot, that he could do no more mischief. 

20. "But from the day that Andrew promised to restore 
the fallen rulers of the Soutliland, they took courage and 
resolved to rule the laud again, and they invented mischiev- 
ous devices to compass their desire. 

21. "Now, when Andrew was bound and could not fulfil 
his promises concerning the restoration of the fallen rulers, 

22. " They pretended exceeding meekness and humility, 
and coming unto the Chief Council, they pointed to the 
waste condition of the Southland. 

23. "And pleaded that their transgression might be for- 
given, and that they might again be restored imto the House 
of Brother Jonathan. 

24. "Therefore, they that sat in the Chief Council, being 
mercifid and kind, answered them and said : ' Tea, verily ; 
be it unto joxi according to your desires, for we be brethren.' 

25. "And the Chief Council forgave them their transgres- 
sion, and received them again within the gates, only exact- 
ing from them an oath. 

2G. " And this was the oath : 'I do solemnly swear that I 
will support and defend the Constitution of the United States 
against all enemies, foreign and domestic ; that I will bear 
true faith and allegiance to the same ; that I take this obli- 
gation freely, without any mental reservation or purpose of 
evasion; and that I will well and faithfully discharge the 
duties of the office on which I am about to enter : so help 
me God.' 

27. "Now, when the war had ceased, the supreme law of 
the land was enlarged, and therein it was declared that if 
the right to cast lot at tlie hustings for ruler of the land, for 
men to sit in the Common Council, as also, for others who 
should exercise authority, be denied to any of the House of 
Brother Jonathan, then shall they to be chosen to authority 
be numbered less accordingly. 

28. "Also, that the right of none of the House of Brother 
Jonathan to cast lots shall be denied because of his lineage, 
his color, or his former condition of servitude. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 65 

29. "Now, so it was, that after those who had been for- 
given and had again been received within the gates, had 
promised to be at peace and to bnild up the waste places of 
their country, fulfilled not their promises. 

30. " But many of them moved with hatred and revenge 
went straightway and stirred up strife among the people 
within the borders of the Southland. 

31. "And took imto them certain lewd fellows of the 
baser sort, and gathered together companies and called 
them ' Ku-Klux,^ ' White League,^ ' Night Riders,'' ' Rifle 
Clubs,'' ' Best Citizens of Kemper County,'' and such like. 

83. "And they set all the country within their borders in 
an uproar, and assaulted and ill-treated men and women 
without mercy. 

33. "And many of them they beat with the lash, and 
thousands of them they murdered, crying as to some: 
' These have come among us from the Northland to eat of 
the fat of our land;' and as to others, 'these were oiir 
former bondmen and are now the friends of them that 
spoiled us in war.' 

34. " And they greatly troubled the people and the rulers 
of the children of Brother Jonathan. 

35. "And by these vile means did they subdue all the 
Southland xmto themselves, and they denied the rights of 
those within their borders who had been in bondage, not- 
withstanding that they had been made free by the decree 
of Abraham in the days of war, and their rights made sure 
by the supreme law of the land. 

36. "And their country they called ' The Solid South.'' 

37. "And so it was, in the year one thousand eight hun- 
dred eighty and four, that by fraudulent practices at the 
luistings in the City of Gotham joined unto the Solid South, 
they declared this man to be chosen ruler of the children of 
Brother Jonathan." 

38. (" Tea,'" cried a voice from the image of that other 
Benjamin, '^and tJieir purpose they accomplished by falsely 
counting ^mto him the lots that had been cast for me at the 
hustings.") 

39. "And inasmuch as the Select Council was not with 



gg KING GROVER. 

this man Grover chiring the time of his first reign, he was 
not able to do much mischief. 

40. " And many people who were not of his sect gave him 
the praise, because the}' prospered during his reign. And 
by their help was he chosen a second time. 

41. "But behold the change ! Then was he ruler without 
power. Now he is a ruler with power. 

42. "The 'Brigadiers' of the Southland sit in the Chief 
Council and ordain the statutes, and in the ' King's Council' 
sit the enemies against the Northland. 

43. "And the spirit of bondage that ruled the nation be- 
fore the war, is the same that reigneth now. 

44. "And because they that rebelled and sought to de- 
stroy the nation were overthrown in battle, therefore, do 
they seek revenge against the Northland. 

45. "And they have resolved to break down the wall of 
protection which was builded a generation ago, and which 
hath been a shield unto the children of Brother Jonathan 
imto this day. 

46. "Around the borders of the Northland do they seek 
to break it down, that the spoiler from foreign lands may 
enter and eat out the substance of the land. 

47. "But the wall around the borders of the Southland they 
will not destroy, but that they will keep and strengthen." 

48. And the voice of James ceased. 



CHAPTEE XXn. 

ABRAHAM AND GEORGE TEACH GROVER. 

•yilEN spake Brother Jonathan unto Abraham, saying : 
^ " Thou who wert unjustly reviled in thy day, but whom 
all men have learned to praise, speak out of the abundance 
of thine heart. " 

2. And a voice from the image of Abraham said : " In the 
days when thy servant and Stephen went to and fro and up 
and down in the land of the Suckers, thy servant was wont 
to say that 'a house divided against itself cannot stand.' 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 67 

3. "In those days the rulers of the Southland sou2;ht to 
compel all men of the Northland to obey and submit them- 
selves unto the powers of bondage. 

4. "Unto this yoke thy children of the Northland woidd 
not submit, and there was an ' Irrepressible conflict' between 
the two parts of thy country. 

5. "And great was the concern of thy servant respecting 
the unity of thy children of all the Provinces of the land. 

6. "Therefore, when the sceptre was given into the hands 
of thy servant, and the rulers of the Southland rebelled 
against the Government, thy servant called unto them say- 
ing : 

7. " 'In 3'our hands, my dissatisfied fellow-coimtrymen, 
and not in mine, are the momentous issues of civil war. The 
Government will not assail you. 

8. "'You can have no conflict without being yourselves 
the aggressors. You have no oath registered in heaven to 
destroy the Government ; while I shall have the most solemn 
one to preserve, protect and defend it. 

9. " ' I am loth to close. We are not enemies, but friends. 
We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strain- 
ed, it must not break our bonds of affection. 

10. " 'The mj'stic cord of memory, stretching from every 
battle field and patriot grave to every living heart and 
hearthstone all over this broad land, will j-et swell the chorus 
of the Union, when again touched, as surely they will be, by 
the better angles of our nature.' 

11. "But they refused to hearken, and pulled away the 
shoulder, and stopped their ears that they should not hear. 

12. "Yea, they made their hearts as an adamant stone, 
lest they should hear the voice of thy servant's pleading 
with them. 

13. "And they made war against the Government, and five 
hundred thousand of the flower of the land were slain. 

14. " And four billions and eight hundred millions shekels 
of treasure were consumed. 

15. "And all the land was filled with mourning, and the 
people sat in sackcloth and ashes, because of the great 
slaughter ; and all this ' that Government of the people, by 



68 KING GROVER. 

the people, and for the people, shall not perish from the 
earth.' 

16. " And thy servant was glad, and rejoiced with exceed- 
ing great joy when the end came, and the war ceased, and 
the laud of our fathers was one and was not divided. 

17. "And when the bondmen were no longer bound in 
chains, but were free. And all they that loved their coun- 
try rejoiced. 

18. "But it seemeth that the rulers of the Scuthland have 
already forgotten the terrible fruits of their wickedness and 
folly." 

19. And when the voice of Abraham ceased, a voice from 
the image of Ulysses spake and said : 

20. "Yea, verily; the folly of them that sought to over- 
throw the Government, after they had feigned humility, was 
turned into hatred and crime. 

21. "And after they had done great wickedness during 
the reign of Andrew, and had murdered man}- people within 
the borders of the Southland, I called unto them and said -. 
' Let us have peace.' 

23. " But there was no peace, and they persevered in their 
wickedness." And the voice of Ulysses ceased. 

23. Then spake Brother Jonathan unto George, sajang : 
" Thou my son, who art always truthful, and canst not tell 
a lie, speak concerning the things that are needful to make 
my children prosperous and happy." ) 

24. And from the image of George in the pillar there 
came a voice, saying: "When, in the fullness of years, I 
beheld, in the distance, tlie glory of my country which was 
to come, and when I said unto my brethren, fare-ye-well, 

25. "I ceased not my prayers that Heaven might con- 
tinue xmto them the choicest tokens of its beneficence — 

20. " That their union and brotherly affection might con- 
tinue forever — 

27. "That the free constitutions, which was the work of 
their hands, might be sacredly maintained — 

28. "That the administration thereof miglit everywhere 
be attended with wisdom and virtue. 

29. "That finally, the happiness of the people of these 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. gQ 

Commonwealths in the light of liberty, might be made com- 
plete, that theirs should be the glory of offering the same 
unto every nation which is yet a stranger unto it. 

30. "Moreover, I earnestly enjoined that they should hold 
dear the unity of the Government, as the chief pillar in the 
edifice of their true liberty, their quietude, their peace 
abroad, their safety and prosperity. 

31. "Nor should there be any North or any South ; any 
East or any West ; but one country, all in all. 

32. "Neither ought the spirit of party rise above the love 
of country, nor should there be any spirit of envy or re- 
venge, but the love of country should be over all. 

33. "And I commended unto the constant care and watch- 
fulness of the people, that no men of cunning, filled with vain 
ambition might be able to overthrow the power of the people 
by usurpation and raise themselves to unjust dominion. 

34. "Nor should the door to foreign craft or corruption be 
opened to find lodgment with the Government itself through 
party passions, lest the will of the people become subject 
unto the wnll of strangers. 

35. "And likewise, he that exerciseth the powers of his 
office in the Government, must continue within the lawful 
bounds thereof, avoiding usurpation, the which leadeth to 
despotism." And the voice of the Father of his Country 
ceased. 

36. And lo ! a band of soldiers from another chamber of 
the cave came and marched hard by where the King sat. 

37. And Brother Jonathan pointing to the footprints of 
the soldiers as they passed, said Tmto the King : 

38. "Behold the blood in the prints of your fathers' feet 
upon the ice and snow which they endured that my country 
might be free. 

39. "Now hearken unto me and understand, that the 
rulers of the Southland which have been restored unto 
power in the government among my children have not 
ceased to worship the great dragon. 

40. "Neither is the dragon dead, but by his subtil nature 
is transformed and ruleth in the hearts of them that wor- 
ship him. 



70 KING GKOVER. 

41. " And the rulers of the Southland have resolved to be 
revenged, and to lay waste the Northland. 

42. " Neither have they forgotten that they and their fath- 
ers were subdued before the army of the Northland iu the 
days of Abraham. 

43. "Nor do they consent unto the doctrine of thy fathers, 
that all men are equal before the law ; 

44. "But they hold fast to the doctrine, that he that labor- 
eth with his hands ought to be the servant of him that 
ruleth. 

45. "Therefore, do they seek to break down the wall of 
protection, that all they that labor within the borders of my 
land may be brought to the like condition of them that serve 
their masters iu foreign lauds. 

4G. "And unto thi^ end have they deceived thee and caused 
thee to do their will, and thereby hath this great evil been 
brought upon my children. 

47. "Go to now, therefore, and separate thyself from the 
rulers of the Southland, and hearken unto the counsel of 
them who love their country, from the Northland. 

48. "Touch not the wall of protection, called Tariff, but 
preserve it; and surely this great evil will speedily pass 
away." 

49. And in the twinkling of an eye the light in the cave 
was extinct. 

50. And when Brother Jonathan had led the King by an- 
other way out of the cave, the King turned to speak unto 
him, but lo, he had vanished. 



CHAPTER XXm. 

KING GEOVEE CALLS THE WISE MEN. 

A^^ it came to pass when King Grover had returned to 
his city, and was come into his palace, that his spirit 
was troubled ; 

2. And he sent and called for all the magicians and the 
soothsaj'ers of the Southland, and all the wise men, the as- 



CHRONICLES OP HIS REIGN. 7;^ 

trologers and rainbo-w-chasers of his party, and told them 
the visions which he had seen. 

3. Then began they of the Southland with one voice to 
upbraid the King, because he went alone into the mountains 
of Berkshire. 

4. Saying : " Did not thy kinsmen of the Southland name 
thee to be chosen King the second time; wherefore didst 
thou go into the land of our enemies who helped to conquer 
us in war ?" 

5. But the King was displeased with their chidings, and 
said unto them that he had not called them that they should 
upbraid him — 

6. That the voice of the fathers which he heard in the 
cave, forbade the destruction of the Tariff wall, 

7. And their counsel seemed good unto him, and there- 
fore, he had called his friends that they might counsel witli 
him what he should do, 

8. "Whereupon, when a murmur had arisen among the 
magicians, the soothsayers and wise men, they said unto 
the King : 

9. '' Surely, the days of visions and dreams are past, and 
by vain imaginings of thy head thou art deceived. No 
vision hath appeared imto thee." 

10. And the King was troubled the more, because he 
feared that some dread malady had befallen him in the 
mountains, and that the vision was not true. 

11. And some of the wise men said unto the King that he 
was deceived by the effect of the scientific gas-bag of which 
he had smelt while he was yet upon the sea. 

12. Others said that he must liave fallen asleep on the 
mountains of Berkshire and dreamed a dream. 

13. Biit Hokesmith, the overgrown boy of the King's 
Council, whose father spared the rod and spoiled the child, 
and who had read all the law of the Areopagus, and of the 
High Court of Georgia, ere any man employed him as his 
advocate, said unto the King : 

14. " Hast thou not read in thine encyclopedia, that there 
were witches in the land of Massachusetts iu the ancient 
days of that Province ? 



72 KING GROVER. 

15. " And no man can tell but that the witches of those 
clays were banished to the caves in tlie mountains of Berk- 
shire, where they have since been held in chains, and that 
these gat hold of thee and bewitched thee and deceived 
thee concerning this matter. 

16. "Surely, the world cannot be ruled by visions and 
dreams as it was wont to be in the days of old. 

17. " Wherefore my sentence is, that thou, O, King, didst 
not see a vision in the mountains, and that the fathers spake 
not unto thee as thou dost vainly imagine, but that thou 
Avert bewitched." 

18. Likewise, others of the magicians and wise men 
spake and gave their sentence, one saying one thing and an- 
other another thing. 

19. But John, the Griffin, Lord of the King's Treasury, sat 
in a corner, in the seat of the scornful, and opened not his 
thin lips. 

30. And the King spake unto him saying: "Wherefore 
dost thou not speak and give unto thy master thy sen- 
tence concerning these things, that he may profit by thy 
counsel ? 

21. " Knowest thou not that ' in the multitude of counsel- 
lors there is safety V " 

22. And John answered and said: "Let not thy wrath be 
kindled against thy servant, O, King, for it was the desire of 
mine heart that these should speak first. 

23. " But let not the King be deceived, but rather hearken 
unto the words of his servant. 

24. " They that tarry long at the wine whereof tlie King 
drank ere he went into the mountains of Berkshire, have 
vain thoughts, dream dreams and imagine that they see 
strange visions. 

25. "Tlicrefore, the sentence of thy servant is, that it was 
the wine which the King drank that caused Inm to imagine 
a vain thing, and that no vision appeared unto him." 

26. And all the magicians, the soothsayers, the astrolo- 
gers and the wise men said, "Amen !" 

27. And the King believed John and said : " Now I know 
of a certaint}' that I saw no vision and heard not the 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 73 

voice of the fathers in the cave, and that ye are my friends 
indeed. 

28. "Command, therefore, what ye will, and it shall be 
done, even to the half of my kingdom." 



CHAPTEE XXIV. 

THE WISE MEN COUNSEL THE KING. 

TTHEREFORE, did the magicians, the soothsayers, the as- 
trologers and wise men take counsel together what they 
should ask of the King. 

3. And they said unto him, "Remember that in the daj's 
when thou wert named to be ruler the second time, thy peo- 
ple from thine own Province were against thee. 

3. "And by the wisdom and greater craftiness of thy ser- 
vants from the Southland, thou wert named in the assembly. 

4. "And behold, is the Chief Council not in our hands, 
that we may do as we will ? 

5. "Now, hearken unto our voice, O, King, and let us 
make a covenant with thee, that we may be one, and be not 
divided in this business. 

6. "We are the rulers and do exercise authority in all the 
Southland, and no man sayeth us nay, and we have likewise 
returned to the reign of our fathers in all the land. 

7. "And we have not forgotten the doctrine and practices 
of our fathers, neither have we learned any new thing since 
their day, 

8. "Now, therefore, let us return unto the ways of our 
fathers of the Southland, and walk therein, that tlie ancient 
days may be restored. 

9. " They taught us in their day that it is not good that 
the laborer be free, but rather that he should be owned by 
his master. 

10. "Therefore, did they hold in bondage them that labor- 
ed with their hands, which were Ethiopians. 

11. " And them that labored and were not Ethiopians, they 
called 'white trash.' 



74 KING GROYER. 

12. "And in the days when Abraham was ruler over the 
people, he mude an edict and proclamation, and broke the 
bonds of our laborers in the Southland and set them free. 

13. "And the husbandmen, the laborers, and they that 
were skilled in handicraft in the Northland became armed 
soldiers in Abraham's army in those days, and they fought 
against us. 

14. " And the money changers and they that made much 
goods and merchandise in all the Northland gave of their 
abundance that we might be conquered. 

15. " Now, therefore, are we resolved what we will do ? 

16. " Behold, the Ethiopian in the Southland whose bonds 
were broken by Abraham ; is he free ? 

17. "And the white man that laboreth with his hands 
within our borders ; dolh he receive a great price for his 
labor? 

18. " Nay, verily, but these are subject unto us, and they 
all labor for a small price. 

19. " But behold, the laborer and the handicraftsman of 
the Northland, is he not free, and doth he not receive a 
great price for his hire ? 

20. "Is he subject unto any master to obey him in all 
things ? 

21. " Nay, verily, but he goeth whithersoever he listeth, 
and he boasteth of his freedom, yea he goeth unto his own 
house and sitteth under his own vine and lig tree. 

22. " And no man dare molest or make him afraid. 

23. " Now, these things ought not so to be. All they that 
labor with their hands in all the land ought to receive equal 
recompense for like labor. 

24. " And lo, did not James, surnamed Buchanan, sa}' in 
his day, that ten pennies was a sufficient recompense for a 
day's labor ? 

25. " But so it is that within the wall of protection, the 
laborer, the handicraftsman and husbandman of the North- 
land doth greatl}' prosper, and obeyoth no master. 

2G. "Now, therefore, this do, O, King: compel the Chief 
Council to ordain an edict, prepared for thy superscription 
whereby the Tariff wall shall be reformed. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 75 

27. " And this shall be the reformation thereof; that part 
round about the borders of the Northland shall be razed ; 
yea it shall be destroyed, even unto the foundations thereof. 

28. "Neither shalt thou be slow, but swift, to execute 
vengeance upon him who would not obey thy commands to 
destroy it. 

29. "But that part round about the borders of the Southland 
shall not be razed, but shall be strengthened and made sure. 

30. We do also demand that the people of the Northland 
be compelled to pay the soldiers of Abraham, their widows 
and orphans, their stipend every month, and that we be re- 
lieved from the payment thereof. 

31. "Wherefore, we demand that all men within the bor- 
ders of all the land, whose income exceedeth the sum of six 
thousand and four hundred shekels, shall be taxed upon the 
excess thereof. 

33. "Whereby we of the Southland will escape the pay- 
ment of the tax; save, peradveuture, the five one-hundredths 
part thereof. And they of the Northland must pay the other 
part. 

33. "Then will our desire for vengeance against them that 
spoiled us and our fathers in war be satisfied. 

34. "Because the strangers from foreign lands shall enter 
in and possess the Northland and the markets thereof, and 
shall utterly spoil the prosperity thereof. 

35. "And the people of the Southland shall be able to 
traffic with the strangers and thereby get great gain unto 
themselves." 

36. And the King answered and said: "All these things 
shall be done according to your desire, and even more will 
I do. 

37. " For I will cause all the flocks of sheep upon a thou- 
sand hills to be slain, that there be no more wool in the 
land — 

38. " That they who dwell in the cold of the Northland be 
compelled to buy wool from foreign lands— even from Aus- 
tralia, which, aforetime, was called New Holland, far be- 
yond Farther India, and from Argentina, the nethermost 
parts of South America. 



76 KIXG GROVEIi. 

39. " Yea, they shall be subject and beholden unto Britan- 
nia and unto the stranger for the very garments which they 
wear, and for the cover of the beds whereon they sleep. 

40. " And in time of war they shall have no flocks from 
whose wool they can clothe the soldier for the field of battle, 
nor wherewithal to make his bed in the field. 

41. "All these things shall be done for your sake, because 
ye have asked it, and also, that ye may be avenged upon 
them that conquered j'ou in war." 

43. And when the Chief Council had ordained a statute 
that no more shekels of silver be made, they departed and 
went unto their own homes. 



CHAPTEE XXV. 

KEGULAK SESSION OF THE CHZEF COUNCIL. 

A KD it came to pass, in the twelfth month on the fourth 
day of the month in the same year, that the Chief Coun- 
cil again assembled, 

2. And Charles Fredrick, from the Province of Georgia, 
whose surname was Crisp, which is, being interpreted, a 
turning in and out, winding or crooked, was ruler of the 
Common Council. 

3. And, according to the custom of the fathers, Charles 
appointed the committees of the Common Council. 

4. And the name of the committee that must needs con- 
sider the matter of the destruction of the Tariff wall was, 
" Committee on Ways and Means." 

5. By this name did the fathers call it from the beginning 
of the Government. And great was the power of this com- 
mittee. 

6. And the rulers of the Southland and the King greatly 
desired that the greater number of this committee should be 
of men that knew least of the matter which they must con- 
sider, lest tliey might refuse to obey the King. 

7. Therefore, laying aside the names of Cockran, the 



CHRONICLES OP HIS REIGN. 77 

Taramanyite ; Bynum, the Hoosierite ; Reed, of the Pine 
Tree Province ; Burrows, the Michigander, and Dalzell, of 
the Province of Penn's shady woods, 

8. Charles, ihe ruler of the Common Council, went to the 
villages in the wilderness of the Provinces of West Virginia, 
Tennessee, Georgia, Kentucky, Michigan, Nebraska, Arkan- 
sas and Missouri, and called thence the greater number of 
this committee. 

9. Now, many of these knew not the meaning of the word 
" mill," save that it meant the stone whereon they saw the 
women of the aborigines grind their corn. 

10. Neither did they understand the meaning of the word 
"shop," save that it meant the smithy by the wayside where- 
in they saw their father's asses shod. 

11. And William, surnamed Wilson, from the wilderness 
of West Virginia, whom they called professor, or pretender, 
was made chief of tliis "Committee on Ways and Means." 

13. And so it was that William counseled with the King 
and with John, the Griffin, the King's Lord of the Treasury, 
concerning the destruction of the Tariff wall. 

13. And William also counseled with the men of his own 
sect that sat in the committee with him. 

14. But he deigned not to counsel with them that sat in 
the committee which w^ere not of his sect, nor did he tell 
them of his doings with the King and the Lord of his 
Treasury. 

15. So that the name of this " Committee on Ways and 
Means" was fitly changed to " Committee of Mean Ways." 

16. And when William had finished the bill for the de- 
struction of the Tariff w^all, and for the taxing of the peo- 
ple of the Northland, an^ the King had approved it, it was 
submitted to be appro-^^d also by the Common Council. 

17. And many there were in the Council who held not 
their peace, but cried out against the bill. 

18. And among them that spake against it was Bourke, 
the Tammanyite, who, from his seat in the Coimcil made 
an oration unto them, saying this bill ought not to be ap- 
proved. 

19. And as in the days of Herod in the land of Judea, so, 



78 KING GROVER. 

likewise, " the people gave a shout, saying, it is the voice of 
a god, and not of a man." 

20. And others of the King's sect in the Common Coxmcil 
also spake against the bill. 

21. But when all had spoken according to the number al- 
lowed by the King's decree, the clock in the King's tower 
struck; and Bourke, the Tammanyite, and the others of the 
King's sect in tlie Common Council, sang "Cuckoo!" And 
the bill was approved. 

22. And the King clapped his hands and shouted for joy. 

23. Now, William, the chief of this " Committee of Mean 
Ways" was not a strong man, neither was he a great man. 

24. And he had not slept for many days and nights, lest 
his bill should be cast out and not be approved by the Com- 
mon Council. 

2o. But it came to pass that when the bill was approved, 
that the common people of the whole land proclaimed 
against it. 

26. And when William saw the anger of the people, and 
was told what havoc this bill would make in the land, he 
grew sick. 

27. Therefore, desiring to obtain peace and be at rest for 
a season, he journeyed into a far country, and lodged in the 
city of Montezuma. 

28. And the people of the city of Montezuma spake in a 
strange tongue, and William understood not what they said. 
So he was at rest concerning the clamor land the tumult 
among the people of his own country respecting this bill. 



CHAPTER XXVI. 

THE BILL SENT TO SELECT COUNCIL. 

•THEN was the bill for the destruction of the wall sent 
imto the Select Council. 
2. And the Select Council gave it unto the "Committee on 
Finance," for to be considered. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 79 

3. And lo, there was no small dissension concerning the 
bill araong them of the Select Council that sat in the com- 
mittee. 

4. For so it was that many of them that sat in the Select 
Council would not consent unto the bill as the same had been 
approved by the Common Council. 

5. And divers of them that sat in the Select Coimcil made 
orations of prodigious length, some favoring, and others 
condemning the bill. 

6. And like unto a hen that hatcheth her yoimg, so the 
" Committee on Finance" sat brooding over the bill. 

7. Therefore, great was the delay ere it was returned unto 
the Select Council by the committee. 

8. And the King was wroth because of the delay in the 
■work, and because of the orations which were being made 
in the Council against the bill. 

9. But when they that spake against it would not yield, 
then it was that the King spake unto the King's Council, 
saying: " Speak ye unto the committee, and let the bill be 
mended ; 

10. "Whereby the wrath of them that are against it may 
be appeased, and they become our friends." 

11. And John, the Griffin, the King's Lord of the Treasury, 
did as he was commanded, sajnng unto the committee : 
" Mend the bill, with bright colors, in such manner that ye 
gain enough of them that are against it, that it may be ap- 
proved." 

12. "Wherefore, the committee made four hundred new 
pieces wherewith to mend the bill. 

13. And they forgat that it was written of old: " No man 
also seweth a piece of new cloth on an old garment ; else 
the new piece that filled it up taketh away from the old, and 
the rent is made worse." 

14. For so it was, that when the committee brought the 
bill into the Select Council and they sewed the new pieces 
thereupon, it was like tmto Joseph's coat of divers colors. 

15. And when William returned from the city of Monte- 
zuma and beheld his bill, he lifted up his voice and wept, 
because he knew it not. 



80 KING GEOVER, 

IC. Then -svas the fury of the King kindled afresh, and 
again he rent his garments and smote his breast with his 
fists, and he stamped npon the floor in his wrath so tliat the 
whole palace shook. 

17. And lie breathed out threatenings and dire calamities 
against them of the Select Council which spake against this 
bill. 

18. Saying: "Unto the Chief Council have I piped, and 
they have not danced. 

19. "I sent unto them my Hornblower, and his horn they 
took from him and break it or ever he could blow it, and 
cast him out, 

20. "Then I sent unto them another, to Peck 'em (Peck- 
ham), but him they reviled, and slew withoxit mercy. 

21. "Now, therefore, will I 'master^ them; yea I will 
' knock them doipn and trample upon tliera ;' 

22. " I will ' thrust them into the inner prison and prevent 
them from pernicious actimty,'' and I will make ' their feet 
fast in the stocks of innocuous desuetude.^ 

23. ''Yea, I will — wh-o-o-o-h /" And the sound of his voice 
was like that of a roaring lion, because of his exceeding 
great fury against the Select Council. 

24. But many of the King's sect that sat in the Select 
Council feared not the King, neither did the work in their 
hands upon the bill prosper. 

25. And the common people of the King's sect said unto 
the Select Council, "Why hasten j-e not the work upon the 
bill ?" But no man answered them. 



CHAPTER XXVn. 

MOLOCH, THE SUGAR KING. 



A ND it came to pass in the days before Grover was chosen 
ruler the second time, that he spake smooth words 
unto the people thaf he might find favor in their sight. 

2. And the people said, "This man is 'better than his 
party;' therefore will we make him ruler the second time." 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 3^ 

3. Moreover, certain rich men that dwelt in the city of 
Gotham in those clays, and which were of the King's sect, 
gave eight hundred thousand shekels of silver tliat Qrover 
might be again chosen ruler. 

4. And they that gave this money were refiners of sugar, 
and the money was paid to make themselves friends of the 
mammon of unrighteousness ; that they might not fail when 
Grover and his sect should rule over the people. 

5. But so it was that w-hen Grover had come into his 
kingdom, and when the Common Council approved the bill 
for the destruction of the Tariff wall, that the sugar refiners 
of Gotham were much displeased, because the Common 
Council provided not for them. 

6. And there arose a great murmur among the refiners 
against the King and the Council. 

7. Therefore, after the bill had been sent into the Select 
Council and was lodged in the hands of the Committee of 
Finance, the refiners sent messengers into the King's city. 

8. And the messengers said unto them that sat in the com- 
mittee: " Ye are not faithful to perform the promise which 
was made unto us when we gave our money that Grover 
might be again chosen ruler, 

9. " Therefore, have we come to demand that ye fulfil the 
promise, lest we help to rend your bill in twain, and utterly 
prevent the Select Council from approving it." 

10. And the King and his Council knew that the messen- 
gers from the refiners of sugar, from the City of Gotham, 
were in the King's city, and that they murmured against 
them. 

11. And there was no small stir among the King's sect 
concerning this matter. 

12. For there was much running to and fro between the 
King's Coxincil and the committee. 

13. And they were in a great strait what they should do, 
and the King was greatly troubled. 

14. And he counselled in secret with Clauss, the Teuton, 
whose surname was Spreckels, which is, by interpretation, 
lord of sweetness, for he had great possessions in the land 
of Honey-lulu. 



82 KING GROVEK. 

15. Now, this ^s•as not he that is sometimes called Santa 
Clanss, the great fricud of good children at yule tide, 
neither was he an Israelite in whom there is no guile. 

16. And it came to pass in the year one thousand eight 
hundred ninety and four, in the fifth month of the year, that 
the King walked in his garden in the cool of the day. 

17. And being wearj', he sat down imder the shadow of 
the magnolia that bloomed. 

18. And the scent of the magnolia's blossom was exceed- 
ing sweet ; yea it was sweeter than the scent of the wine of 
Lebanon. 

10. And the grass of the garden, and the shrubs and trees 
thereof were blooming. 

20. And the balmy breezes from the south which fanned 
the King's brow, were laden with the sweet perfume of ten 
thousand flowers, and the garden was altogether lovely. 

21. And the King slept in the seat wherein he sat, and he 
dreamed a dream. And behold a large inn in the King's city. 

22. And the name of the inn was the Arlington ; and iu 
the inn were manj' chambers, and men went in and out, and 
to and fro therein. 

23. Now, among them that went iu and oxit were some 
that sat in the Committee on Finance, and some that sat in 
the Select Council. 

24. And some of them that sat in the committee entered 
not at the open door of the inn, but by a hidden door. 

2-5. And the}' held their hands on their mouths when they 
went into the inn, and also when they came out. 

26. They spake not a word, but went their way. 

27. Now among them that were in the inn was one whom 
the King knew, for he had often seen him aforetime in the 
City of Gotham. 

28. And by his countenance it appeared that this man was 
not pleased, but was angry. And the King awoke from his 
dream. 

29. But, straightway, the King sl.ept again and dreamed a 
second time; and behold, the house of Calvin Stewart, sur- 
uamed Brice, which was hard by the garden where the King 
sat. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. §3 

30. (Now, Calvin sat in the Select Coimcil, and he dwelt 
in the City of Gotham, bnt spake in the Conncil for the 
Province of the Bnckeyes.) 

31. And lo, Bourke, tlie Tammanyite, that sat in the Com- 
mon Conncil ; Donelson, snrnamed Caflfery, and Edward 
Donglass, snrnamed White, the two Pelicanites; Arthnr P., 
snrnamed Gorman, which is, by interpretation, the lean Cas- 
sius, who is dangerous because he thinketh too much, and 
divers other persons which sat in the Select Council ; and 
these all congregated at the house of Calvin. 

32. And there were gathered also these : Brice's Terrell, 
a certain Reed, from the City of Gotham, that was broken, 
and William II. , surnamed Havemeyer. And this is he whom 
the King knew when he saw him in the inn. 

33. And these all held their hands on their mouths when 
they departed from the house of Calvin, and went their way. 
And the King awoke a second time. 

34. But. straightway, the King slept again and dreamed a 
third time ; and lo, he stood in the land of Gotham. 

35. And behold, Moloch, the god of the Ammonites, sit- 
ting, like a king upon a throne. 

36. And at the foot of the throne there was a boiling cal- 
dron. And many of them that sat in the Select Council 
which were of the King's sect, were gathered around the 
caldron. 

37. And they had spoons in their hands, the which were 
of divers length, according to their several appetites, and 
they sought to dip their spoons into the caldron that they 
might feast on the sweetness. 

38. But they were afraid, lest they shoiild burn their fin- 
gers. Therefore, they ran hither and thither around the 
caldron, seeking some secret way to dip their spoons there- 
into. 

39. And John, the Griffin, King Grover's Lord of tlie 
Treasury, stood near the throne of Moloch having a very 
great spoon in his hands. 

40. And behold ! the tax-gatherers which had been sent 
out by John, the Griffin, into all the regions of the land 
everywhere, to gather taxes from the people upon the sugar 



84 KING GROVER. 

whereof all bad need to prepare their food ; and these 
brought the mone}'' which they had gathered, and cast it at 
the feet of John. 

41. Now, there were great heaps of silver and gold which 
were cast at the feet of John by the tax-gatherers. 

43. And it came to pass when Moloch had opened his 
mouth, that John, the King's Lord of the Treasury, with his 
great spoon, cast all the gold and silver which lay at his feet 
into Moloch's prodigious maw, and yet he cried for more. 

43. And King Grover was sore afraid of Moloch, and 
durst not say him nay. And he awoke from his dream. 



CHAPTEK XXVm. 

THE KENG's dream INTERPRETED. 

^OW, when the King had come into his palace, his spirit 
was much troubled within him, and he called the 
King's Council. 

2. And when the Council was met he told them his dream 
which he had in the garden, and besought them to interpret 
unto him the meaning thereof. 

3. Because of his exceeding innocence in such matters he 
understood not its meaning. 

4. But all they that sat in the King's Council began with 
one accord to make excuse, feigning to be ignorant, also, of 
this meaning of his dream. 

5. And the King greatly feared to call the astrologers, the 
soothsayers, the sorcerers and wise men, because of the 
ominous presence of John, the Griffin, with Moloch which 
appeared unto him in the dream. 

6. And straightway he commanded that no man should 
reveal his dream, lest some great evil should befall him and 
his reign. 

7. But in due season, the King's dream was secretly re- 
vealed, and the report thereof came to the knowledge of 
divers of the scribes of the heralds in the land. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. gg 

8. And so it was that these scribes had, also, the gift of 
divination and conld interpret dreams. 

9. But the King called not these scribes, neither did his 
Council consent that they should be called, lest the interpre- 
tation of the dream, and the revelation thereof, Avould 
create a tumult and disturbance among the people. 

10. But the heralds of the land, being faithful, suffered 
not that the King's dream and the interpretation thereof 
should be hid. 

11. And among the scribes of the heralds there was one, 
Elijah Jay, surnamed Edwards, which is, by interpretation, 
Holland. And he was scribe for two great heralds — one of 
them in the City of Gotham, and the other in the City of 
Brotherly Love. 

12. And it came to pass, in the fifth month, on the four- 
teenth day of the month, that Elijah stood upon the walls of 
Columbia. 

13. And having the power of divination, and the spirit of 
interpretation being upon him, he cried in a loud voice unto 
the children of Brother Jonathan, and unto all the inhabit- 
ants of the land, saying : 

14. " Woe, woe, unto the children of Brother Jonathan ! 
For the power of their government hath been betrayed into 
the hands of Moloch, which sitteth, like a king upon a 
throne, and whose maw is insatiate. 

15. "Behold, King Grover hath dreamed a dream, (and 
he told the King's dream unto the people), hearken, there- 
fore, all ye inhabitants of the land unto the interpretation 
thereof. 

16. "This Moloch which the King saw in his dream, is 
none other than the giant Sugar Trust, which is sweeter than 
honey and the honeycomb in the moiiths of the King and 
his friends, but in their bellies it shall turn to the bitterness 
of gall. 

17. "And behold! the power of this Moloch extendeth 
over all the land, and unto all the ends of the earth. 

18. " And his messengers hath he sent into the city of yoxir 
King, that they might compel them that sit in the Chief 
Council to fall down and worship him. 



86 KING GKOVER. 

19. "It was said of old: 'Wheresoever the carcass is, 
there will the eagles be gathered together.' 

20. "Likewise, wheresoever the messengers of Moloch be 
in the King's city, be it in the inn, or at the house of Calvin, 
there be gathered together many of them that sit in the Chief 
Council. 

21. "And where the sweet smelling savor of the sugar 
ascendeth from the boiling caldron by the throne of Moloch, 
there do many that sit in the Select Council gather with 
spoons in their hands to dip from the caldron and feast upon 
the sweetness. 

22. "Whereby these are persuaded to approve the bill 
which is ordained for the destruction of the Tariff wall, and 
to be a plague unto this people. 

23. "For it was John, the Griffin, the King's Lord of the 
Treasury, who made the new piece that was sewed upon this 
bill whereby this Moloch derives his power. 

24. "And it is that same Lord of the Treasury, whose in- 
terpretatiou of the bill, when it hath become a law, will bind 
all the people of the laud. 

25. "And John, the Griffin, Lord of the Treasury, will 
send out tax gatherers into all the land, and these will com- 
pel the people, from the smallest even unto the greatest, to 
pay a tax upon all the sugar which the people must needs 
have for food. 

26. "And the money thus gathered by extortion from the 
poor will be cast at the feet of the King's Lord of the 
Treasury, and he will cast it into the insatiate maw of this 
Moloch. 

27. "And there will be gathered two shekels of silver from 
every man, woman and child ; and the sum thereof will be 
one hundred and thirty million shekels. 

28. "And every year thereafter will fifty million shekels 
more be gathered from the people, and cast into Moloch's 
maw. 

29. "Woe, woe, unto the daughter of Columbia ! For in 
the house of her fathers is she dishonored, and her garments 
are defiled by the watclimeu that are set upon her walls. 

30. " And her birthright is being sold by her guardians for 



CHRONICLES OP UlS REIGN. gj 

a mess of sugar, which they seek to dip witli spoons from 
the boiling caldron set at the foot of Moloch's throne. 

31. "And behold, on the Sabbath day, in the King's city, 
in the temple wherein the Chief Council was wont to sit, 
were met together in a room, they that sat in the Commit- 
tee of Finance, which were of the King's sect. 

33. "And in a wing of the temple were met together also, 
William H., surnamed Havemeyer, the Chief Priest that 
ministered at the altar of Moloch, and his minions which 
did his bidding. 

33. "And these ceased not to exercise dominion over them 
that sat in the committee, but continued to profane the Sab- 
bath day with their imrighteous traffic. 

34. "Woe, woe, imto the children of Brother Jonathan! 
They have fallen upon evU days, because the spoiler of the 
land is the ruler thereof." 

35. And when Elijah, the scribe, had finished to proclaim 
the interpretation of the King's dream, they that had bowed 
down and worshipped at the shrine of Moloch, seized him. 

36. And they said unto him, " Who gave thee authority to 
be an interpreter of dreams among us, seeing that thou wert 
never ordained to be a priest of divination ?" 

37. "And Elijah answered and said: "Who among you 
convinceth me of error ? If I have declared aught but truth 
imto the people concerning this matter, then ouglit I to be 
condemned ; but if not, not." 

38. Then asked the Committee of Inquisition of Elijah, 
"Who told thee these things, and who said unto thee that 
John, the Griffin, the King's Lord of the Treasury, had pre- 
pared the new piece, which is sewed upon the Tariff bill, 
giving power and authority to the Sugai- King .?" 

39. And Elijah answered them, saying : " The places and 
means whereby ye may find out by searching, whether or 
not I have told the truth, I will give unto you with gladness, 
but the names of them that told me these things, I will not 
tell." 

40. Whereupon, the Committee of Inquisition put Elijah 
upon the rack, and brought the thumbscrews and put them 
npon him, and they tortured him to make him tell. 



88 KING GROVER. 

41. But Elijah was steadfast and firm, and would not tell. 
Then tortured they him still more, but he was faithful and 
yielded not. 

42. (Now, the Committee of Inquisition cared naught for 
the truth of the matter, but they desired to find out who it 
was that had told Elijah, that they might punish him.) 

43. And when the committee asked Elijah again to give 
the name of him who had told him the King's dream, he an- 
swered and said : " Upon mine honor have I promised that 
I would not betray him that told me these things, and my 
word will I not break." 

44. And Elijah remained steadfast, immovable, and true 
to his promise, and would not tell. 

45. Therefore, the Committee of Inquisition took him, and 
without the consent of the Select Council, delivered him into 
the hands of the officers of the law, commanding that he 
be punished. 

4G. And Adlai, surnamed Stevenson, who was second only 
to King Grover in his kingdom, and who was also ruler of the 
Select Council, certified, withal, unto the officers of the law, 
all that had been done by the committee and the Select 
Council concerning Elijah. 

47. Now, when Daniel was captive in the land of Babylon 
in his day. King Nebuchadnezzar made him " a great man, 
and gave him many great gifts, and made him ruler over the 
whole Province of Babylon, and chief of the governors over 
all the wise men of Babylon," because he had truthfully in- 
terpreted the King's dream. 

48. And when Joseph interpreted the dreams of Pharaoh 
in Egypt in Iiis day, "Pharaoh took off his ring from his 
hand, and put it upon Joseph's hand, and arrayed him in 
vestures of fine linen, and put a gold chain about his neck ; 
* * * and he made him ruler over all the land of Egypt." 

49. But when Elijah, the scribe, had told his King's dream, 
and proclaimed the interprctatian thereof unto the children 
of Brother Jonathan, in the year Anno Doinini one thousand 
eight hundred ninety and four, he was put into the hands 
of the tormentors to be thrust into prison, because he had 
spoken the truth. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. gQ 

CHAPTER XXIX. 

THE king's letter TO PROFESSOR WILSON. 

AND it came to pass after many days, when the bill for 
tlie destruction of the Tariff wall had been mended, 
that the Select Coimcil approved thereof. 

2. And, straightway, they sent it into the Common Coim- 
cil that it might be accepted as it had been mended. 

3. And it was so, on the nineteenth day of the seventh 
month, when the bill was read in the Common Coimcil, that 
"William, suruamed Wilson, the pretender, lifted np his 
voice and cried imto the ruler of the Common Council. 

4. And the ruler of the Council gave leave that William 
should speak. 

5. Whereupon, he sent a certain letter to the throne of 
the ruler of the Council that it might be read before the 
whole Council. 

6. And behold ! it was a letter from King Grovcr which 
he had sent unto William concerning the bill. 

7. And it was on the second day of the seventh month, 
that the King had written and sent his letter imto William, 
who had kept it in secret until now. 

8. And this was the substance of the King's letter imto 
William : 

9. " Unto the beloved William in the faith, greeting : Be- 
ing assured of a certainty that there must be conference be- 
tween the two Houses of the Chief Council, to harmonize 
their differences concerning the Tariff bill, it behooveth me 
to call upon thee to labor faithfully in my cause. 

10. " My heart longeth to fulfill the promises which I have 
so often made imto the brethren of our sect. 

11. " Unto thee do I call earnestly in tliis day of our trial, 
to be steadfast and immovable in the doctrine of our be- 
loved sect. 

12. " Necessitj' is laid \ipon us that we should do so to 
the end that our sect might endure. 

13. "Unto conference we must look for the fruition of 



90 KIXQ GKOVEK. 

the hope that is within us for tlie redemption of the promises 
of our sect unto the people. 

14. " To reconcile differences will not alone be the object 
of thy labors ; but rather that the doctrine and faith of our 
sect be saved, anil made sure. 

15. " Behold ! how the brethren of our faitli be downcast, 
because some say our sect is unable to rule this land and to 
destroy this Tariff wall. 

16. " But they be much more downcast, because they fear 
lest the foundation of the doctrine of our sect be overthrown. 

17. " Therefore, do they look with confidence unto tliee 
and thy co-workers with thee who have labored in all sin- 
cerity to overthrow the wall. 

18. "And this confidence is greatly increased because 
thou hast been chief in tlie combat in the Common Council 
in this cause. 

19. " It is known unto all the brethren that this bill, as it 
hath been jnended by the Select Council, is far short of that 
for which we labored, and suffered, yet, without discour- 
agement. 

20. " Yea, the foundation whereon it is built abandoneth 
the doctrine of our cause, and seemeth like 'party j^erjidy 
and dishonor. ' 

31. "This bill is not written according to tlie doctrine of 
our sect, for it provideth not that ' raw materials' shall be 
free from taxation, and denieth that doctrine which is the 
foundation stone of our faith. 

22. " Moreover, it is foolishness that the wool of the hus- 
bandman is not protected, and that protection * be placed 
around the iron ore and coal' of the rich man. 

23. " How shall we escape the condemnation of the peo- 
ple for being thus unjustly double-minded ? 

24. "Neither is there any 'middle ground' whereon to 
stand in this matter, because the tax spoken of offendeth 
alike against the doctrine and the faith of our sect. 

25. "As concerning the Sugar King, I abhor his methods, 
and would not consent to favor him ; 

26. "Nevertheless, we nnist not be faint-hearted, but cour- 
ageous, and tax the people upon their sugar. 



CHRONICLES OF UIS REIGN. gi 

27. *' Behold, what a long letter I have written with mine 
hand. If it be unwelcome, then I pray thee consider ' my 
good intentions.' 

28. " Thou knowest how my soul abhorred that the peo- 
ple should be taxed upon their income, 

29. " But in these things we must not be too superstitious, 
but must hearken unto the judgment of our brethren in tiie 
faith." 

30. Now, so it is, that wherein the King writ in his letter 
that he was averse to the tax on the people's income, lie 
spake not the truth ; 

31. For lo, did he not say in his message to the Chief 
Council, which he sent unto them on the fourth day in the 
twelfth month, in the year one thousand eight hundred 
ninety and three, these words : 

32. " The committee, * * * * have wisely embraced 
in their plan a few additional internal revenue taxes, includ- 
ing a small tax upon incomes derived from certain corporate in- 
vestments f 

33. Did he not further say: " These new assessments arc 
not only absolutely just and easily borne, but they have the 
further merit of being such as can be remitted without un- 
favorable business disturbance whenever the necessity of 
their imposition no longer exists ?" 

34. Nay more, did he not yearn with " 'great desire foi- the 
success of this measure,' and for the destruction of the wall of 
protection ?" 

35. Thus, out of his own mouth, doth he stand convicted 
of falsehood. 



CHAPTER XXX. 

KES'G GEOYER USUEPS AUTHOEITY. 

I^OW, it was not mete that Grover should write the letter 
spoken of unto William. 
2. The chief law of the land commandeth that the ruler 
of the people shall, from time to time, give unto the Chief 



92 KING GROVER. 

Council, information concerning the state of tlie Nation, and 
recommend to their consideration all those things which he 
shall judge necessary and expedient. 

3. Bnt it is not proper that he should make knoAvn his de- 
sires unto the Chief Council bj' means of letters sent imto 
any that sitteth in the Council. 

4. Moreover, it is unlawful that the ruler of the people 
should presume to command the Chief Comicil, that which 
they should do, or leave undone. 

5. Because, according to the supreme law of the land, 
there be three powers, and these three powers make one 
government. 

C. The Chief Council that doth ordain the statutes", is one 
power. 

7. The Areopagus that dotli interpret and declare the law, 
is another power. 

8. And tlie ruler that sitteth in the chair of the "Father 
of his Country," and that executeth the sentence of the law, 
is the third power. 

9. And tliese three powers be separate and free, the one 
from the other ; and neither is subject unto the command 
or dominion of the other. 

10. Therefore, when King Grover sought, by his letter 
which he wrote unto William, to compel the Common 
Council and the Conference to do his bidding, he grievously 
offended against the letter and the spirit of the supreme law 
of the land. 

11. Moreover, his letter Avas an offense, and a stench in 
the nostrils of the people, for tlierein he sought to exalt his 
sect, and the prosperity tliereof, above the welfare and pros- 
perity of all the people. 

12. He had forgotten the words of the "Father of his 
Country" which he spake unto him in the Council Chamber 
of "Wisdom, in the cave, wherein he warned the King 
against the danger of the spirit of '■^ party'''' above that of 
country. 

13. Nay, in the blindness of his zeal for his sect, he chose 
not to remember what had been told him \\\ the cave, 

14. But rather chose to hearken unto the words of them. 



CHRONICLES OF UIS KEIGN. 93 

who, aforetime had beeu enemies of their coimtry, and now 
seek to execute vengeance against the people of the North- 
land. 

15. And, it was so, when the bill had been sent to the Con- 
ference betwixt the two Houses of the Chief Coimcil, tiiut 
Grover intermeddled with the doings of them that sat in tlie 
Conference. 

16. And he sought to compel them to do his bidding, 

17. But after a long time, the Conference could not agree ; 
and they made return unto their several Houses of the Chief 
Council. 

18. And there was a great uproar and tumult among them 
that sat in the Select Council concerning the report of the 
Conference and the letter which Grover had written to 
William. 

19. And it came to pass that Arthur Pugh, surnamed, Gor- 
man, the lean Cassius, had made ready for a great oration. 

20. Now, when tlie noise of the bruit thereof was come 
to the King's ears, lie sent and called Arthur. 

21. And he told Arthur that the time was at hand when 
the making of orations in the Select Council should cease, 
and that a bill in accordance with his wishes should be ap- 
proved. 

22. Furthermore, he commanded Arthur that he should 
not make his oration, but forbear. 

23. But Arthur answered the King, and said : " Not unless 
I am a dead man.^' 



CHAPTEE XXXI. 

ARTHUR SPEAKS BEFORE THE SELECT COUNCIL. 

•yHEREFORE, on the twenty-fourth day of the seventh 
^ mouth, in the second year of the reign of King Grover, 
Arthur was in his place in the Select Council. 

2. And a great multitude thronged the temple and choked 
the amphitheater wherein sat the Select Council. 



94 KING G ROVER. 

3. Many of them that sat in the Common Council were 
also in the arena. 

4. And in his place in the gallery sat the Ambassador from 
the Queen of Britannia. 

■'5. And all the galleries were filled by the people who came 
to hear the oration of Arthur. 

G. Now, Daniel Wolsey, surnamed Voorhccs, which is by 
interpretation, the tall Sycamore of the Wabash, the Hoosier- 
ite, was chief of the Committee on Finance. 

7. So, -when the hour was at hand, Daniel called for the 
report of the Conference upon the bill for the destruction of 
the Tariff wall. 

8. Now, Arthur had been sick of a fever, and his face was 
blanched, but his eye Avas bright and keen. And he refused 
strong drink when offered, saying: " Take it away. I want 
no drink." 

9. And when he rose in his place, silence reigned in all the 
amphitheater. 

10. And standing up in the arena he spake in a loud 
voice, saying: "Men and brethren, hearken. In all good 
conscience have avc labored, lo, these many months, that the 
differences among us might be healed. 

11. " And I am ready at all times to meet my brethren in 
the faith that differ with me, that our disputations may 
cease. 

12. "But, behold, whilst we were still being spent in this 
service, it behooved King Grover to write a letter unto Wil- 
liam of the Common Council. 

13. " It was the most uncalled for, the most extraordinary, 
the most unwise communication that ever came from a' 
ruler of the children of Brother Jonathan. 

14. " It placeth this body in a position Avhere I must tell 
the story as it occurred. 

16. " The limit of endurance hath been reached:' 

17. And Arthur made defence for the bill which the Select 
Council had approved and sent unto the Conference ; and 
declared that it did no violence against the doctrine of the 
King's sect. 

18. He declared, also, that John, the Grilfln, tlie Lord of 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 95 

the Treasury, and the King himself had been counseled 
with, concerning all the new pieces wherewith the bill had 
been mended. 

19. Then read he from the confession of John, the GriflSn, 
which he made on the twentj^-ninth day of the fourth 
month, whereby John assented unto the bill as it was 
mended. 

20. And he declared, furthermore, that the King assented 
also unto tlie same. 

21. Then called Arthur upon George Graham, surnamed 
Vest, from the Province of Muddy Water, and upon James 
K., surnamed Jones, from the Province of Arkansaw, to 
bear testimony unto the truth, saying : 

22. ^^ Let us have the truth.'''' 

23. And these being "honorable men," and brethren in 
the faith, did both testify unto the truth of Arthur's saying, 
that King Grover and John, the GrifRn, had been counseled 
with respecting those pieces prepared by James wherewith 
the bill was mended. 

24. And James testified, furthermore, that he had coun- 
seled with the King concerning the matter, and declared 
that the King said unto him : " /om willing to do or say any- 
thing to pass that bill" 

25. Then called Arthur upon Isham G., surnamed Harris, 
who dwelt in the City of Memphis, by the great river, in the 
Province of Tennessee, which is, by interpretation, the elbow. 

26. Now, Isham was a great and good man, of great 
learning, pure and undefiled. 

27. And he testified and said: "Twice had I counseled 
with the King ere this bill was approved by this Council, 
and once since it was in Conference. 

28. "And each time did he signify that he favored the 
same and greatly desired that it be approved." 

29. And, when these had thus spoken, was there any 
within the amphitheater that doubted the treachery and 
double dealing of King Grover ? Nay, not one. 

30. And the anger of Arthur being kindled, he turned him 
and rent King Grover and the Common Council without 
mercy. 



96 KING GROVER. 

31. And Jie declared that the Select Council was held up 
iu derision from high places before the gaze and contempt 
of the people. 

32. That foul charges were made against the Council from 
high sources, which were echoed by the " cuckoos." 

33. That the King was ungrateful towards them that had 
holpen him to his throne. 

34. That, " by the grace of God" and hard labor had the 
King been seated upon his throne the first time, in the year 
one thousand eight hundred eighty and four. 

35. Moreover, Arthur declared the meaning of the doc- 
trine of the King's sect, as it was written by the Assembly 
which named him for ruler the second time. 

36. And, proclaimed that when he sought to be chosen 
by the people as their ruler, Grover said imto him : 

37. " We will not destroy any industry ; we will remodel 
the tariff ; we will give lower duties ; we will even the bur- 
dens on the people, and we will give freer raw material, not 
free raw material." 

38. "And but for that declaration," cried Arthur, " I am 
persuaded that Grover could not have been again chosen 
ruler of the children of Brother Jonathan." 

39. And he said furthermore, that if King Grover were 
given the desire of his heart, in that, coal should be made 
free of customs, then would the coal of Nova Scotia displace 
that of the children of Brother Jonathan in New Britannia, 
and the Treasury of Acadia would be filled with the money 
that ought to flow into the King's Treasur}-. 

40. And he declared that King Grover worshipped at the 
shrine of Moloch, the Sugar King; and back into his teeth 
did he cast the King's own filth of " perfidy and dishones- 
ty," and thus did he uncover the King's nakedness. 

41. And when Arthur had finished his oration, all the peo- 
ple in the amphitheater gave a shout, saying: '' It is tJie 
truth." 

42. Whereupon, David Bennet, sumamed Hill, from the 
land of Gotham, seeing the sorrowful state of Grover, 
sprang to his feet and shouted : " /cm a Democrat." And 
he spake and justified Grover. 



CHRONICLES OF UIS KEIGN. 97 

43. (Now David had aforetime been Grover's enemy, and 
was one of tiiem that had slain his Hornblower and his 
Peckliam.) 

44. Next came William F., surnamed Vilas, the Badgerite, 
he who had been the King's Lord of the Interior in his first 
reign, and he brought with him a healing balm and the man- 
tle of charity. And William put the balm on the King's sores. 

45. And as did Shem and Japheth of old, who " took a 
garment and laid it upon both their shoulders, * * and 
covered the nakedness of their father." 

46. So, likewise, did William and David, and with the 
mantle of charity did they cover the nakedness of King 
Grover which Arthur had uncovered. 

47. And they that sat in the Select Council which were 
not of the King's sect, said : " Behold, how these brethren 
of the King's sect love each other!" 



CHAPTEK XXXII. 

THE BILL STOLEN AND APPROVED. 

lyjOW, when the Select Council could not agree, they re- 
turned the bill again unto the Conference, but in- 
structed them not. 

2. And, straightwaj^ they that sat in the Conference be- 
gan again their labors, and sought to heal the differences 
between them. 

3. Now, the bill, as it was mended by the Chief Council, 
required that customs must be paid on coal that will be 
brought from foreign countries. 

4. And it was so, that there was a company of men which 
had purchased great possessions in the Province of Nora 
Scotia, in the land of Acadia, that belonged to the dominion 
of the Queen of Britannia, in which there was much coal. 

5. And among them that were of this company were 
John, surnamed Russell, who aforetime was Tetrarch of 
the Province of Massachusetts ; 



98 KING GROVER. 

6. And "William C, siiruamed Whitnej^, who was an ex- 
ceeding rich man, that dwelt in the City of Gotham. 

7. Now, the King loved "William, even as Jonathan loved 
David, because in the King's first reign, "William was Lord 
of the King's navy of ships. 

8. And there was a certain man whose name was John, 
surnamed Roach, that built great ships for the Government 
of the children of Brother Jonathan. 

9. And in his youth John had been a poor lad, but being 
upright and faithful, lie was greatly blest with prosperity. 

10. And when Grover saw that John built better ships 
than did Grover's friends in Britannia, then was he jealous 
of John, and sought how he might destroy him. 

11. And he counseled with "William, his Lord of the Navy, 
and the twain agreed between them how John should be 
destro}'ed. 

13. And behold, John was building the ship called "Dol- 
phin," and he had expended in the building thereof much 
money, and the Government owed unto him seven hundred 
and twenty thousand shekels of silver. 

13. And when the " Dolphin" was well-nigh finished, and 
the Gov^ernment owed the money and John had great need 
of the money, "William refused to accept the "Dolphin," 
and condemned her. 

14. And the creditors of John came and said unto him : 
" Pay that thou owest us." 

15. And when John received not his money from the 
Government, he could not pay. 

16. Therefore, his creditors seized him, and ill-treated 
him, so that he died of a broken heart. 

17. And King Grover rejoiced when he heard that John, 
the ship-builder, was destroyed and was dead. 

18. i\Ioreover, it came to pass, when Grover sought to be 
named in the Assembly for ruler the second time, that it 
went hard with him, and his enemies sought to cast him 
out, and slay him. 

19. "Wherefore, "William, the Gothamite, hastened to the 
place where the Assemblj'^ met in the City of Chicago, to 
defend Grover. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 99 

20. And it Tvas so, that, by the power of William, and the 
craftiness of the rulers of the Southland, Grover was named 
in the Assembh'. 

21. Therefore, did he love William. 

22. And when Grover saw that the Select Council, by 
their mended bill, would compel William's company to pay 
customs duties on the coal which they would bring from 
Nova Scotia, he was angry. 

23. And he would not consent that they who sat in the 
Conference should approve the bill as it was mended. 

24. And the strife betwixt Grover and the Chief Council 
waxed hot, and continxied many days. 

25. And there was disputation also between the King and 
John, the Griffin, his Lord of the Treasury; 

26. Because John declared that he must needs have the 
money for the Treasury which would be gathered by the 
bill which was mended, 

27. And the King forbade, saying: "There shall be no 
customs duties laid on coal." And thus the strife waxed 
hotter. 

28. Then William, the Springer, from the Province of the 
Suckers, communed with his brethren, and called a "caw- 
CMS," which is, by interpretation, a meeting of the faithful, 
that they may take counsel together. 

29. And behold ! while yet the Conference was sitting, 
and could not agree, some thief stole the bill out of the 
hands of the Conference, and it was brought into the Com- 
mon Coimcil. 

30. And when Charles Frederick, surnamed Crisp, the 
ruler of the Common Council, saw that it was the bill as it 
was mended by the Select Council, he seized it. 

31. And when it had been brought before the Common 
Council it was approved. And thus ended the strife be- 
tween the Select Council and the Common Council. 



D 



100 KING GKOVEK. 

CHAPTER XXXni. 

THE FAITHFUL HAVE A FEAST — GEOYER SICK. 

M OW, when the King found out that he had been betrayed 
by the craftiness of Charles, the ruler of the Common 
Council, and of his own Lord of the Treasury, and saw that 
he could not save his friend William, the Gothamite, 

2. His heart came up into his throat, and as King David 
did lamenting Absalom, so did King Grover, lamenting 
William ; 

3. And he covered his face, and cried with a loud voice, 
" O, my friend William ! O, William, my friend, ray frieud !" 

4. And William, the pretender, chief of the "Committee 
of Mean Ways," also wept, and refused to be comforted. 

5. Therefore, Charles Fredrick, the ruler of the Common 
Council, prepared a great feast for William, the pretender, 
and for King Grover, that they might be comforted. 

6. And all manner of dainty food and drink was set before 
the King, that he might eat, drink and be merr}'. 

7. And the thing that was most delectable was " crow" 
whereof the King ate abundantly; but William, the pre- 
tender, refused to eat. 

8. And so it was, that after the feast King Grover was 
taken sick with a burning ague. 

9. But some said he was sick from his feast of ''crow,'' 
and others said he was broken-hearted because William, the 
Gothamite, and his great company fared ill. 

10. Now, in the wine that was in the cellar of John, the 
Griffin, the King had often found a healing medicine. 

11. Therefore, he went and filled a large bottle with old 
wine from John's cellar. 

12. And King Grover, and his physician, and Daniel, sur- 
named Lamont, left the King's city, and journeyed to the 
King's summer palace by the sea where the Buzzards sing. 

13. Now the King took not with him the bill which had 
been approved by both Houses of the Chief Council, but he 
went that he might meditate thereon. 

14. For he was in a strait betwixt three— whether to for- 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. JAJ 

bid the bill, to approve thereof, or to allow it to become a 
law without his subscription. 

15. To do the one, he must offend his brethren in the faith 
of the Select Council, to do the other, he must oilena against 
them of the Common Council whom he commanded to hold 
out against the Select Council, and to do the third, he must 
prove himself a craven, and offend against his own words. 

16. Therefore, the King was in great trouble and perplex- 
ity, lest, if he should approve the bill, or permit it to become 
a law without his subscription, 

17. He had written his own epitaph— not " King Grmer, 
the Great,'" neither Grovereum Clevelandus, Magnus, Bufia- 
lonn," but " King Grovek, the ' perfidious and disiionok- 

ABLE.' " 



CHAPTER XXXIV. 

THE KING APPOINTS VAN ALAN TO ITALY. 

A ND it came to pass, in due season, after King Grover had 
ascended his throne, that he must needs send his Am- 
bassadors unto all the Kings and rulers of the nations. 

2. And he made ready to send an ambassage unto the 
King of Italia, which was, aforetime, the land of Rome. 

3. Therefore, upon a time, ere yet the Chief Council began 
their labors on the bill for the destruction of the Tariff wall, 
the King's Council were gathered together in their wonted 
place in the King's palace. 

4. And the King went in unto them to counsel with them 
concerning the affairs of his reign. 

5. And so it was, when he came into the Council chamber, 
that his countenance was changed, and his eyes were fixed 
on a bust of Caesar above the door of the chamber. 

6. Neither did he speak unto his Council, but sat down 
and gazed upon the bust of Ciesar. 

7. And the Council was in sore distress, lest some great 
calamity had befallen the King during the night. 



102 KING GROVEK. 

8. And they were put in great fear by reason of the King's 
conduct. And none durst speak unto him. 
- 9. But when they had whispered aside, among themselves, 
they agreed that one of the Council should speak unto the 
King, that they might learn, peradventure, what ailed him. 

10. And Ilokesmith spake, and said: *' O, King, live for- 
ever." And immediately the King took his eyes off the bust 
of Caesar and stared upon Hokesmith, as one that had 
waked from a dream. 

11. And Hokesmith said, "What aileth thee, O, King; 
and what is it thou seest above the chamber door ?" 

12. And the King spake and said: "Hearken ye, my 
Council, and give ear unto my voice." 

13. " Yesternight, Avhile I labored late, I searched the rec- 
ords in mine hands, that I might find the name of liim whom 
I should send as mine Ambassador unto the King of Italia. 

14. "And when I had come upon a certain name, 'Sud- 
denly there came a tapping. 

As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my cham- 
ber door.' 

15. " Then, ' I opened wide the door ; 

Darkness there, and nothing more.' 

16. " 'Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there, 

wondering, fearing. 
Doubting, dreaming dreams no mortal ever dared to 

dream before ; 
But the silence was unbroken, and the darkness gave 

no token. 
And the only word there spoken was 'fifty thousand 

more.^ 

17. " ' Back into the chamber turning, all my soul within 

me burning. 

Soon again I heard a tapping, something louder than 
before. 

' Surely,' said I, ' surely that is something at mj- win- 
dow-lattice ; 

Let me see then what there at is, and this mystery 
explore, — 

Let my heart be still a moment, and this mystery 
explore ; — 

'Tis the wind, and nothing more.' 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. ^qo 

18. " ' Open then I flnng the shutter, when, with many a 

flirt and flutter, 

In there stepped a stately 'owlet' of the saintly days 
of yore. "^ "' 

Not the least obeisance made he ; not an instant stop- 
ped or staj^ed he ; 

But, with mien of lord or lady, perched above my 
chamber door. 

Perched upon a bust of ' Cajsar,' just above my 

chamber door. 
Perched, and sat, and nothing more. 

19. '"Then this 'staring' bird beguiling my sad fancy 

into smiling, 

By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance 
It wore, 

'Though thy crest be shorn and shaven, thou,' I 
said, ' art sure no craven ; 

Ghastly, grim and ancient' owlet, ' wanderin-^ from 
the nightly shore, ° 

Tell me what thy lordly name is on the night's Plu- 
tonian shore ?' 

Quoth the owlet, ' ti/ thousand more.' " 

20. And when the King had ceased to speak, in the lan- 
guage of our own poet, they that sat in his Council, again 
spake together in a whisper, saying, " Surely the King hath 
seen another vision." 

21. And Hokesmith spake again, and said: "Tell us, O, 
King, what name was it which thou didst last look upon 
when thou didst hear the ' tapping at thy chamber door ?' " 

23. Whereupon, the King shook with terror, and immedi- 
ately fixed his eyes again upon the bust of Cssar, above the 
chamber door. 

23. Then commanded he that the record containing the 
names of them that would be Ambassadors, be brought. 

24. And when he saw the records, he trembled with fear, 
and he demanded that Hokesmith should call the names. 

25. And Hokesmith did as he was commanded, and when 
he called the name " James J. Alan,'' the King cried out in 
terror : " The oicl, the owl, behold it 7iath three eyes." And his 
eyes were fixed upon the bust of Cajsar. 

26. Then inquired the King's Council among tliemselves : 



104 Kl'SG GROVER. 

•' What is there in a name, that the King should be terrified 
therewith ?" 

27. And the King shouted : " Bring the Encyclopedia.''^ 
And the King's Council searched the book, and when thej' 
had found the name ^^Van Aian,^^ they read aloud unto the 
King : 

28. "Van Alan, James J., lodgeth in the Province of 
Rhode Island. His name is taken from the speech of the 
Teutons, which was aforetime written : ' Von Eulen,'' which 
is, by interpretation, ^ from the Owls.^ 

29. " He is a rich man, and around his palace hath he built 
an high wall, that the 'American rabble' may not look upon 
the beauty of his garden. 

30. " He dwelleth in the land of Britannia, because he 
loveth not the children of Brother Jonathan, saying ' they 
are not tit companions.' 

31. " He is clotlied in fine linen and costly garments, and 
fareth sumptuously every day. He hath two ej'es and a 
monocle." 

32. And the King spake and said : "And, lo, had not the 
owl which sat on CiEsar's bust two eyes and a monocle, and 
did I not think they were three ej^es ? Yea, verily." 

33. Now, the King had heard that this man had given 
eighty thousand shekels of silver, at the time of the busting. 

34. But when the King was told that he had given this 
money that he might be appointed Ambassador to Italia, 
the King was angry, and said he would not send James as 
his Ambassador. 

35. But, when Walter, the doubter, chief of the King's 
Council, showed tlie letter of William C, surnanied Whit- 
ney, the Gothamite, favoring James, then was the King's 
anger appeased. 

36. And wlien he was told that there was great need for 
the money in the King's cause when James gave it, he made 
him his xVmbassador, to be sent unto the King of Italia. 

37. But when the people were told that James was about 
to be sent as the King's Ambassador, because he had given 
money to the King's cause, they cried out against him. 

38. And when the heralds throughout the whole land pro- 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. IQ^ 

claimed against him, then James became alarmed, lest the 
King of Italia might refuse to receive him, and say unto 
him non grata. 

39. "Therefore, did James write a letter unto King Grover 
concerning the matter, sajMng : "I pray thee have me ex- 
cused," and he would not be sent as the King's Ambassador. 

40. Nevertheless, the King was importunate and com- 
manded that he should go, but James was steadfast, and 
would not go. 



CHAPTEK XXXV. 

QUEEN OF THE KANAKAS YISITS GROVER. 

IT came to pass, many days after James, the (Blount) 
Blunt, had returned from the land of "Honey-lulu" 
unto his own country, that Queen Liliuokalani, having 
heard of the fame of Grover, came to importune him that 
he might restore her imto her throne. 

2. With her came not Wilson, the butcher, with whom 
she consorted in her own country, neither did she bring 
spices, gold or precious stones. 

3. But she brought her commissioners with her, and she 
clothed herself with fig-leaves and palms. 

4. And arrayed herself in all the bravery of her tinkling 
ornaments about her feet, and her caul, and her round tires 
like the moon, 

5. The chains, and the bracelets, and the mufflers, 

6. The ornaments of the legs, and the tablets, and the 
earrings, 

7. The rings, and nose jewels, and on her head she placed 
a crown made of " American tin." 

8. And when she was come imto Grover, she bowed to 
the earth before him and said, " O, King, live forever." 
And she communed with him of all that was in her heart. 

9. And she told Grover, how that James, the Blount, the 
King's Commissioner, when he was in the land of the Kana- 
kas, had counseled with her and her friends, and had written 



106 KING GROVER. 

down tlieir words concerning her overthrow, with an oath 
for confirmation. 

10. And that James refused to hear the words of them 
that were against her in her kingdom, neither did he take 
their oath or write it down. 

11. And that when James had told her, ere he departed 
from her palace in her own land, of tlie report which he 
would make to his master concerning the matter, how her 
heart leaped for J03-. 

12. For his promise was that she should he restored imto 
her throne, that she might rule her people according to her 
own will. 

13. "And then, O, King," said the Queen, "should my 
vengeance have been sweet, against tliem that overthrew 
my kingdom. 

14. " For with their lives should they have paid the for- 
feit for their revolt. 

15. "And from the rising of the sun to the going down 
thereof, did I sit by mine open window and wait for the de- 
scending of thy soldiers from thy navy of ships in the 
harbor. 

16. "But, alas I they did not come; and in the language 
of those vile missionaries, which they read from their book, 
' Hope deferred maketh the heart sick.' 

17. " If thou hadst been there, O, King, then, for a cer- 
tainty would I have been restored unto my throne. 

18. "And now, behold thine handmaid hath come from 
afar — from the land of the setting sun, to plead her cause 
before thee." 

19. And the Queen fell upon King Grovcr's neck and 
wept, and kissed him. And the King wept likewise. 

20. Then spake King Grover unto Queen Liliuokalani and 
said : " Of a truth thou art in a sad state, and within my 
bowels I yearned to help thee, but so it is that in my coun- 
try the King cannot do all that he would. 

21. " But before I can vouchsafe thee succor, thou must 
take off tliy crown of American tin and cast it from thee. 
Because American tin doth vex my soul witliin me, and tlie 
sight thereof I cannot bear. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 107 

22. "Behold, when James, the Blount, made his report 
unto Walter, that sitteth at my right hand, and is Chief of 
the King's Council, Walter doubted a long time ere he could 
tell what I should do. 

23. " Whereupon, I commanded that he must write a 
letter unto his master, the King, and it was told him what 
he sliould write. 

24. "And this is the substance of that which my Chief of 
the King's Council wrote unto me concerning this matter — 

25. " That when thou wert threatened with war by Benja- 
min, who was then the ruler of my country, thou didst lay 
down thy crown, and didst yield thine authority as Queen, 
until such time only as my Government should restore thee 
to tliy throne. 

26. "And that the reign which was established in thine 
own countrj- against thee by usurpation, should continue 
only until thy country should be united with my country. 

27. "And tills was his sentence— that the great wrong 
which had been done to thee as the Queen of thy country, 
'by an abuse of the authority of my country, should be 
undone, and that thou be restored unto thy kingdom. 

28. "That unless this were done, the demands of justice 
would remain imsatisfied. 

29. "Furthermore, he declared that the Government of 
Benjamin was the first * to recognize the independence of 
the islands,' and my Government ' should be the last to ac- 
quire sovereignty over them by force and fraud.' 

30. "And lo, had I not sent Albert, surnamed Willis, 
which is by interpretation, Willin', alias Barkis, as my Min- 
ister to thy country ? 

31. "And did I not give him two letters, the one inscribed 
to ' My great and good friend,' who occupied the chief seat 
in the Government which existed against thy Government, 

32. " Wherein I spake smooth words unto him and thereby 
sought to beguile him into thy power ? 

33. "And did I not write unto him in the other letter that 
he must yield his Government into thy hands, but com- 
manded my Minister not to make known the contents there- 
of, imtil the last, when all other means had failed ? 



108 KING GROVER, 

34. "And, when all otiier means of flatteries and bland- 
ishments liad failed to canse him to yield, did my Minister 
not threaten to bring my soldiers on land from my ships 
and compel him to yield ? 

35. " Yea, all this was done, but the rulers upon thine 
usurped throne, were a still-necked people. 

36. " But there is great virtue in patience, steadfastness 
and perseverance ; therefore, did I not hasten the matter. 

37. " But behold, the mighty clamour, uproar and tumult 
among the people in mine own country, concerning this 
business. 

38. "All the great heralds in the land proclaimed against 
me and the chief of the King's Council, from the house-tops 
and the watch-towers. 

39. "And my doings therein they called ' the policy of in- 
famy,' yea, some even threatened, by secret letters, to kill 
my Walter and me. 

40. "Then did I go to ' my Congress' and seek justifica- 
tion; and so it was, that at my command, the Common 
Council approved of my doings, and I was justified. 

41. "But this Select Council which 'I have upon mine 
hands,' is a perverse generation, and me they refused to 
justify. 

43. "Meanwhile did thine enemies in thine own land wax 
bold, and from him that usurped thy throne, and now sitteth 
in the chief place of authority in thy country, there came 
a '■ Dole-ivii'' sound. 

43. "And the noise and force thereof was like a mighty 
hurricane, and my breath was taken awaj-. 

44. "And when I had recovered my breath, then was I 
angry and yearned in mine heart the more to help thee, and 
to restore thee unto thy throne. 

45. "Yea, I longed to hold thine enemies by their hind- 
most feet as they lay upon the block, the while thou wouldst 
chop their heads off. 

40. "But this I durst not, lest mine own Ciiief Council 
shoidd bring me into judgment, and take from me my crown 
and give it to another. 

47. "As my soul liveth, I love not tlie rule of the people 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REION. IQQ 

in mine own land, but rather, that the King alone should 
reign. 

48. "O, wretched man that I am I "Who shall deliver me 
from the power of ' my Congress' which ' I have upon mine 
hands' ? Would that / had an axe. But such luxuries are 
denied me under the law." 



N- 



CHAPTER XXXVI. 

GROVEE AND LILIUOKALANI WALK IN THE KING's GARDEN. 

|0W, on the morrow, King Grover and Liliuokalaui walk- 
ed in the King's garden. 
^ 2. And the King said unto her: " Fear not, but have pa- 
tience, for that which may not be brought about by force, 
can oftentimes be done by craftiness. 

3. " Peradventure I may yet be able to restore thee unto 
thy kingdom, and it may come to pass that they who sit 
upon thy throne will not be able to continue their dominion. 

4. " Wherefore, it will not be a hard matter to accomplish 
thy purpose. 

5. "Meanwhile, let the Queen of Britannia send men 
from the borders of Acadia into thy country. 

6. "And let them stir up strife among thy people against 
them that have usurped thine authority. 

7. "And when they are all in a tumult, let them be ready 
and seize upon thy throne and hold it until thou shalt be 
safely seated thereon. 

8. "And let them also seize thine enemies and put them 
into prison, that thou mayest punish them according to 
tiieir transgressions." 

9. And the King's words pleased Liliuokalani, and she 
answered and spake, saying: " O, thou great and noble 
friend, how I adore thee I 'For thy love is better than 
wine.' 

10. "I am brown, but comely. Look not upon me, be- 
cause I am brown, 'because the sun hath looked upon me.'" 



IIQ KING GROVER. 

11. And King Grover smiled upon Lili^iokalani, and said 
unto her, " Behold thou art fair; thou hast dove's eyes. 

12. " Rise up, my love, my fair one, and come away. 

13. " For lo, the winter is past, the rain is over and gone ; 

14. "The flowers appear on the earth; the time of the 
singing of birds is come, and the voice of the cuckoo is 
heard in our land." 

15. And when King Grover and Liliuokalani had sat down 
under the shadow of the magnolia that bloomed, where the 
King had aforetime dreamed his dream, he told her how he 
had been robbed of his opportunity to redeem his fame 
concerning chivalry. 

16. He made known imto her how he had been mocked 
and tormented, because of his substitute whom he had sent 
into the army to fight in his stead when there was war be- 
tween Abraham and Jefferson. 

17. And how he had now made preparation in all things 
to go to the islands of Hawaii and fight for her cause, that 
those wicked sons of the missionaries that overthrew her 
dominion might be taken and punished for their wickedness. 

18.. "And behold," said he, "I will shew thee how I 
•would have fought." 

19. And the King commanded his armour-bearer to bring 
his armour and put it on him ; and his helmet, his buckler 
and his sword, and to put the shield in his hand. 

20. And his armour-bearer did as he was commanded. 

21. "When, therefore, the King had put on his whole armour, 
he said unto Liliuokalani: "Behold, thus would I have 
fought for thee and for thy cause." 

22. And he drew his sword out of its sheath and began to 
exercise therewith. 

23. Now, the King was exceeding fat-fleshed, and his legs 
were short. 

24. His sword was long and was buckled on his body too 
low, so that it touched upon the ground. 

25. Therefore, as he was fencing before the Queen, the 
sheath of the sword got between his legs and he became en- 
tangled therewith. 

26. And when he had well-nigh fallen to the c;round by 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. HI 

reason of his entanglement, he struck his helmet with his 
sword, by misadventure. 

27. And the helmet being made of brass was heavy, and 
as it fell to the ground, it struck upon Liliuokalani's foot 
and bruised her toes, for she had no shoes on her feet. 

28. Wherefore the Queen cried out Avith pain and exclaim- 
ed: " Surely evil shall befall me in the business of my restora- 
tion to my kingdom, whereof this ill fortune shall be a sign." 

29. But King Grover encouraged her and comiseled her not 
to despair, but to have patience and perseverance. 



CHAPTEK XXXYn. 

geoyer's complaint to liliuokalani. 

VFOW, when Grover had sat down again by the side of the 

Queen, he complained unto her, saying that his lot was 

an hard one, because the Chief Council and the otBcers of the 

law constantly intermeddled with his doings in his kingdom. 

2. And he also discoursed unto her how there was a cer- 
tain man, called Coxey, which befo retime in the citj^ of 
Massillon, in the Province of the Buckeyes, used sorcery, 
and bewitched the Commonwealers, giving out that himself 
was some great one : 

3. To whom they all gave l^eed, from the least to the 
greatest, saying, "This man is the great power that will 
compel the King and the Chief Council to give bread unto 
all the people in the land." 

4. And the King said that this man made insurrection in 
his kingdom, and threatened to gather together one thousand 
times one thousand men, and march them upon the King's 
city. 

5. Furthermore, he threatened that from the porch of the 
great temple, wherein sitteth the Chief Council and the 
Areopagus, by the side of the Tiber, he would read his pro- 
clamation unto the people. 

6. Aad that he would compel the Chief Council to obey 
his commands and to approve his bills. 



112 KING GROVER. 

7. And that this man declared that in the fifth month, on 
tlie first day of the month, he and his great army wonhl 
enter throngh the gates into the King's city. 

8. And that great fear fell on all the people, because of tlie 
terrible ^' Army of the Commonweal.'''' 

9. ""Wherefore," said the King, "I made ready to meet 
the hosts of Coxey, when they should attempt to enter my 
city. 

10. "And it was a terrible army with banners, and the 
soldiers thereof were armed with sticks and staves, and other 
warlike weapons. 

11. "And they came from the East, from the West, and 
from the North ; and their tramping was heard throughout 
the land. 

12. " And their anger was kindled, and they became more 
fierce, because the great heralds in all the land mocked them, 
and in derision called them the army of ' Tatterdemalion.'' 

13. " And when the time was at hand, and this army was 
about to enter the city, I gathered my soldiers within her 
walls and shut to the gates, and made ready to fight. 

14. " xVnd in the morning of that same day, I put on mine 
armour, and with my sword and shield went out to meet 
Coxey's hosts. 

15. "Now, the thirtieth day of the fifth month was ap- 
pointed under the law to put garlands and flowers on the 
soldiers' graves. 

16. "And, whereas, I had aforetime gone a fishing by the 
sea upon that day, and had been warned by a vision that I 
should do so no more, I had purposed in mine heart to re- 
deem my good name from that fell charge. 

17. "Tliercfore, had I resolved that, like lloratius, sur- 
named Codes, the one-eyed, of ancient Rome, who stood at 
the entrance of the bridge, and fought alone against the 
Etruscan hosts, so would I stand alone in the breach of the 
wall of my city, and on the approach of the enemy, with 
this sword of mine, cut down the oncoming ' Army of tlie 
Commonweal.'' 

18. "Then, like Horatius, would I have been received 
with the shouts and rejoicings of the people. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. H^ 

19. " Great gifts would have been given unto me as a re- 
ward for my valour, and garlands and flowers would have 
been spread in my pathway. 

20. " Then, as Marius did unto Pompey of old, so would 
even mine enemies have come and saluted me by the name 
of ' Grover, the Great ;' 

21. " Yea, after my departure, a pillar would have been 
raised over mine ashes with this inscription thereon : ' In 
memoriam, Oroverum Clevelandus, Magnus, Buffalonii." 

22. "Then had my fame been redeemed, and my name 
been written among them that are called great, from gener- 
ation to generation, forever. 

23. " But, alas ! I was ' confounded because I had hoped.' 
For, when, the hosts of Coxey came, and the day of my 
glory was at hand, the Chief Council sat in the great temple 
without alarm, as they were wont to do. 

24. "And, behold I Some intermeddling officer of the law 
had erected this sign : ' Keep off the grass.'' 

25. "And when Coxey and his army came and trod upon 
the grass, ere I could draw my sword, some constable or 
other minion of the law had taken Coxey and his captains 
captive, and thrust them into prison. 

26. "And again, mine opportunity came to naught. But 
the day of my exaltation will surely come. 

27. "And when I have a more convenient season I will 
tell thee of the hope that is within me whereby my fame* 
shall be established." 



CHAPTEK XXXYni. 

HOW GROVEK WILL MAKE HIS COUNTRY PKOSPEE. 

A ND it came to pass on the morrow, as King Grover sat in 
his palace alone, that he sent and had Liliuokalani 
brought in unto him. 

2. And when she had made obeisance, she said, " O, King, 



11^ KING GROVER. 

live forever. "Wherefore hath the King called his hand- 
maiden ?" 

3. And the King answered and said : " I promised thee in 
the garden yesterday, that I would tell thee of mine hope 
whereby my fame should be established, therefore, have I 
called thee." 

4. And when Liliuokalani had sat down by the King's 
side, he opened his mouth and spake, saying : " My country 
is an exceeding great one, and the children of Brother Jon- 
athan are a powerful and rich people. 

5. "In the ancient days—' befo' the wa', they were also a 
wise people ; but wiien Abraham was chosen to be their 
ruler, they became foolish, and they remained foolish during 
the space of a generation. 

6. " Nevertheless, they have now forsaken their folly and 
have again chosen to be wise. 

7. " Now, in this land there be many sects of divers faith 
concerning the government of the people. 

8. "And according to the voice of that sect which hath 
the greatest number of people, do they choose their rulers. 

9. " And they, likewise, choose them that sit in the Chief 
Cpuncil, which ordain the statutes and ordinances. 

10. "Now, so it was, that the same powerful sect chose 
all the rulers after Abraham, for the space of twenty-four 
years until I was chosen tlie first time. 

. 11. " Howsoever, when I -was chosen ruler, in the year one 
thousand eight hundred eighty and four, then continued the 
Select Council under the dominion of mine enemies. 

12. "Therefore, it was not possible for me to do that 
which I would. 

13. "And it came to pass, when I sought the favor of the 
people at the Iiustings, the second time, that the people pre- 
ferred Benjamin, and chose him to be their ruler. 

14. " This is that same Benjamin which sought, by 'force' 
and 'fraud,' to rob thee of thy country and bring it under 
the dominion of his reign. 

15. " But now hath mi/ sect been triumphant, and they 
have chosen me their ruler, and they have also chosen ' my 
Congress,' which is the Chief Council. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. -.-jk 

16. " And the da}- of mine opportunity is at hand to re- 
deem the people from the fruits of their "follv and establish 
my name. 

17. " For so it is, that according to the statutes which were 
ordained by the Chief Councils which sat from the days of 
Abraham, even to the days of Benjamin, mv people were 
laden with grievous taxes— 

18. "Upon their food, their raiment, their iron and cop- 
per, their bread and wine, w^ere they taxed : yea. whatsoever 
they cast their eyes upon was taxed. 

19. " And by reason of this extortionate taxation, certain 
' robber barons' have arisen in my country and have built 
great furnaces and made much iron. 

20. "Others built large mills and workshops wherein they 
made much goods and merchandise. 

21. "And in the furnaces, the mills and the workshops 
did the common people labour, and in the sweat of their 
brow, eat bread. 

22. "But the 'robber barons' labored not in their fur- 
naces, their mills, nor their workshops. 

23. "And for their labor the people received hire by the 
day-some received twenty-five shekels, some ten, some 
eight and some three. 

24. " But the ' robber barons' received all the profit and 
became millionaires, and they compelled the Chief Council 
to build a great wall around the borders of the whole land, 
that they might be able to rob the people the more. 

25. "And behold, as the years passed, and the furnaces, 
the mills and workshops were multiplied, the goods and 
merchandise which were made therein, were sold for a lesser 
price continually. 

26. "And the 'robber barons' said unto the people, ' See, 
have not our furnaces, our mills and workshops siven yo\i 
goods and merchandise for a smaller price ?' 

27. "And they deceived the people who believed their 
words, for a long time. 

28. "And, behold, how poor and famished my common 
people are ! 

29. "And so it is, that these ' robber barons' and the rich 



116 KING GROVER. 

men who, like kings, dwell in palaces, continue to deceive 
my people, and say unto them that the cause of their suffer- 
ing lieth in me, because I have purposed to destroy their 
vile wall of protection. 

30. " Now, therefore, this will I do : I will pull down and 
utterly destroy this wall of protection, so that there be not 
one stone left upon another. 

81. "And I will destroy the palaces of these 'robber 
barons' and rich men, and will make waste the beautiful 
gardens which they have planted about them. 

32. " Yea, as did Zimri unto Elah in Tirzah, who also slew 
' all the house of Baasha,' and ' left him not a single man 
child, neither of his kinsfolks, nor of his friends,' 

33. "Even so will I do unto these 'robber barons' and 
rich men that oppress my people. 

34. "With the smoke of their furnaces, their mills and 
their workshops, have they darkened the heavens, and filled 
the streets of my cities with filth. 

35. "And with their dye-stuffs, their mines and their 
cities, have they polluted the water brooks, the streams and 
the rivers. 

36. "Therefore, will I pull down their furnaces, their mills 
and their workshops, and drown out and stop their mines. 

37. "And they shall hew down no more trees in all my 
land, and the husbandman shall eat his own wheat and corn, 
and the flesh of his beasts. 

38. "Then shall my people have rest and be at peace, and 
the oppressor shall vex them no more. 

39. "And they shall be glad to be taxed on their own pos- 
sessions, and submit themselves unto my tax-gatherers, that 
my Treasury may be replenished and the. cost of my Gov- 
ernment paid." 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 117 

CHAPTEK XXXIX. 

THE PROSPEKITY OF GROVER's PEOPLE. 

y^ND it shall come to pass in those days when I have done 
all those things, that my people will be at ease and be 
blest with plenty. 

2. "Because they shall no longer be subject unto the ' rob- 
ber barons' nor beholden unto the rich men, for they shall 
then be able to traffic in 'the markets of the world,' and for 
a small price, buy all the merchandise whereof they have 
need. 

3. "From Sheffield, in the land of Britannia, shall they 
buy knives and other instruments of cutlery. 

4. "From Manchester and Birmingham shall they buy 
cotton cloth and earthen vessels. 

5. "From King's Lynn shall they buy shoes, and from 
London, machinery, 

6. "From Saxony and Paris shall women buy their fine 
garments, and from Bohemia their gloves and gauntlets. 

7. " From Pforzheim in the land of the Teutons, shall they 
buy their jewelry, and from Mannheim their thread. 

8. "From Farther India shall they buy their upper srar- 
ments, beautiful and costly. 

9. "And from London, Bradford, Leeds, Huddersfield and 
Halifax, in Britannia, and from Acadia, shall the men buy 
their woolen garments, and from Damascus their swords. 
And great will be the prosperity of my people." 

10. Then spake Liliuokalani in her own native tongue, in 
part, and said: " Thwaglalum lolioclathlan, 'mgmeampum pop- 
nlus Oroveri Roy Uquidatum .'" 

11. Which is, being interpreted, whence will the people of 
King Grover's realm have the money wherewith to pay all 
this fine merchandise ? 

13. And the King answered, saying: "Yea, 'my sister,' 
thou hast well said that the people will then rightfully call 
me 'The Royal Grovkr.'" 

13. (Now this the King said because he wished to hide 
from the Queen his ignorance of her speech.) 



llg KIKQ GROVER. 

14. And Grover spake on, and told Liliuokalani all those 
things which were needful to make this great nation prosper, 
and the which he would do, saying: 

15. "For so it is, that when the heavens shall no longer be 
darkened by the smoke of the furnaces, the mills and the 
workshops of the 'robber barons,' 

16. "And when the water brooks, the streams and the 
rivers shall no longer be polluted, and the men, the women 
and the maidens shall no longer be compelled to labor for 
the ' robber barons,' then will my people rejoice and be glad. 

17. "And I will increase their happiness and prosperity 
yet more ; for there shall be but one kind of money in all 
my realm. 

18. "Gold and silver hath been counted as money among 
all nations since the days of old, even since the days of 
Abraham and his fathers. 

19. "Even so did our fathers count gold and silver as 
money, but they were not wise in this matter but were 
foolish. 

20. "And the time hath come, and now is, that Britannia, 
that great nation, which would fold thee aud thy people 
under her wings, hath declared that silver is not money. 

21. "And because I love that nation, even more than I 
love mine own, I will emidate her doings. 

22. "Therefore, no more shekels of silver shall be made in 
my country, but all the money in my treasury shall be gold. 

23. "And there shall be none other measure of value in 
my realm than gold. 

24. " And when that great and wise decree and order hath 
been established, then will I command that my Lord of the 
Treasury shall put all the gold that is in my treasury into 
great sliips, that it be carried to my friends in Britannia. 

2o. "Then shall men cease to be rich in all my realm, and 
all the people shall be alike. There will be no one to op- 
press the poor ; but all shall prosper aud be happy." 

26. And, as did the Queen of Sheba unto Solomon, so did 
Queen Liliuokalani unto Grover, and she asked many ques- 
tions of him, aud " he told her all her questions: there was 
not any thing hid from the King, which he told her not." 



CHRONICLES OF HIS KEIGN. 119 

27. And when the Queen of Hawaii 'had seen all' Gro- 
ver's 'wisdom, and the house' wherein he dwelt, 

28. And the meat of his table, and the sitting of his ser- 
vants, and the attendance of his Ministers, and their apparel, 
and his ' cup-hearer k,'' and his chariot wherein he rode to his 
private palace at Clover Nook, 

29. And his ships wherein he sailed when he went a fish- 
ing upon the sea, 

30. And his other chariot, which is drawn by the iron 
horse that eateth fire and breathes out smoke, wherein he 
rideth to his summer palace by the sea where the buzzards 
sing, "There was no more spirit in her." 

31. And she said to the King : "It was a true report that 
I heard in mine own land of ' thy acts,' thy greatness, and 
' thy wisdom.' 

33. "Howbeit I believed not the words, until I came, and 
mine eyes had seen it; and, behold, the 'one-thousandths 
part was not told me ;' thy greatness, ' thy wisdom and pros- 
perity' exceedeth the fame which I heard. 

33. "Happy are thy men, happy are these tliy servants, 
which stand continually before thee, and that hear ' thy wis- 
dom.' " 

34. But she gave Grover no gifts, because she had no 
money wherewith to buy them. 

35. Nevertheless, Grover promised again that he would 
surely restore her kingdom unto her in due season : and he 
bade her to be of good cheer, and to remain and be his 
guest meantime. 



CHAPTEK XL. 

geover's farewell to lilioukalanl 

A ND it came to pass after many days, that Grover sent 
•'*• and called Liliuokalani again. 

2. And when she came before him she bowed and said : 
"O, King, live forever," and he spake unto her and said: 

8. " I have a message for thee. Queen Liliuokalani, and it 



120 KINO GROVEU. 

behooveth me, as the ruler of my people, to make known 
unto thee the substance thereof. 

4. " It hath been the desire of mine heart for a long time 
to seat thee upon thy throne, as thou knowest well. 

5. "And I have diligently sought by what means of en- 
ticement or slight I might prevail against thine enemies, but 
have not been able to fulfil my purpose. 

6. Then I hoped that 'my Congress' would depart and 
they that sit therein would go unto their homes, whereupon 
I might have restored thee ; but they would not. 

7. "And on the first day of the sixth mouth, the Select 
Council resolved, saying : 'That of right it belongeth wholly 
to the people of Hawaii to establish and maintain their own 
form of government * * * * . 

8. " ' That the children of Brother Jonathan ought not in 
any way to interfere therewith, 

9. " 'And that interference in the affairs of the govern- 
ment of those islands by any other Government, w ill be re- 
garded as an act unfriendly to the children of Brother Jona- 
than.' 

10. "This action of the Select Council in the matter was 
brought about by James Henderson, surnamed Kyle, who 
sat in the Select Council from the Province of South Dakota. 

11. "Now, James is a priest, and is of the order whence 
they take the missionaries, whose sons have given thee great 
trouble in thine own country. 

12. "Furthermore, it came to pass on the fourth day of 
the seventh month, that they which overthrew thy kingdom, 
made for themselves a supreme law for the government of 
thy country. 

13. "And that law is fashioned after the supreme law of 
mine own country. 

14. "And according to that law have they chosen their 
rulers who now reign in all the islands of thy kingdom. 

15. "And all the nations of the earth which have sent am- 
bassadors to the ruler of thy country, have given their let- 
ters and greetings from their sovereigns unto that terrible 
man whom they call Dole, and who reigneth in thy stead. 

16. "He it was that sent a letter luito my Ambassador 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. J 21 

Willis, whom I sent unto him, bearing two letters, the one 
wherein I called him ' my great and good friend,^ whereby I 
sought to beguile him into thy power, 

17. "And the other, wherein I threatened to use force and 
compel him to yield, that I might seat thee on thy throne. 

18. "But he was cunning and wise, and foresaw my pur- 
pose ere it was told him, and he would not consent unto my 
demand, 

19. "But he made ready to fight my soldiers and my 
navy. 

20. "And mine Ambassador sent the letter unto Walter, 
the Chief of my Council, and he read it unto me. 

21. "And the voice thereof is still sounding in mine ears. 
23. " And now that he sitteth in the seat of authority, and 

is acknowledged by all nations, as the ruler of a Govern- 
ment, I prefer to be at peace with him. 

23. " Therefore, seeing that my Select Council hath bound 
mine hands, I am constrained, also, to acknowledge him as 
the ruler of thy country. 

24. " And it grieveth me much for thy sake that the hand 
of thine enemy is gone out against thee, and tliat I cannot 
help thee. 

25. "But it may yet be well with thee, because Walter, 
the Chief of my Council, hath said and recorded it in the 
books, that thy crown was taken from thee by 'force' and 
by 'fraud' compassed by the Government of Benjamin. 

26. "Therefore, be thou encouraged and fare thee well." 
So she turned and went to her own country, she and her 
commissioners. 



CHAPTER XLI. 

THE KING IS PERPLEXED AND INVENTS MEANS OF ESCAPE. 

MOW, when King Grover had been foiled, and could not 
seat the Queen of the Kanakas on her throne, and 
when his Congress taxed the coal of his friend William, the 
Gothamite, he was wroth. 



122 KIN« GROVER. 

2. And in his anger he communed with himself, saying : 
" Would that J7tad an axe." 

3. For so it was, that the King was perplexed in despair, 
because he was blamed by the people for the calamities 
which afflicted them. 

4. And when the ten days wherein the King should forbid 
or subscribe his name to the mended bill for the destruction 
of the Tariff wall had passed away, he saw that they turned 
their faces from him, his heart fainted and he was sick. 

5. Then came unto him one of his own sect that sat in the 
Select Council to comfort him. 

6. And he said unto him: " O, King, be not dismayed, 
but take courage. 

7. "Patience, steadfastness and perseverance are great 
virtues. Behold, out of that which seemeth evil in thy 
siglit, good may yet come. 

8. " Therefore, do thou subscribe thy name imto this bill 
that tliy people may have rest and go to their labor. 

9. "And do thou also send a message unto thy Chief 
Council declaring unto them thy thoughts concerning this 
matter." 

10. But the King was angry, and in his wratli he said : 
" Cursed be a message. ' I have said enough about the 
Tariff bill.' " 

11. And the King continued to commune with his own 
thouglits, and wlien he staggered and Avas at his wits' end, 
he commanded that his encyclopedia be brought to him. 

12. And when he searched the book, lo, it was written 
therein : " Necessity is the mother of invention." 

13. And straightway he sought out many inventions what 
he should do that he might again obtain the favor of the 
people. 

14. Now, the King and "William, the pretender, had afore- 
time invented three " pop-gun bills," which were approved 
by the Common Council and were sent unto the Select 
Coimcil. 

15. But when the people had foimd out the King's crafti- 
ness, and would notl)e reconciled unto the " pop-gun bills," 
then were both the Kinsr and William in sore distress. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 123 

16. And the time of the hustings was at hand when the 
people wouUi choose them that should sit in the Common 
Council. 

17. And when some of them that desired to be chosen had 
received word from their people at home, sajiug: " Ye are 
unfaithful servants in that ye betrayed our trust," 

18. Then these arose in their places in the Common Coun- 
cil and cried out against the bill which they had approved 
aforetime. 

19. And, like Judas Iscariot in his day, who threw down 
the thirty pieces of silver at the feet of them that gave it 
him, so would these have undone their own deeds. 

20. But the people believed them not and said they made 
a pretense of virtue, and that their tongues were deceitful 
in their mouths. 

21. Therefore, when the King beheld the tumult of the 
people, and saw that their anger was kindled against him 
and his friends, he was lost in his cogitations and sought 
new inventions whereby he might escape the vengeance of 
the people. 

23. And all his friends likewise sought a way of escape, 
and every one laid the blame at his neighbor's door, and as in 
Pandimonium, so there was " confusion worse confounded." 

23. And like Ishmael, so the King's hand was " against 
every man, and every man's hand against him," save the 
cuckoos, and his brethren from the Southland. 

24. Neither did he subscribe his name unto the bill for the 
destruction of the wall of protection, but suffered the same 
to become a law after ten days, according to the supreme 
law of' the land. 

25. Thus, like the ostrich of the wilderness that hideth 
her head in the sand of the desert, so did King Grover seek 
to escape the wrath of his people. 

26. Moreover, he borrowed words from Thomas Moore, 
and in them wrote a letter unto Thomas Cleudinen, surnamed 
Catchings, who sat in the Common Council from the Province 
of Mississippi, which is, being interpreted, " Great Water.'" 

27. And thereb}' made he liars of all them that aforetime 
had said he was " better than his party." 



124 KING GROVER. 

28. Because, therein did he declare: " I do not claim to 
be better than the masses of mj' part}', * * * • neither 
■will I permit myself to be separated from my party. 

29. "Nor do I wish to avoid any responsibility which, on 
account of the passage of this law, I ought to bear as a 
member of my sect. 

30. " But there be matters in this bill which are not iu ac- 
cord with our doctrine, and it containeth inconsistencies 
and crudities which ought not to appear in tariff laws, or 
laws of any kind." 

31. And King Grover proclaimed with his mouth against 
Moloch, the Sugar King, and exhorted his brethren in the 
faith, to continue the work of destruction against the wall 
of protection. 



CHAPTER XLn. 

THE KING COMMANDS THE CUCKOOS WHAT TO DO. 

MOW, when the King saw that the people were wroth, be- 
cause he refused to forbid the bill of destruction, and 
also refused to subscribe his name thereunto, thereby allow- 
ing ten days wherein Moloch, the Sugar King, and Bacchus, 
his brother, received sixteen million shekels of silver which 
ought to have been paid into the Treasury, he invented 
other means to escape their wrath. 

2. And he called his cuckoos and his friends from the 
Southland, and said unto them : "Men and brethren, hearken. 

3. " Hitherto have we come safely by our cunning, but 
lo, the people have discovered our secret purposes, and 
their faces are turned against us." 

4. Seeing, therefore, that the time has come when men 
must be chosen to sit in the Common Council, it behooveth 
Tis to take counsel together and resolve what we should do, 
that the sceptre be not taken from us. 

5. And when the cuckoos had now come into the King's 
presence as he sat upon his throne, they all bowed their 
faces to the earth before him. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 195 

6. And when the King had touched each one with his 
wand, they all lifted xip their craven faces and with one ac- 
cord exclaimed : " O, King, live forever I" 

7. And as did Joseph unto his brethren in Egypt, so, like- 
wise, did King Grover unto the cuckoos, and he spake 
roughly, as he was wont to do, saving : " What is your sen- 
tence, and what shall be done ?" 

8. And they all trembled with fear, and said : " O, King, 
thou alone art great and wise among men. How shall we 
instruct thee ? 

9. " Hast thou not in all things told us what we must do, 
and hath not thy word been law unto us for our guidance ?" 

10. But the King was angry, and said unto them : ' ' Where- 
fore hath the King friends if he cannot use them ?" 

11. And he threatened them, saying: "If ye give not 
your sentence in this matter, then are ye not my friends, and 
ye shall be put all together into ward." 

12. Therefore, when they had taken counsel among them- 
selves they came again before the King to make answer. 

13. And when he gave them leave to speak, they answered 
and said : " This, O, King, is our sentence and answer— 

14. "Do thou put the blame on John, the Griffin, thy 
Lord of the Treasury, because he wrote a letter unto Harris, 
the Tennesseeite, that sitteth in the Select Council. And if 
need require, do thou cast out John and slay him, even as 
thou didst unto Daniel, surnamed Manning, in thy first 
reign. 

15. "And we will say unto the people that thou art 
blameless and that there is no fault in thee— 

16. "That because of thy goodness thou canst do no 
wrong, and because of thy great wisdom thou canst not err. 

17. "And we will say also, that the bill which hath be- 
come a law by thy sufferance is a good and wise statute, 
and that under it thy people will flourish like a ' green bay 
tree.' 

18. "And if they hear us not, we will confirm our words 
by an oath ; yea, we will fight for thee ; nay, we will even 
lie for thee." 

19. And the King said unto them : " Happy the King that 



126 KINO gro-\t:r. 

hath obedient servants as ye are, go, and see tliat ye redeem 
the promise ye have this day made, and see that ye fail not 
in one jot or title." 

20. Now, when these had gone from the presence of the 
King, then came they from the Soxithland before him and 
said : 

21. "Fear not, O, King. Thy cuckoos from the North- 
land will not be disobedient unto thy commands, because 
they are the sons of tlieir fathers, the Doughfaces, of the 
ancient days befo' the wa', who always did our bidding. 

22. "As for us, remember that we rule the ' Solid South.' 
And in this name are comprehended the whole doctrine, the 
faith and the practice. Naught else need be added." 

23. And when the King saw that all was well, he was 
glad. 



CHAPTER XLin. 

BROTHER JONATHAN SOUNDS THE TRUMPET. 

A ND it came to pass in the second year of the reign of 
King Grover, in the ninth month of the year, that Sim- 
onides, the scribe of the tribe of Lechay, stood upon the 
walls of Columbia. 

2. And he looked down upon all the land of the children 
of Brother Jonathan, from the East unto the West, and from 
the North unto the South thereof. 

3. And it was like unto a "valley which was full of 
bones," ***** " and, lo, they were very dry." 

4. The fire of the furnace, of the mill, and the workshop, 
had gone out. 

5. The noise of the wheel, the hammer, the spindle and 
the weaver's loom had ceased. 

G. The merchant, the handicraftsman and the laborer 
stood idle. 

7. The husbandman stood in his field by the side of his 
corn and wept, because there was none to buy the products 
of his acres. 



CHRONICLES OF HIS REIGN. 127 

8. The bTingry wanted bread, and the naked lacked for 
clothes. 

9. And there was none to help, for they that spoiled the 
land sat in the chief seats of power and authority. 

10. Then turned Simonides his face towards the West, the 
North and the East. 

11. And, behold, on the tops of the mountains of Berk- 
shire, on the pinnacle of the rock whence King Grover had 
"viewed the landscape o'er," 

12. Brother Jonathan, holding a trumpet in his hand. 
And he sounded the trumpet. 

13. And through the trumpet he cried in a loud voice unto 
all the people in the land, saj'ing : 

14. ^' Houfie ye, rouse ye, my children of the land inherited 
from your fathers, and hearken unto my voice in all the borders 
thereof. 

15. "Wisdom, virtue and the love of their country, was 
the crown of your fathers, whereby they cast the yoke and 
bondage of foreign tyranny from off their necks. 

16. " But je have been a foolish generation, for in the day 
of 3'our prosperity have ye not known your blessing. 

17. " Ye have hearkened unto the flatterer and the deceit- 
ful, and ye are left lamenting. 

18. " They that spake smooth words unto you, have de- 
filed the Council chambers of your temple. 

19. " They have forsaken the doctrine and faith of their 
fathers, and have ceased to worship at the shrine of free- 
dom, and have sold your birthright unto Moloch, and unto 
the stranger that is not within your gates. 

20. " The House of j^our fathers have they made a den of 
thieves, and the end is not j'et. 

21. " Tea, your King that spake smooth words into your 
ears ere he was chosen, saying : ' The mountains shall drop 
down new wine, and the hills shall flow with milk,' is 
leagued with them that seek the destruction of your pros- 
perity. 

22. " But, behold, the. day of your deliverance is at hand 
if ye will. 

23. "Therefore, put on the whole armour, and take the 



128 KI^'CJ GROVER. 

javelin, the spear, the bow and the arrow, the sword and 
shield. 

24. "Be ye not faint-hearted, but courageous and ' strong, 
and quit yourselves like men, O ye my children, that ye be 
not servants imto the free traders,' * * * * 'quit your- 
selves like men and fight.' " 

25. And when Brother Jonathan had thus spoken, he blew 
the trumpet with a mighty blast that was heard by all them 
that love their coimtry and their homes, in all the land. 

26. And behold ! a great army which no man could num- 
ber, arose and stood up, and came from every Province that 
lay north of the land of the Bourbons. 

27. They came from the furnace, the forge, the spindle 
and the loom ; from the mill, the workshop, the forest and 
the mine. 

28. The husbandman came from his field, and the laborer 
from his toil. Yea, from the hills and valleys did they 
come. 

29. And thej' marched with a sound like distant thunder 
upon the King's city to cleanse tlie temple of its pollution. 

30. In their right hand was the sword of the ballot, and 
in their left the shield of virtue, industry and integrity. 

31. And they slew the hosts of King Grover hip and 
thigh ; and they houghed his horses and burnt his chariots 
with fire. 

32. They threw down the images of Moloch, and Bacchus, 
his brother; and entered the great temple and cast out all 
them that defiled it. 

33. And from John, the Griffin, they took his great spoon 
that he might cast no more money into Moloch's maw. And 
his spies and tax-gatherers they cast out. 

34. And Hokesmith they cast down from his exalted 
throne, that he might plague Abraham's soldiers no more. 

35. And the people gave a shout, saying: "Unto us it is 
given to rule the land ; no King shall put his foot upon our 
necks again. 

36. And behold ! in the East, the light of the sun of pros- 
perity which was aforetime, and it rose higher and higher, 
until it shined unto the perfect day. 



IE S '07 



